Kiss The Sun

Chapter 8

"Oh my god," I said, turning on my heels and back out into the bunk area. Lilianna rushed after me, fiddling with the shirt she threw on.

"Brooklyn, wait," She called to me.

"No, I think I've seen enough." I walked towards the front of the bus.

"Please, just..."She sighed. "Let me explain."

"Explain what? You were the first person to say that a relationship with them would blur lines, Lil. I just..." I trailed off.

"I know. I know. And I've felt so guilty about it. I swear we were gonna tell you guys it's just-"

"Wait. You've been planning this? How long has this been going on?" I asked as Danny joined us in the living room.

"It doesn't matter." She answered. 

"How long, Lil?" I pressed.

She sighed and looked at Danny, then back to me. "Since we met." She mumbled.

My mind started racing to that day in the park. Was it obvious, their chemistry? 

"So all the 'meetings' where you didn't learn anything useful?"

I thought of the times she was rushed to a last minute meeting, the times she and Danny both went to bed early. At the bar after the first show, when she went to the bathroom. I had been so focused on walking outside to figure out what was wrong with Cat, I had missed that Danny was also missing from the pool table.

She nodded guiltily. "Yeah. I'm sorry, Brooklyn. I wanted to tell you I just...Honestly, I was just ashamed because of our deal."

My gaze softened as she looked back at Danny. I saw the love and care for him in her eyes. "I'm not mad at you, Lil. I couldn't be mad at you for following love. I'm just hurt that you thought sneaking was better than telling me. I thought we were closer than that. And I've been out here busting my ass to avoid these men to try to keep up my end." I looked to Danny, panicked, and added, "Pretend you didn't hear that last part."

"It's quite obvious on both ends, but if you want me to keep it secret, I'll keep it secret." He smiled. 

I didn't have the courage to ask him who he meant.

"Can we just...keep this between us until we figure out how to tell the girls? You know Cat isn't as forgiving." Lilianna asked me.

I weighed the options in my head for a moment. I didn't really need another thing weighing on my mind right now, but Lilianna had also been there for me non stop for 3 years. I owed her this one thing.

"My lips are sealed. And I'll go back inside now. Tell the others that my headache feels better." I smiled softly.

Lilianna pulled me in for a hug. "Thank you," she whispered in my ear.

With that, the door to the bus opened and Josh, Cat, Beth, Sam, and Jake walked up. It was only 1am, early for them all to be returning. Cat was stumbling up the stairs and they were all giggling, all obviously too drunk to think anything had just happened between us.

"Guys!" Cat giggled. "Jake just had the best idea!" 

"What was your best idea, Jake?" I said, mocking her. 

He finished the last sip of his beer and set the bottle down sideways on the table. Spinning it around he said, "Classic game of spin the bottle."

My heart sank, the all-too-familiar pit in my stomach returning. They were all drunk and giggling at the idea, already forming a circle on the ground. I saw this ending so many ways, none of them good. Cat had been the only one to see my almost-kiss with Sam. No one else here knew there were any feelings at stake. But I looked down at Cat, sitting in the circle right across from Jake, eager to play, and back to Lilianna and Danny, taking their places, and realized that if they were all willing to do it, then I would too. If they would say to hell with our deal, to hell with our rules, to hell with our boundaries, even if it was for one night, I would say to hell with it all too.  I opened the fridge and grabbed another drink, knowing I'd need it, and took my seat. Next to Sam was Jake, then Josh, Lilianna, Danny, me, Cat, and then Beth back next to Sam. I looked up and met eyes with Sam, directly across from me.