Kiss The Sun

Chapter 21

Another show finished. Another city visited. 

And as the crowd grew more connected, more enthusiastic, more supportive, I felt our group falling more and more apart.

It had been a week since Peter showed up, since Jake punched him. The first two shows after that, Jake would walk off stage with blood dripping in between his fingers, his cut opening during one of his solos. 

But we never talked about it. We didn't talk about much. Only small, shallow, almost necessary conversations. Sam and I were still dancing around whatever it is we were. He brought me so much comfort, but after everything with Jake, I don't know what to do. I don't know where Jake went that day when he showed up drunk after my set. I don't know how to navigate my relationships with either one of them.

Lilianna and Danny were sitting across from me at the bar. She was on his lap and he had his arm sitting around her waist. She would turn back to him when he would speak, unable to keep her eyes off of him. Their relationship was enviable and perfect, their personalties and gentle spirits connecting naturally with each other. 

Beth, on the other hand, was sitting by herself next to the pool table where Jake and Sam were playing. She was staring blankly, pretending to be watching, but really lost deep in thought. It had become very obvious that her and Josh were no longer speaking. At all. I didn't even know why. She hdsn't told anyone. All I knew is that Cat heard shouting and found her crying on the floor. The light that usually radiated off of Beth and her beautiful smile was dim.

Josh was no where to be found. For about a week and a half, Josh had taken to going to his own after parties with people he met at the show, crew members, or sometimes just wandering off alone. He would always stumble in right as it was time to leave, his eyes red and his stare vacant. 

Beth broke more and more each time she saw him return that way. 

I'm not fully stupid. Obviously there must have been some feelings there. My guess is that Josh tried to make a move and Beth politely declined, sending Josh into a spiral and causing Beth to feel guilty. But I have no idea what truly went down with them.

And I'm just sitting back, watching. Tiptoeing on a very very thin tightrope, dancing on eggshells around people I used to be the most vulnerable with. It was like in the movies, where a car is teetering on the edge of a cliff, swaying, as if it could fall any moment. One gush of wind in the wrong direction, and we all go crashing down.

But one gust of wind the right way, and we are back safely on the road.

I just had to figure out what that gush was. 

"Brooklyn?" Lilianna's voice pulled me from my thoughts.

"Yeah?" 

Danny started laughing, "Lost in thought?" 

I gave him a tight smile. I really had been.

"Do you want another drink?" Lilianna asked, tipping her head. It was only then that I noticed the bartender standing at our table.

"Oh, my god, I'm so sorry. Yes. I'll do a Malibu cran." I told her. This happened more and more frequently as our popularity grew. Fans came up to us on the street, servers bring our food lightning fast, bartenders come to our tables. It was surreal.

I watched Cat emerge from the bathroom and sashay over to Sam, Jake, and Beth. She had on a simple white tank with a black bralette peeking from underneath. Paired with it was a black mini skirt, cowboy boots, and a bolo tie turned choker. She took the simplest things and made them edgier, cooler. I sighed. Lilianna was turned towards Danny, lost in their own conversation. The way she scrunched her nose when she laughed, the way her eyes lit up, she looked so happy in love.