All The Small Things

144

[Jacob POV]
The next few days, Luca really didn't want to get up and go to work. To be honest, he looked and acted pretty depressed. So when he had therapy, I figured I should bring it up to Justin so maybe they could talk about it. I texted Justin about how I think it would be good to bring it up, drove Luca to the office, got out of the truck with him, and waited with him too.
"I wanna go home," he whispered to me, laying his head on my shoulder.
"I know," I quietly acknowledged. Lately, most of his comments throughout the day are that he's tired, he wants to go home, he wants to go to bed, that he doesn't want to talk, or that he wishes he didn't think at all. Justin opened the door to the waiting area and locked eyes with my baby before waving him back to his office. Luca looked at me before getting up and following Justin. I just hope he's fine.

When he came back about an hour later, I couldn't decipher the emotion Luca was feeling. It sorta looked like a mix of ashamed and upset.
"Okay, so," Justin quietly started saying, sitting down next to me. I could already tell it was big because he sat down, so I was just trying to brace myself for the worst.
"I had him do a depression screening and when it was pretty high, then I had him do one to evaluate how much of an immediate risk he is to himself," he continued, "And he scored really high on that too. So, I really think you should take him to get admitted to either Meadows or Valley Vista. They're both relatively close, but Meadows is a couple miles closer this way. I wouldn't go to the ER since he isn't physically injured right this second and they take forever,"
"Okay... Um, if he gets admitted, are there papers to give to our manager so he can keep his job?" I asked. I know Luca doesn't wanna go into work lately, but that's almost definitely his depression. That's not because of what it's like working there.
"Yeah, you just have to ask them for it after they evaluate him and all that. But either way, I hope you get to feeling better," Justin answered before standing back up and taking back his next client.
"Come on, baby," I softly told Luca, standing up. He shakily stood up and clung to my hand as I walked him out t0 the truck. He set his head against the metal of the truck and started crying as I unlocked the door.
"I-I don't want to go..." he told me, trying to keep his breathing normal.
"Luca, you need to. You don't want to do anything lately, baby. You need a little help," I gently pointed out.
"I'll go to work. I'll do whatever, but I can't be stuck in there with everyone," he begged me. I know he's willing to try and do anything to keep himself out of there, but his scores on those tests Justin gave him said he was gonna end up hurting himself somehow. So, I can't really in good conscience just let him stay by himself for half the day. But at the same time, how am I supposed to send my fiance away for a week when he's crying and begging me not to. In the end, I figured it would've been safer to admit him so he couldn't hurt himself. Justin gave me copies of his scores to give to the hospital, so I stopped by the house and got him clothes and hygiene things.
I waited with him for a couple hours. They evaluated him and said he was gonna be admitted, so I handed him his belongings before kissing him and telling him I loved him. He knows my phone number, and I wrote it on the contacts list so he could call me at night.
"Call me tonight too, 'kay?" I told him before leaving the staff member and Luca alone.

[Luca POV]
Jacob took me to get evaluated at Meadows. Regardless of my promise to act normal, which I don't really blame him for.
"Were doing the strip search," the staff member told me, opening the room door for me and guiding me through the hallway to a medical exam room.
"Shirt, then pants, then socks, then boxers," he instructed me, so I obediently listened and let him mark down whatever he needed.
"Alright, we gotta make sure you don't have anything on you. Lift your arms. Show me the bottoms of your feet. Open your mouth and lift your tongue," he listed, giving me a new set of instructions the instant I completed the last. It honestly started to overwhelm me.
"You can get dressed into these," the worker said, handing me white boxer-briefs, dark sweatpants, dark blue grippy socks, and a baggy white t-shirt. I quickly re-dressed myself as he started firing questions at me.
"Any medical conditions?"
"No,"
"Mental disorders?"
"Um, Autism, Major Depressive Disorder, and Generalized Anxiety Disorder," I quietly listed.
"Step on here so I can get your weight and height," he demanded. I quickly listened, stepping up and watching the number settle.
"One eighteen and a half. Five foot, eight inches, and a quarter," he loudly read, embarrassing me and making me stop watching.

"Okay, go wait at the nurses station so they can check through your bag," he instructed me, opening the door of the medical room to the main hallway. It had a nurses station in between two main hallways, one being boys and the other being girls. I carefully walked over to the nurses desk and silently waited for them to acknowledge my presence.
"Hey, hun. Let me check that for you so we can wash your clothes," one nurse said, reaching for my bag as I set it on the counter. She took out an inventory sheet and was about to start writing, but paused.
"What's your name?" she asked.
"Luca..." I whispered.
"You're gonna have to speak up, I can't hear you over all the yelling," the nurse told me. I knew she was just being honest, but I couldn't help when I started crying. Everything's too much. It's bright, it's loud, I have to talk louder, I have to repeat myself, and I can feel the tag of the sweatpants stabbing me.

I plugged my ears, oblivious and uncaring about what the people here thought about it. She read the paper the male staff member set in front of her on the desk. I saw her read my name and write it down on the inventory sheet before starting to individually look through, and log, my items. In the end, she slid over the paper for me to sign, which I did quickly so I had my hands off my ears for as little time as possible. Apparently, Jacob read their regulations before checking me in, so he knew we were allowed a stuffed animal and had packed Oliver for me. But I also understood why they had to wash them like how they had to with clothes.
"Go to the day room. Dinner's in about an hour and a half," she loudly said, to the point I heard her while still plugging my ears. I followed a staff member I hadn't met yet to the dayroom where she gestured for me to just find a seat. There were way more people my age than last time.

By phone call time, I had gotten to meet everyone once and had both calmed down a little and made a couple friends. The people I was so far closest with were all a group of friends before I got there, but they invited me in. Ashley was a girl with dark green hair that looked professionally dyed, Damien was very outgoing with everyone and had a buzzcut, and finally Sammy, who had bright blonde hair, would've made anyone skeptical that dumb blonde stereotype wasn't true. They were all fairly nice though and understood why I was super overwhelmed.
"Luca, phone call!" the nurse called from the doorway of the day room, interrupting me watching the other three play a game of Uno. I popped up off the floor and hurried after her to the nurses' desk.
"Who we calling?" she asked, flipping to my page in this big book full of people's information and papers.
"Jacob," I instantly answered.
"Alright, go wait by the first phone," she told me, lifting the facility's phone and starting to dial. After 6 seconds of it just ringing, I looked at the clock to double check he wasn't still working. He wasn't because it was 8:15.
"Hi, this is Elizabeth at Meadows, I have Luca here to talk to you. Do you want to take the call?" she asked. I turned to face the wall again, holding my hand over the landline mounted on the wall. The second she transferred it, I snatched it off the hook and held it up to my ear.
"Hi?" I asked, pulling my hair back so it wasn't in the way of the speaker.
"Hi, baby. Are you okay?" he asked.
"Yeah, I guess so. You remember that they do visits on Wednesdays?" I asked, bringing my fingers up to my mouth and biting my nails.
"I remember. I'll come see you. Have you made any friends?"