(Jan/7/2024) [Sunday, 3:09AM]
(TW: Intrusive thoughts, St@rvation and past trauma.)
Okay so a few minutes ago I snuck out and I didn't see anything however, I did feel followed and I was very uneasy and paranoid.
I even heard a few boys screaming and I went the opposite way of where the screams came from.. I don't know why they screamed but, I hope it wasn't anything bad.
Symptoms:
-Dizziness/Nausea
-Feeling VERY tired (even when I get enough sleep.)
-Not eating almost anything.. (I have only been eating once. Every day.)
-Rarely feeling hungry.
-Hallucinations (Shadow figures normally)
-Feeling weak or fatigue
-Paranoia
-Feeling followed
-Feeling watched/observed
-Feeling scared/nervous at random times. (Normally happens when I draw the slenderman pages)
-Coughing fits
-Headaches (Sometimes migraines)
-Having intrusive thoughts
-Feeling the need to stay awake at night. (Insomnia?)
-Feeling a bit depressed
-Having no dreams at all (I rarely have dreams of slenderman)
-Hating the world for no reason
_______________________________________
Vent:
First of all. I'm going to say that I feel weird and i can't really explain it.
Lately I have been thinking about.. starving myself. I don't suffer from body shaming or anything. I'm skinny but, for some reason I want to starve myself.. I don't know why. It could just be my intrusive thoughts but, lately I haven't been feeling like myself. I have been lashing out at my parents and basically almost everyone. I'm starting to actually hate the world for no reason. I don't know, i just don't feel like myself anymore.
I have been getting a lot of intrusive thoughts lately. Like about commiting arson but, I don't actually do it though. (I don't know how to use my mom's lighter) I don't know how to make these intrusive thoughts stop. They just won't go away. Like everyone else. It drives me mad.
I want to be left alone for a while.. BUT MY PARENTS DON'T KNOW WHAT PRIVACY IS. I just wish they left me alone for once.
I think that one of the reasons that caused me to have.. the disorders that I have. Is because of Brianna and Monica. And my parents are technically also at fault for how I am.
Brianna and Monica's backstabbing and bullying caused me to get: social anxiety, Harm OCD, depression and suicidal thoughts (not a disorder but still putting it in anyway).
My parents. Because their fighting and arguing almost everyday caused me to get: More depression, anger issues (again, not a disorder but, im still putting this in), Bipolar disorder and trauma.
So if I don't update to much lately it's because I'm struggling with school and everything else.
Also thank you so much for 320 reads! I love you guys so much and I hope you understand. Bye! Have a good day/night! ❤️
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My Journal (Creepypasta Experiences...📼)
Mystery / ThrillerThis is my journal. It's where I will be posting my Creepypasta or Slenderverse experiences, investigations, researches, ect. (Iᴍ ᴀ ᴄʀᴇᴇᴘʏᴘᴀsᴛᴀ ʀᴇsᴇᴀʀᴄʜᴇʀ) ⚠️ I'm warning you.. Do NOT make the same mistake as me.. This is not a joke at all.. Whateve...
