The Beauty Of Rose

T H E G E O R G I A

XVII

THE CARRIAGE RIDE back to the house was silent. Matthew was flipping through something, I think he brought a book with him. I refused to look anywhere in his direction. I stared directly in my lap, studying the embroidery that had constructed my skirts. I thought about how many hours had gone into creating a dress this big. I wondered how many times her needle had snatched in the thread or she'd frowned at her stitch work. I pondered over the life of a seamstress and the amount of happiness I could've had if my life had been that simple. I wished I'd been born simple and uninteresting without the burden of rushed, obligatory marriages. I would've been so much happier. When the carriage halted, my stomach dropped. The last thing I wanted to do was enter that god-forsaken house.

"Ladies first," Matthew said abruptly. I looked up from my dress. He was staring at me.

"You might as well take me to an asylum, Mr. Whitfield. You've taken my last chance at happiness," I answered.

Matthew blinked at me. "You know what they do to patients in there? Do you know what type of life they lead?"

"I know what type of life they lead."

"Then you should be grateful that I decided to spare you that type of pain, Ms. Axel." He gestured to the door. "Out of the carriage."

"What are you going to do now, Mr. Whitfield? Will you finally divorce me? Will you finally put the both of us out of our misery?"

Matthew narrowed his eyes. "You were the one who wanted to halt the divorce on advice of your cousin. That was you."

"And you burnt down the house of the only man who could ever love me! The only person that  I saw myself having a future with--"

"I told you to apologize!"

"I'm done! I am done! I'm done trying to save myself when everyone keeps..." I curled my hands into fist as I struggled to keep burning tears at bay. "I can't do it anymore, Mr. Whitfield. I yield to you. I submit to you. If you want a divorce, I shall give you it. If you want me out of the manor, I'll leave this very second. Whatever you want, you can have. I am...done." There was the briefest silence.

"I want you to get out of this carriage."

I bit my bottom lip until I tasted blood. "I don't want to share this house with your mistress any longer. I won't do it."

Matthew lips lifted in a mocking smile. "I thought you were done. I thought you were ready to submit to whatever demand I requested."

"I will not live with your or your mistress any longer. If I have to live on the street as a beggar, so be it."

"Get. Out!"

"No!"

I decided to look at him now. Matthew's entire face was flushed red with anger and frustration. His body was tense and arched forward defensively, as if he was ready to attack. But his eyes... They weren't the dark, smoldering stones I'd look into yesterday. They were still so blue. He wasn't just angry. He was...

I laughed coldly.

"What?" he growled.

"Don't tell me it's guilt. Don't tell me you feel guilty."

"I have nothing to feel sorry for, Ms. Axel."

"Then why won't you leave me at the asylum? Why won't you leave me at the Axel country home where I will no longer be your problem? Why do you want me to stay at this house when I've finally agreed to give you your out?"

"Get out of the carriage."

"You don't want to leave me at the mercy of my family. You know that they'll treat me horribly once I'm a penniless, divorcee. You feel bad."