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Morana hates waterbeds.
Especially when she's strapped to one, being stretched to ever direction by all her limbs while a dyslexic ADHD idiot chit chats to the crusty man who has the most brilliants of business ideas. Stretch the customers to make them fit perfectly in the cursed beds.
Why not write that outside on an ad. Should bring in customers. 'You might die but at least you'll have a perfectly fitted waterbed!' Or well actually 'you'll be perfectly fitted for your waterbed'.
"And the workmanship on these beds? Fabulous!" Percy coos to the disgusting man. Morana grunts in annoyance. She doesn't feel the pain but she can feel the ligaments of her limbs stretching and crying out. Not really her favorite feeling.
"I tell my customers that. Every time. Nobody bothers to look at the workmanship. How many built-in Lava Lamp headboards have you seen?"
"Not too many."
"That's right!"
"Percy!" Annabeth yells in protests. "What are you doing?"
"Don't mind her," Percy turns to Procrustes. "She's impossible."
The giant laughs. Morana grumbles, "We'll see about impossible Perseus Jackson". Percy forces the smile to stay on his face but he gulps a bit.
"All my customers are. Never six feet exactly. So inconsiderate. And then they complain about the fitting."
"What do you do if they're longer than six feet?"
"Oh, that happens all the time. It's a simple fix." He lets go of Percy's neck that he had a hold on and reaches over the counter for a huge double-bladed brass axe. He says proudly, "I just center the subject as best I can and lop off whatever hangs over on either end."
"Ah," Percy's smile twitches but he keeps it up. "Sensible."
"I'm so glad to come across an intelligent customer!"
Percy can hear Morana letting out a dark chuckle. "Truly intelligent".
Annabeth is turning pale and Grover's whimpering. Morana looks like she's gonna be sick.
"So, Crusty . . . Does this one really have dynamic stabilizers to stop wave motion?"
