Study Buddies// BILLIE EILISH

seven

She opens the door for me like always and makes her way to the driver's seat, "Okay, mamas, what's your address?"

I tell her where I live, worrying me because I don't know what she could do with that information and she drives out of the parking lot. The whole way there she is blasting music through the aux. I feel like I should take this chance to talk about the essay but I don't want to piss her off. I just try to remember what she said to me in the bathroom.

 "Baby, I'll do what you want, you just have to know what you want, and ask nicely." 

I have to know what I want and ask nicely. What do I even want? I want her to come inside when we get to my house. Then we can work on the essay there. Okay, yeah, that sounds like a good plan. Would it be rude to turn down the radio? It would probably be less rude than yelling.

By the time I get up the courage, we are turning onto my street. I quickly turn down the radio and Billie glances over at me, curiously. I speak.

"What are you doing for the rest of the day?"

She smirks, "I was gonna go home and bother my brother, why?"

"Well if you don't have plans you could come in?" I say as we pull up to my house.

She puts the car in park and turns to me, leaning her right shoulder on the back of her seat, "Who says annoying my brother hasn't been carefully written into my schedule?"

God she's so intimidating. I stumble out the best words I can come up with, "Oh, yeah. I have a brother too"

No I don't why did I say that?

"Do you now?"

I pause for a moment, turning red with embarrassment, "No, actually I don't know why I said that" I say as I rub my arm with the opposite hand.

She chuckles, "Cute"

She turns the key in the car and pulls it out. "I'll come in. Gotta meet the parents at some point"

I blush at her comment and wait for her to come around open my door like always.

"Thanks" I say sweetly as I step out of her car.

Billie leads me up to my door, holding my elbow. It's really cute but my parents can't see that and they might be home so I gently remove her hand from my arm and say, "I am not out to my parents"

She grins at me devilishly, "and I'm not gay" she chuckles and opens the door, letting herself in.

Fuck. Of course she's not gay. It's all been in my head. She's just taking advantage of me.

Any hope I had of her liking me back just washed away. I try not to let it bother me and just move on. At least she's nice to me... when she's not beating me up anyway. I watch Billie as she takes in my home, nothing special, just a normal suburban home. 

"No one is home yet" I explain. 

She looks away from our chandelier in the kitchen and says, "Damn, girl. You didn't tell me you're rich. Remind me to take your lunch money" she says in a low chuckle.

"It's not much" I say, trying drop the conversation.

"Yeah, yeah.. not much my ass." and she literally shakes her ass a little bit.

Holy fuck, that's so cute.

I try to hold back my smile, "Well, lets just go up to my room and I'll ask you the questions this time" I say with that smile that I just couldn't hold back.

She looks me in the eye with a smirk, "Hey, babes I'll answer your questions, you just can't be such a little bitch about it. Stand up for yourself and maybe you'll get what you want."

This girl is gonna be the death of me. She's always forcing me to go out of my comfort zone and it's terrifying. I motion for her to follow me up the stairs but she just stands there with that same evil grin she has every time she's fucking with me.

Okay, Cameron, stand up for yourself. Be confident.

"Billie, will you please follow me upstairs?" I ask, not wanting to piss her off and get my ass whooped.

She looks around the house, scanning her surroundings, and her eyes meet back at me. "Be confident, Cameron, tell me what you want"

Tell her what I want? She's gonna beat my ass.

"Follow me upstairs" I say sternly.

"Damn, you really tryna tell me what to do? That's not smart, hunny" she grins.

The fuck?

I take a deep breath and clear my throat, fed up at this point but not ready to let her know that, and I speak up for a third time, "Billie" I start slowly, "Please follow me upstairs." I smile and turn around, walking up the stairs myself.

I hear footsteps fast behind me and I get scared. I jump when a pair of arms wrap around me. She leans into my ear and my breath hitches, "Don't be nervous, kitten, you did a good job." I can feel her lips softly against my ear.

I melt. Seriously, my knees buckle a little bit and Billie has to hold me up until I get my footing again. Once I can stand on my own again, she chuckles at the situation and walks past me into my room. 

That is so fucking embarrassing. She's straight, Cameron. Get it in your head.

"Soooo," I start.

She finishes, "Did I tell you that you look really cute today? I like that little outfit on you."

I blush hard, "Oh, t-thanks"

She smiles and turns to look at the things around my room.

Wanting to begin working on the essay, I speak up, "Start with the basics, did you travel at all over the summer?" I hope that was sufficient enough of a sentence for her to actually answer me this time.

She continues peaking around my room as I wait for a response, picking up knick knacks on my shelves and running her fingers along my desk, "Yes, I actually did a couple festival shows"

Festival shows? 

"Festival shows?" I ask. 

"Yeah, you know like meet up in a big open space with a bunch of other artists and do shows for people?" She turns her attention away from the things in my room and faces me.

I look confused, because I definitely am. Embarrassed, I ask another question, "Other artists?"

She just gives me an uncomfortable smile as if I am supposed to have already known she's an artist. I am so afraid of being wrong and sounding dumb but I ask, "Billie, are you an artist? Do you sing?"

She holds in a laugh, "Umm, yeah, do you live under a rock?"

Actually yes I do, I don't really keep up with the outside world, I go from rewatching the same shows over and over again, to school work, to sleep every day. Again, social anxiety equals no friends in my case.

"Yes, I do live under a rock, sorry Billie"

"Nah, you're good, I'm just surprised you haven't heard it from your friends at school."

I turn red purely from embarrassment, "I don't have friends"