All The Small Things

64

Luca POV

I woke up cuddling Dady, which was a bit confusing, considering the last thing I remember is sleeping on the couch. But I'm not complaining. However, I didn't know where Papa was.
"Aw, good morning, Bubba." Dady said, gently rubbing my head.
"Mm.. mornins." I mumbled, leaning into his touch and rubbing my eyes.
"Papa?" I quietly asked, looking up at him. But, I don't think he really liked me asking that.
"Oh.. He's out with a friend." He mumbled, taking his hand away from face. I pouted and tried to read his face. He looks hurt and kinda mad.(?)
"Dady's mad..?" I asked, hoping he wasn't.

"No. I'm not." He bluntly said, his words not matching his tone. I sniffled and rubbed my nose, cuddling up against him. He took a breath and laid against the headboard of the bed. Maybe he thinks I like Jacob better than him, but that's not true. I just wanted to know where Papa was.
"Don be mad.." I whispered, trying not to cry again. Jesus, why am I so fucking sensitive? I'm even meeting with a therapist now, so why am I so sad.
"He should be home soon. He's been gone for a bit, and he just needed to go ask about a job or something." Kayden mumbled, handing me Jupiter. I gently took him and laid back down, holding him close. I don't wanna bug Dady..

When Papa did get home, I was still on the verge of tears.
"Go get your favorite." Dady told me after the front door opened.
"I don't have a favorite.." I argued, climbing out of bed. He didn't answer me. My lip quivered, and I ran out to see Papa. I need cuddles. It's not me picking favorites, but Dady doesn't want em. Right? Or am I being mean..?
"Love bug! I missed you! Where's Dady?" He asked, taking off his jacket and holding out his arms for me. I hesitated for a second before reaching out, letting him pick me up.
"Bed.." I mumbled, laying my head on Jacob's shoulder.
"Is he sleeping?" He asked, glancing at me. I kinda shook my head, beginning to pick at my bottom lip. After a second, he walked into the bedroom and silently looked at Dady.
"What?" He asked, looking up at Papa.
"Dude, what's up with you? We can talk about it, but you're kinda acting like a dick." Papa said, leaning against the side of the door frame.

"You have your own room. If you don't like it, take him and go upstairs." He said, staring at us. I don't like when Dady acts like this. It scares me a little.
"You can't just shut us out when I'm trying to help you." He argued, only making Dady look angrier. He didn't even answer. He just stood up and walked out. Out of both the room and the house. I'm why he's mad.. Dady hates me.. I can't stand when I'm the problem, but I always somehow end up with that being the case.
"Kayden! Let me talk to you." Papa shouted, setting me down and hurrying after him. I hugged Jupiter close and sat on the floor, gently rocking myself. I don't know what to do.. I still have my cigarettes, so maybe I should just smoke. I stood up and started digging around in the bedside drawer where they still were. I grabbed the pack and lighter, taking a cigarette out and opening the window. I sat down and set it in my mouth, quickly lighting it. I took a long, deep drag and blew it out as I felt my body shake a little. Jupiter told me I shouldn't do that and I had to tell him I didn't know what else I could do.

I set him a couple of feet away so the smoke wasn't in his face and rocked while I took drags. Papa didn't come back until after I had already put the stuff away. I went through 3 of them pretty quickly and figured he'd be back soon, so I went ahead and put it away.
"Love? Come here!" Papa called from the kitchen. I shakily stood up and grabbed Jupiter before hurrying out to the kitchen.
"Dady's gonna go stay with someone for a bit, okay?" He told me, wrapping his arms around my shoulders.
"I-Is he mad at me..?" I whispered, trying not to look away from him.
"I don't know, but if he is, it's not your fault. He's not feeling the best lately." He comforted me before pausing.
"Your breath smells like nic." He mumbled, making me look away from him. I shrugged and held Jupiter closer, hoping he didn't tell on me.

"Babes, you need to tell me the truth. Did you smoke something?" He asked, making me tear up a bit.
"I-I.." I stuttered, not able to articulate myself suddenly. Eventually, I nodded a little and shut my mouth.
"Babe, I'm sure we can get you something to help you quit. They've got nic patches and gum, but neither of us want you to smoke it." He gently reprimanded me. I nodded a bit before reaching up for him. I'm feeling non-verbal, as in I don't think I could really talk if I wanted to.

"How about we go do something?" He suggested. Maybe I should get out of the house with Papa. I nodded a bit, laying my head on his shoulder.
"We can go to the park, or with my friends -" He started listing things, stopping when he saw me nod again.
"Aww, you don't wanna talk? That's okay, Papa can work with that." He said, smiling and making me feel a bit better.
"I'll text my friend and see what she wants to do." He mumbled, pulling his phone out and carrying me to the bedroom.

"Cmon. You'll be okay, I'm gonna be with you." He soothed me, unbuckling and taking his keys out. His friend, Jess, has a boyfriend who's also a little, and we're close in age. Little and big age. Jess' boyfriend's name is Augustast. I unbuckled myself and followed closely behind Jacob up to their front door. After he knicked, it only took a couple of seconds for the door to open.
"Hey!" She exclaimed, letting us in.
"Auggie!" She shouted up the stairs, shutting the door behind us. A guy, an inch or two taller than me, raced down the stairs and quickly pulled me into a hug.
"Cmon. I wanna play." He said, quickly pulling me after him and back up the stairs.
"Do you like trains?" He asked, digging out a box of toys. I nodded fast and5 dropped down to my knees so I could play with him.

He pulled out a bunch of pieces of a track you can put together yourself. He brought out train cars you can link together and run on the track. I smiled and stimmed, waiting for him to tell me I could play with him.
"You wanna help me put the track together?" He asked, effectively getting me to nod. For a good few minutes, I hummed to myself and built with him. He was talking most of the time, but I don't mind. I kinda like not having to be the one talking, plus he's really funny anyways.
"Is Jacob your Dady?" He eventually asked, scooting a bit closer to me.
"Papa.." I quietly said, nodding a little.
"Do you like him?" He asked, making me nod again.
"My momma doesn't make play dates a whole lot, so you're super special." He said. I smilled, admittedly it made me happy that they like me and Papa.

After about 20 minutes of playing, I started wondering where Dady went. Did he go for forever? I know Papa said it was a couple of days, but I'm scared he'll be gone longer.
"Momma said you have 2 of em, where's your Dady?" He asked after placing another piece of track. I didn't know what to say for a minute, so I was silent while I thought about it.
"I-I.. He's mad.." I eventually explained.
"Oh, what about?" He continued.
"Mm.. I asked where Papa was, and he got mad.." I mumbled. I don't really want to explain it. I think it'll make me cry.
"Oh.. He doesn't sound nice." He said, suddenly making me mad.
"Don't say that.. H-He's nice." I told him, pouting.
"Well, he doesn't sound it." He told me. I wanted to tell him to stop, but I couldn't articulate myself when I started crying.

"No, don't cry." He tried to soothe me, pulling me into a hug. I tried to stop for him, but I didn't know how to.
"C'mere." He mumbled, helping me up. He helped me downstairs, and me crying got his mommas attention.
"What's wrong?" She asked, getting Papa to look over at us. I sniffled and climbed into Papa's lap, burying my head in his chest.
"He's sad.." Auggie said, sitting next to me and Papa. I rubbed my face and closed my eyes. I just want Dady, and he doesn't want me. Auggie went and played by himself while I cuddled Papa. HIm and Jess talked while I was clingy, partly about Dady.

"No, he's staying with someone from work for a couple of days. Kaydens just.. I don't know, disengaged. I think he should talk to his doctor about it, but we both know he doesn't like to always admit when he needs help." Papa told Jess, running his hands through my hair. I don't know how to feel, and I feel guilty about having fun earlier when Dady's sad. Is Dady thinking about me? Does he miss me? Is he having fun?