my alarm beeped, letting me know it was time to get up for work. i snoozed it a few times, staring at the ceiling with no motivation to get out of bed today. i reluctantly got up, looking at myself in the mirror. my mascara was smudged under my eyes from last night, which were still red and a little puffy from crying myself to sleep. i looked like a mess. i took a makeup wipe to my face to get the leftover crap off my eyes.
i showered and got dressed, trying to make myself look barely presentable for work. i walked by my mirror again "fucking idiot" i mumbled to myself. i can't believe i was so stupid. i opened the door into the hallway, gus was standing there. he must have been waiting for me to come out of my room.
"aspen—" he started. "no, don't even try" i said, walking right by him and down the stairs. i didn't bother getting coffee or eating anything, walking right out the front door. the walk to work was kind of nice, it was good to clear my head and get some fresh air.
"morning aspen!" one of my coworkers greeted me, "hey" i said kind of coldly, i didn't get a sip of whatever happy juice she had this morning.
the day was long and dragged by, i tried to be friendly with clients but i wasn't super chatty today. i did my best at each job and moved to the next. it hurt a lot more than it needed to, it wasn't a real breakup and we weren't actually together. i guess he didn't actually cheat on me, but he did make a promise and break a lot of trust anyways.
i did a couple of nail sets and a couple of hair treatments and dyes, the shift dragged on painfully slow. i just wanted to go home and sleep, maybe her really fucking drunk.
aspen drinks tonight ? pls
ben u bet girl they'll be ready when u get home do u want me to smack him upside the head for u
aspen ya tbh
ben made me smile, besides gus i had grown closest to him in the house. nothing but friends though. none of the other guys had been impressed with gustav either, everyone had been avoiding him last night and today. at least they had brains in their heads unlike someone.
my shift came to an end, i walked out to the street. the rides home from work were nice sometimes, i was always tired after the long days. i started my trek back to the house, putting some headphones in and music on. my heart leeched into my throat when my phone started playing gus' music right away, specially we think too much. of course it had to be that song. i pulled my phone out of my pocket to switch artists as quickly as i could. i couldn't listen to lil peep right now.
i made it home, letting myself inside. ben was waiting for me in the kitchen with drinks poured. "long island iced teas. double shots. drink" he said, passing it to me. it was strong as shit but exactly what i needed. "thanks benny" i said.
i sat at the kitchen table with ben, downing a few more drinks. "who does he think he is?" i asked. "i don't know, he's a fucking idiot. if he knew he couldn't handle changing he shouldn't have made you believe it" ben said. "right? and to think i ever even had a chance" i scoffed. "i think he'd actually liked you. but having girls chasing you all the time just kind of comes with the territory, everyone loves peep and everybody wants peep" ben said. "i guess so. still not an excuse for just being a disrespectful douchebag" i said. "of course, you're totally right. he had no right to be doing what he did. you deserve better" ben said.
i had a good drunken rant with ben, it felt good just to let all my feelings out. i tried to talk just loud enough that hopefully gus would hear what i thought from whatever he was in the house. "oh god, too much" i said, feeling all of the liquors try and come back out of me. i ran to the closest bathroom, puking my guts out. "you good?" ben called to me. "i am now" i said that it was out of me.
gus are u okay?
i rolled my eyes at his text, like he even cared. i didn't bother responding, i didn't have the time of day for him anymore.
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liked by liltracy, fish_narc and 5843 others lilpeep sorry guys album will be out later than expected. something came up. love u guys. 125 comments
oh my fucking god. not gus acting like he was the victim here. it was all in his hands, he chose to throw what we had away. "i can't believe him" i said to ben. "yeah, not him acting like he got done wrong" ben said. "like just drop your fucking album. it shouldn't be that big of a deal to him, he chose to ruin us" i said. "he cared about you a lot, i'm sure he's sad. but yeah he needs to not be dramatic" ben agreed.
who needs therapy when i have alcohol and ben on a friday night? not me. "you want another?" ben asked, pointing to my empty glass. "hmm" i said, considering it. "no, i should probably slow down now. my body already decided it hates me" i said. "fair enough" ben said, pouring himself another cup.
"you wanna come hear some new beats i've been working on?" ben asked. "yeah sure" i said, i hadn't really been shown anyone's else's music besides gus' and a little bit of cody and ben's stuff if they happened to produce it.
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liked by lilpeep, fish_narc and 1287 others aspendelgad0 bitch i feel like fish narc comments lilpeep nice aspendelgad0 🙄 fish_narc u up next fo sho 😎😎😎
a/n prolly 2 more chapters up today , i wouldn't be shocked if i finished this book by tomorrow night lol i have nothing else to do
