The Barbarous Us-KTH FF (Book I)

THIRTY SIX

She didn't give me a chance to speak before laughing to herself. "Of course you do, you're the great Min Y/N."

"Eun get to your point."

"I love Namjoon, and I don't want to lose him. But I see the way he looks at you," she muttered, and I really hoped this conversation wasn't going where I thought.

"There is nothing—"

"No, I know," she said quickly, her eyes wide. "I know Namjoon would never cheat on me even if . . . I want him to look at me the way those kids do when I hand over a check. I want him to light up like he once did. So I need to be more like you. I need you to help me be more like you."

"Not gonna happen," I replied. "There is only one Min Y/N, and there will be no second edition."

"Y/N. I don't want to be you. I want to be like you. I want to be able to shoot a gun. I want to learn how to fight. I've always wanted to learn, but it was never our place. But then you came in shattering glass ceilings and literally breaking down walls. I want to see if you could train me. I don't need to become the best, but I want to be able to feel in control, and I want Namjoon to see me more than just a—"

"A good old housewife," I finished for her.

She frowned, her nose flaring. "Yeah. I want to get into the ring and show him there is so much more to me."

"Why not ask him yourself?" Namjoon was a great fighter, he and Taehyung boxed every morning.

"Because he has stopped seeing me. Everyone has stopped seeing me! I know what that means for our future. If I don't do this, Namjoon and I will only grow further apart and he will resent me. I would rather die than have that happen." She looked so scared that I almost wanted to help her.

"Eun, you have to train for yourself, not Namjoon, or any man for that matter," I replied, and she looked at me as though I was the one who was crazy.

"Namjoon is me, Y/N. We have always been in sync, and then somewhere down the line, the music changed for one of us, and now I'm looking for the right station to get back to him. He would do the same for me. He has done the same for me. It's what married couples do. So, please, help me," she begged, and I wasn't sure what to say.

"I'm busy, Eun." The look of disappointment in her eyes bothered me. "However, Ari can stay behind and work with you while we are gone for the week. Then after that, I will see. Be prepared for months of bruises and pain."

Eunha grinned, pulling me into a large hug.

"Thank you!"

"You're touching me."

"Sorry," she said, letting go quickly. "Thank you."

"Yeah, goodnight," I told her before leaving. Eunha was good at getting what she wanted from me, and the last thing I wanted was to agree to anything else.

When I entered Taehyung's and my room, I could hear him in the shower. Stepping toward the door, I watched him as he stood under the stream of water. The drops rolled off every part of his body. He was so beautiful. He looked like a statue chiseled out of finest stone.

"Is there something you needed, Y/N?" he asked me, not bothering to look up.

Y/N? He hadn't called me that since the first time we had sex, and for some reason, hearing him call me that now bothered me.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing, Y/N. I will be out in a moment," he replied, emotionless, but even I could hear the lie in that.

He was ticking me off. We do not lie to each other. Taking off my shoes, I walked straight into the shower, not even bothering to take off my dress. Flinching at the coolness of the water, I glared into his eyes, grabbing the side of his face.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Y—"

"Call me Y/N again and I will knee you in the balls." I was not going to let him lie to me.

He brushed back my wet hair before pulling it and my head back. Pushing me against the wall, I glared into his eyes, they no longer seemed brown, instead they were filled with fire burning with passion and rage.

He snapped at me. "You do not own me. You do not own us. I am not your pawn."

"I never called you a pawn!"

"In my mind, I thought I was getting closer to you. But then tonight I realized all you do is play everyone around you, including me. I bend at your will. Since when did I start bending? You do not own me! I'm not another piece, I am your husband."

"Stop bitching at me. You're mad over my words? Why are you so fucking emotional?"

"Because I'm human, and therefore I have emotions!" His volume made my eyes widen. "Do you even like me, Y/N? As just Taehyung?"

Where the fuck was this coming from?

He smirked sadly, shaking his head as he turned off the water. Stepping forward, he kissed my forehead. "The fact that you can't answer that question is enough."

"You make it seem like we were high school sweethearts who eloped. This is business, Taehyung. I told you I could rule beside you, but I can't handle your emotional shit."

He knew this! Why the fuck was he being such an idiot?

"I made a mistake. I thought you didn't understand love. But you do. You love the blood and the power, as do I. However, I was making room for you, and it has made me soft. You're surpassing me because you don't give a fuck. You wouldn't take a bullet for me or even shed a tear if I died. I'm the guy to staunch your need and then you're off. I'm just sex. This whole night was nothing but Y/N. This whole marriage has been about Y/N. I won't waste my time. You want business? You will get business," he answered, leaving me standing in the shower. I was shocked and confused.

Did I even like Taehyung?

He was amazing in bed and beautiful, funny . . . sometimes. I didn't hate him.

When I stepped into the room, it was pitch black, making the hair on the back of my neck rise as I made it onto the bed.

He turned off his light. He never turned off the light. Ever since he found out about my . . . fear. The nights we didn't have sex—which were rare—he read until I fell asleep and each night he said goodnight, love. He tried not to make it obvious, but I knew the reason. If he was going to be cold, I was going to be colder. He was such a dick. But part of me felt like he was right. I hadn't really put in much effort since our second night together when I'd told him about the white shoes. He had looked so happy then, as if knowing that little detail about me was going to make his day.

So what if I had called him a pawn or a piece tonight? We were both pawns. We both knew that when we got married. Why was he trying to complicate the relationship? We fucked. We worked. Simple. But now that motherfucking asshole had to make sure I cared.

Groaning in frustration, I sat up quickly. He was awake, staring up at me with no emotion. I wanted to scream at him! Because of his fucking shit, I couldn't sleep.

"Let me guess, you need to have the last insult?" he asked, sitting up to prepare himself.

I raised my arms ready to strangle him, but pulled back. I was going to kill him. I wasn't clear about the reason yet, but I was going to kill him. There was so much I wanted to yell at him, but nothing was coming out.