The Barbarous Us-KTH FF (Book I)

THIRTY SEVEN

"What the fuck do you want from me, Taehyung?"

"Go to sleep, Y/N. You're going to wake the house."

"I don't give a fuck," I snapped. "What happened? One moment we are fine and the next you're . . . what the fuck Taehyung?"

He yawned and it ticked me off to no end. "I'm going to war, Y/N. Everyone is coming for me . . . coming for my family, but the most dangerous woman in the world is sleeping next to me. I care for her, but she doesn't give a shit about me or anything."

"That's why I'm the most dangerous woman in the world!"

He smirked. "It's also why you're alone. You can trust me in work, but with you personally, you won't let me get close."

"I don't know you!" I yelled. "How long have we been married? Ten fucking days, Taehyung? Who falls in love in ten fucking days? Who feels anything in ten fucking days! That isn't normal!"

"I do." He glared at the ceiling. "We aren't normal. Normal people don't shoot other people almost daily. Normal people don't sell drugs nor are they at risk of dying every day. I don't have any time to waste going through the motions. Either I like it or I don't. Either I'm in or I'm out. I do not walk in the middle."

"Not everyone is like you."

"You're like me," he whispered. "But you would rather lock everything out. Joy, pain, love. You work on anger and lust."

"I don't hate you, Taehyung. Goodnight." I frowned, turning onto my side.

TAEHYUNG'S POV

And just like that, I wanted to smirk. I knew I had her. Step one, smother her with love. Step two, take that love away. Step three, drag the raw emotions out of her kicking and screaming. The moment I left the dining hall, I knew it was time for step two. I planned step three for the morning, but she just had to talk it out now.

I knew who she was, and most of the time I loved it. But I didn't have time to take down her walls, brick by brick. I needed to find a weak point and then blow it up. I would keep going, keep being cold to her until she admitted the truth to herself. We weren't just sex anymore. Even now as she drifted to sleep, I could feel her leaning back for my warmth. She cared. She wanted to care more, but she was afraid.

Waiting until she was deeply asleep and muttering to herself, I reached over and hugged her against me. She smelled amazing. Kissing her lips softly, I watched as she rolled into my arms.

She wanted this. She wanted me. I was going to break her out of bitch mode . . . for me. I enjoyed her bitching at Jisoo.

"My sweet Y/N. You're going to admit you love me, even if you have to pull your hair out to say it," I whispered, kissing her forehead.

After all, everything between us was a game of chess, and the key to winning when the game changes is to switch tactics. I had, and now checkmate was only one more play away.

All I had to do was complete Step four and she would have to say it. Once she did, we could be what we needed to be. However, I was going to need help, and sadly, that meant Jin.

EUNHA'S POV

I watched him through the mirror as we both prepared for church. Like always, Namjoon was calm, collected, and deep in thought as he changed into the clothes I picked out for him. He seemed to be on autopilot. Truthfully, I think he had been on autopilot for a long time.

"I love you, Namjoon ." I smiled at him, causing him to stop and look at me oddly.

He walked over and kissed my cheek. "Me, too."

On the outside I kept a smile plastered on my face even though I felt like screaming. He didn't say it back. He used to say, "I love you more." But that seemed like ages ago. Part of it was my fault—my habit. However, he was to blame as well. He stopped talking to me. He stopped making me part of his life. I just stood on the sidelines now, waiting for whenever he was drunk enough to want to have sex.

I brushed my hair and stared at myself, taking a deep breath before standing up.

"Are you ready?" he asked, trying to tie his tie. Even with my heels, I had to stand on my tiptoes to help him.

"Yeah." I smiled for him again. I always smiled for him.

Nodding, he took my hand and led me out. With each passing moment, it became clearer and clearer what I needed, and it was Y/N's help.

NAMJOON'S POV

I was going to hell. The moment I saw Y/N step outside, I knew I was going to hell. I was breaking so many sins at once, and on a Sunday no less. One, I lusted after my cousin's wife. Two, I was jealous of the type of relationship they had. And three, my sweet wife was standing right beside me all the while, unaware.

I cared for Eunha deeply. Looking at her, I couldn't help feeling like a complete ass. She was so loyal and beautiful. However, she wasn't the same full-of-life Eunha I remembered. She was so strong when I first met her, she would laugh so hard she would cry. Now . . . now I didn't know what had fucking happened. Maybe she was scared of me. Maybe she had seen too many bloody shirts. Either way, she stopped being my Eunha a long time ago. Now I looked at Y/N, wishing to God I could have one night, and it made me hate myself.

Taehyung was only now starting to understand how lucky he was. Y/N was passionate. She enjoyed the job. She fucking wanted to be more involved in the job. Taehyung didn't understand. Every time Jin and I tried to confess to Eunha or Jisoo our sins, they would look at us as if we were monsters. We were monsters. We knew that. But our wives shouldn't think of us that way. Y/N was the opposite. During the wedding, she had congratulated Jin for passing her test.

She watched him put a bullet in a motherfucking Russian's head from a helicopter and came over to say good job, and meant it.

"Eunha?"

Smiling, I took Eunha's hand, walking her to the car door before opening it for her. She looked at me oddly but I kissed her cheek. She smiled back like always as we took our seats. She held my hand as I looked out the window.

I wasn't going to cheat on Eunha. I would never cheat on Eunha. . . physically. In my mind, I already had. This morning in the shower as I stroked myself, I already had. All I thought about was Y/N's wet—

"Namjoon!" Eunha giggled, looking down at my erection in my pants.

"Fucking shit." I tried to adjust myself.

She stopped me and began to unzip me, but I grabbed her wrist.

"You don't—"

"I want to," she said, pulling me out of my pants. I jerked in her hands.

"Eunha—"

"Shh, baby," she whispered before taking me in her mouth.

Instinctively, my head went back, and I heard the driver change the music to something louder. I trusted Sam. He wouldn't dare speak a word.

I shivered when her tongue licked me. In my mind—because I was a fucking bastard—all I could see was Y/N. In my mind, it was Y/N kissing my cock, and it made me want to fuck her mouth. The moment Eunha. . . Y/N took me into her mouth I grabbed her head. She sucked faster and faster as I thrust my dick into her mouth. Her beautiful brown eyes looked up seeing me coated in lust. I fucked the shit out of her mouth, groaning madly until I came deeply at the back of throat.