Bungou stray dogs: Dazai overdose

Chapter 24

Fukuzawa pov
Kyouka and I had just arrived at the hospital, we walked in and went into the elevator. Kyouka had been rather quiet the whole way. I hadn't said much either. We entered the floor and walked to the room, we stopped infront of the door.

I hesitated to go in, I didn't know what I was expecting, or what I was supposed to expect, but I couldn't bring myself to open it.

I knew i had to eventually, so I forced myself to raise my hand and knock. A faint ''come in'' was to be heard and so we entered.

Dazai was still lying on the bed, pale, looking weak, tired, fragile, emaciated and sick. He had lost a good amount of weight in the past month, due to well the coma, the injuries and the stress, he had been through despite not being consciouss. Around him, there were Ranpo, Yosano, Kunikida and Atsushi. They had a look on their face, that expressed both happyness and worry.

''Hello President, hello Kyouka'' Atsushi said. I responded with a nodd.
''So how is he doing so far?'' I asked.
Yosano looked back down. ''Not as good as it was expected, but a little better, than yesterday.''

I frowned, not as good as it was expected? I walked up to them, Ranpo and Kunikida made space on their side of the bed. I walked to his head snd looked him in the eyes.

These eyes...I hadn't seen an eypression like that from him, since he was a child. Empty, hopeless, sad and tortured. I felt a deep crush inside my heart, I had to do something about it. At least try to do something.

''President, Ranpo and I are going to go back to the office, to finish our work, would that be alright?'' Kunikida asked. I thought about it for a moment, it might be good if we don't crowd the place to much so I nodded.

''Alright, good bye Dazai, I'll be back tomorrow'' Kunikida said and took his hand one last time.
''See you tomorrow'' Ranpo said. Dazai didn't react he just stared at them with tired eyes and so the both of them left the room.

Now it was Kyouka, Atsushi, Yosano and me, with Dazai. We sat there in silence for a while. Until the door opened and Dr. Jackson entered.

''Oh hello sir'' He greeted me and smiled at Kyouka.
''I was just gonna do a quick check up on his breathing and temperature.''
I moved aside to let him check Dazai. Once he was done he said his goodbyes, apologized for interrupting and then left again.

''Dazai, Fukuzawa and Kyouka are here'' Yosano said hesitantly. His half closed eyes searched around until he locked them onto me, staring right into my eyes.
It ripped me apart, his eyes showed with every expression they were able to do, ''help me'', in such a hopeless and sad way, I wanted to look away. But I couldn't do that, to him that would be like abandoning him.

''Hey...'' I said softly. ''...how are you feeling?'' I asked
His eyes asnwered for him, I wouldn't have had to ask to know, that he was feeling terrible.
''He can't really talk yet'' Yosano said, while stroking the hand of him, that was on her side, while I was holding the other.

I began to stroke his hair carefully, not to cause him any pain.
''I see'' I sated, not knowing, what else to say. I wanted to say so much to him, but neither would what I had say be appropriate right now, nor would I have found the right words to do so.

I wanted to ask why. I wanted to apologize, for not taking him in. I wanted to apologize for not realizing, how bad he was feeling. I wanted to punch him really hard, for how much trouble and worry he had caused. I wanted him to tell me what happened, in the mafia and I wanted him to tell me, what happened before I had found him.

But Yosano had told me to avoid subjects like that, to make it easier on his mental state. I hadn't understood it before, but now I realized, what she had ment.

Then Dazai began to cough. I was in slight shok as his body was violently forcing one cough after another.

Yosano didn't say anything, she simply grabben under his arms and lifted him up, then moved her arm to hold him up with one hand and rubbed his back with the other. He kept coughing until blood started coming up, opnce that had happend, he coughed a little more blood up and eventually stopped.

''You ready to go back down? Yosano asked, Dazai replied with a tired glance of his eyes. And so she lay him back down. He looked even more tired, than he had before.

''Dazai, it's ok if sleep, you've been awake for long enough'' Yosano said, stroking his hand once again.

And so he closed his eyes and drifted off into sleep.

''So you mind giving me some details?'' I asked, refering to what had just happened.

Yosano sighed and told me everything, from the moment he had firt opened his eyes.
''I see '' I said as I was replaying, what I had just been told. It seemed, there was still a long way to go.

''Still I'm glad he woke up at all.'' I said. Atsushi and Kyouka had seddled themselves on the table and were currently playing cards quietly.

We sat there for a while longer.
''I don't think hes gonna wake up again today, he was awake for a couple of hours, he needs time to recover from that.'' Yosano said standing up, as an obvious sign, that she suggested to leave. When I looked back down at Dazai she added. ''He'll be fine here, I'm pretty sure there's nothing to worry about'' Even though her voice clearly said otherwise.

I gave in since visiting hours were almost over anyways. So I said goodbye to Dazai, and left together with the rest.