When Sparks Fly

Training

When the boys get back to the house I have lunch ready. We eat before heading out into the yard to train. Sam and Bucky had gone out before me and when I step onto the porch I see the shield embed itself into a tree, "why'd you guys start without me?" I pull the shield from the tree and walk over to the boys.

"Sorry, P," Sam shrugs, "I guess we got a little over excited."

Bucky smirks as I walk over to me, "I have to say though. You holding that shield is something Id like to see more often, doll."

I shake my head and scoff, handing the shield back to Sam, "just try to aim for the trees we have padded up."

"Yeah, yeah, alright." Sam chuckles, "but before we do that, I've seen you throw some energy and I wanna see it again."

I shake my head, "Sam, I don't think that's possible."

"Why not?"

"The first and last time I did that I was extremely upset."

"Well, we can help with that," Bucky shrugs. "If anyone knows how to push your bottoms it's us, right?"

"You really think that's a good idea?"

"Sure but know everything is said to help not to hurt," Sam nods.

"Uh... okay?"

"Great," Bucky claps his hands, "what pissed you off last time?"

"John Walker being named Captain America."

Sam chuckles, "she almost set the swamp on fire."

"Alright, uh," Bucky scratches his nose, "John Walker is Captain America."

"Technically he isn't anymore," I shake my head.

"Okay, what about, uh, I ate the last of your watermelon."

I shrug, "we can buy some more."

"Steve and Natasha are gone and they're never coming back," I don't respond to Bucky. "Thanos killed them because you weren't strong enough to stop him."

"That's not..."

I start but Bucky cuts me off, getting more and more aggressive, "Steve is gone and he's never coming back, because of you. Half the universe was wiped out because you weren't strong enough." Bucky gets up in my face but I push him back, "come on, show me how strong you are. Show me the power that you should have used to stop Thanos."

I feel anger surge through me and the energy flowing. Then I hear Sam, "Bucky, stop."

"No, I wanna hear her excuse for being weak. For not being able to defend what she says is the most important thing in her life. Her family."

"Enough!" I shout, feeling the energy flow through and out of my hands as I send bolts flying into the nearby trees.

Bucky nods as he and Sam get up, since the two had ducked when I shot the energy, "great, now we just need you to focus it."

"How?"

"Well, focus on how you felt."

"Pissed off... at you."

"Yeah, if that helps. But try to focus all of it."

I nod and take a deep breath, thinking about how things could have and would have been different had I known all of what I know now about Thanos. How Nat would still be alive, how Tony would still be alive, and how maybe Steve would have stayed with me if we had never discovered time travel. I feel the energy surge again, but this time try to throw it out of my hand and it works. I end up sending a bolt right up into the sky, it kind of looks like when Thor summons his lightening, just not as big. When I feel the energy pass I chuckle, "that was awesome!"

"Yeah," Sam nods, "it was. But please don't ever use that on anyone unless you have to."

"Why would I? I don't wanna kill anyone."

"Good because that most currently will."

"Alright, enough, let's get back to Sam, he's the one who needs the practice."

Sam nods, taking a deep breath before throwing the shield to one of the padded trees, it bounces off and comes back, "feels weird..."

"What does?"

"Picking it up again," Sam tosses the shield again, it bounces off of a couple trees before Bucky catches it. "The legacy of that shield is complicated, to say the least."

"You don't have to tell us that," I catch the shield after Bucky throws it.

Bucky nods and sighs, "when Steve told me what he was planning, I don't think either of us really understood what it felt like for a black man to be handed the shield."

"How could you?" I throw the shield and it comes back to Bucky.

Bucky shakes his head, "I owe you an apology, Sam. I'm sorry." Bucky hands the shield to Sam.

Sam accepts the shield, "thank you."

"Whatever happened with Walker, it wasn't your fault. Either of you. I get it. It's just that shield is the closest thing I've got left to a family. So when you retired it, it made me feel like I had nothing left."

I shake my head and lift Bucky's arm, placing it over my shoulders, "that's not true. I'm your family now and you have me."

"Yeah, well," Bucky chuckles, "it still made me question everything. You. Steve. Phebs. Me. You know, I've got his, uhh... I've got his book. And uhh... I just figured it if worked for him, then it'd work for me."

"I understand, man," Sam nods. "But Steve is gone." Bucky sighs and nods as well, "and this might be a surprise, but it doesn't matter what Steve thought." Sam throws the shield and catches it when it comes back to him. "You gotta stop looking to other people to tell you who you are." Sam throws the shield again, but when it comes back Bucky catches it. "Let me ask you, you still having those nightmares?"

"All the time," Bucky nods. "It means I remember. It means a part of me is still there. Which means a part of the Winter Soldier's still in me," Bucky throws the shield and Sam catches it.

I sigh, "let us give you some tough love. You want to climb out of the hell you're in, do the work."

"I've been making amends."

"No you haven't," I shake my head, "I wanted help you, but I've been hurting you by letting you continue on what you've been doing. You weren't amending, you were avenging. You were stopping all those bad people you enabled, because you thought it would make up for all the wrong you did, bring you closure. We have to find these people so you can say you're sorry, because you think it'll make you feel better, right? But it's not about you, Buck, it's about them. You have to go to them and be of service."

"She's right," Sam nods, "she's always right. I bet there's at least one person in that book who needs closure about something and you're the only one that can give it to 'em."

"Probably a dozen," Bucky nods.

"That's cool. Start with one."

"Good talk, guys," I chuckle before Sam and Bucky give each other the bro high-five handshake thing. "You two know Karli isn't gonna quit, right?"

Bucky nods, "and Sam can call us when he has a lead and we'll be there. Not necessarily as a team."

"Nope?" Sam shakes his head.

"We're not that good."

"Definitely not."

"We're professionals."

"Definitely."

"And uhh, we're partners."

"Coworkers."

"You're both pains in my ass," I sigh, crossing my arms.

"We're just a couple of guys with a mutual friend," Bucky gestures to me.

"I can live with that," Sam nods.

"Perfect."

"Thanks for the help, you two. Meant a lot."

"Of course," I smile up to Sam.

Bucky grabs his bag and starts to walk away, "come on, doll, we got places to go and people to find."