Bungou stray dogs: Dazai overdose

chapter 18

Atsushi pov
Kyouka and I had just arrived at the hospital and ewre led into Dazais room by his doctor. It suited a lot better, than the other one. This way he looked more like as if he was sleeping than dying. Kyouka didn't look so pleased by the look of Dazai on the bed, but she had desperately begged me to take her with me. She seemed to somehow feel coneccted to him and maybe they had something in common, but I have a feeling, that Dazai was nothing like Kyouka, not many members of the mafia knew her name. Dazai however, you didn't even have to say the full name a simple Daz- was enough and their faces showed both hate and fear.
We sat down on the chairs in silents. And stared at Dazai.

''He looks so weak....'' Kyouka stated. ''I never thought, someone, who can be so powerful, can become so weak.''
I looked at her. I was too curious to not ask, so I did. ''Why do you have such interest in Dazai?''
She looked at me and then at Dazais face.
''Akutagawa once told me his name, he said 'Dazai Osamu, if you ever come across him in a fight, give up and run' and when I asked who Dazai was, he said.
' Dazai is an ex-member of the mafia, the youngest and best executive, that the boss had had. He was a genius on more than one level and is gifted, with a nullifying ability. The future leader of the port mafia. He was terrifying, in his precense everyone talked. But he betrayed us, one second he was there leading a giant mission, and the other he blew the mission, basically led us into a dead end, left huge chaos under his subordinates and a huge amount of work behind, without even having a reason and we never saw his face again.'  And so I gained interest in him and then when I first saw him I couldn't believe, that this was the Dazai. But then I went on a mission with you and him. He predicted every move, but also, I could feel his bloodlust, overwhelming and screaming danger, then I finally understood, what was so special about him. He was more impressive, than I had heard. But something bothered me about it.''

''Bloodlust? I never felt that coming from him, from Akutagawa yes, but Dazai no''
''Everything Akutagawa knows, he learned from Dazai. And it's no surprise no one fekt the bloodlust. The mafia teaches you to surpress and detect it, to figure out, wether or not you can win a fight or not. The only ones beside me, who I feel like have detected it, are Fukuzawa and maybe Yosano, she seems like that kind of person.''
''Oh but what did you mean when you said, something bothers you about it''
''His face and his body language are completely different. His face says 'Hi it's me!' and his body says 'If you dare talk to me, I'll rip your head of'....... You were wondering why I wanted to come here right?''
''Yeah''

''I want to figure out, why he is, the way he is. He wears more, than one fassade. It's not as simple as, A depressed person faking a smile. He takes it to a whole different level. He is not the happy goof from the agency, but obviously, he wasn't completely honest in the mafia either. It's said he was cold and unbothered by anything. But I heard stories, he would relentlessly shoot into dead bodies, with a psychotic smile and satisfied expression on his face. It would take someone, usually Chuuya, to stop him , but sometimes it would take three people. Or there was not a single soul, that didn't talk after his interrogations, when even Mori couldn't get them to talk, with him they wouldn't dare miss out details and every now and then, the person he interrogated, was missing whole limbs and eyes or ears. I was told, you could find uncountable slices of limbs later on, he didn't only cut them of, he cut slices, and poked eyeballs out with hs mear hands. Of course, those are all stories, but stories like that don't appear out of nothing. So the unsatisfiable Dazai was a fassade.''

''And so now you think, he is a psycopath?''
''I thought he was, but then I met him and I forgot about it, until I felt his bloodlust and how he desperately forced himself, not to kill those who are annoying and in the way. But I can't believe, that he is a psycotic killer only satisfied with murdering people. Then he wouldn't have left the mafia, where he got to do eyactly that, and joined the agency. And no matter how much I think about it, I can't figure it out.''