All The Small Things

167

[Jacob POV]

I finished Vaccuming and was kinda wondering where Luca was, and then I saw that there was a new trashbag in the trash can. I assumed he went to go throw the trash out. He stepped back in, saw me, and quickly hugged me.
"You miss me?" I cockily asked.
"It's scary in the dark," He mumbled as I ran my fingers through his hair.
"I know, Bubba. You ready for dinner?" I asked, changing the topic. He nodded a little and followed me to the kitchen while I tried to find something to make. I found mac and cheese, but it was the kind Luca had told me he really didn't like. So I scrapped that idea and kept searching.

"Dady, 'm not hunrgy," He whined almost 10 minutes into me looking. That pissed me off more than it should've. He couldn't have told me 10 minutes ago? I roughly shut the cabinet and turned so my back was against the counter, just wanting to stay silent for a second. Luca didn't get the hint that I wanted it to be quiet so I could calm down because he kept trying to tell me stuff.
"I don know why. Cause I was earlier, and now 'm not. Which really doesn't happen a whole lot. So, I don know why it did just now," He rambled, "It might be cause I jus ignored it for long enough. And then it went away. But, I don think that's posed to be normal -"
"Shut up, please," I interrupted him, trying to be nice. He instantly fell silent and just kinda tried to keep from showing that he was upset. I took a deep breath and rubbed my eyes before trying again.

"Luca, I wanna hear about it. Okay? But I just need a minute of quiet. Alright?" I asked, expecting almost any emotion other than anger. Well, really, it was a mix of anger and sadness.
"Why don't you jus say that? You don't gotta be mean," He asked, tears welling up in his eyes.
"M goin' to bed," He said, sliding down from the counter.
"Baby, you're right. Okay? Just talk to me about it," I asked, grabbing his hand only for him to pull it away.

[Luca POV]

I was just trying to be honest and communicate with Jacob about what I was feeling, but it apparently just upset him. So he told me to shut up, which really hurt. And then, not even half a minute later, he asks me to communicate.
"I was," I cried, genuinely confused about what he wanted. I don't know if this is just what most people act like, but to me, if I do something and you don't like it, don't ask me to do that. It's sorta like when you ask someone how they are, and they say their fine and sometimes they are, and sometimes they aren't. Then when they aren't fine and you take their answer at face value, that's 'wrong' because they were 'clearly upset', and I should've asked them if they were sure. But when they say their fine and I ask if they're sure, they get mad cause I should just take what they say at surface level. One of the easiest ways to trigger me, though I'll admit there's a lot, is with confusing social norms.

"I already was tryin to, an you got mad!" I exclaimed, sniffling.
"You're right," He repeated, calming me a little. "I should've told you I needed quiet instead of telling you that. And I'm sorry. I'm gonna try and say that instead next time,"
"Dady," I whispered, reaching up for him.
"I'm so sorry, baby," He mumbled, picking me up and kissing my head. "You wanna take a bath? We can see if you're hungry again after?" I nodded and clung onto him.

In the middle of my bath, I was sitting in Dady's lap when I noticed that one of my duckies was painted like a Nemo fish.
"Shark," I slurred, picking him up and biting him.
"Ah-ah, don't eat him," Dady reprimanded me, pulling it away from my mouth. Instead of biting my ducky, I switched to biting Dady. It happened to be on his neck.
"You can't eat me either," He said, grinning.
"Dady! A shark gotta bite!" I reminded him, making him laugh a little.
"I guess you're right. If you promise to just bite and not eat me, I'll let you," He comprised.
"I jus bite!" I agreed, starting to chomp down on his neck again.

That next morning, it was Valentines Day, and Lila was coming over. I figured my dad was banging his fiance, and they didn't want Lila around for it. So he shoved her over here.
"Luca, we need to go get groceries before your sister comes over. Your dad said he was dropping her off at 1, so we should go do it now," Jacob told me since I was still under the blankets.
"Come hold me," I whined, sitting up and hoping he'd cuddle me for just a minute.
"If you get a shirt and socks on, I'll hold you," He agreed, sitting on the edge of the bed. I sat up and slowly found a t-shirt and socks, slipped them on, and climbed back in Jacob's lap.
"Luca, I know most of the conversation we're having are about food. But, you really have to start eating more often. I don't care how long you take to eat them, but you need to have em," He started saying.

"Okay... I'm just not hungry a lot, and if I eat when I'm not hungry, I feel sick," I tried to explain, looking up at him.
"I don't know how to help you with that, Bug. You might just have to start small until your body feels safe enough to tell you it's hungry," He answered. I figured he was probably right, but it still was a little upsetting that I just had to just suck it up.
"That's stupid," I whined.
"Well, baby, you sorta helped create that," He reminded me, even though I remembered.
"I know," I answered, popping my knuckles. "But I also was fifteen and didn't know it would be long term,"
"You were 15?" Jacob asked, even though I thought he knew that.
"Yeah. Well, I'd say it started at 15. Like, I wasn't totally committed until the end of 9th grade after I made friends with that guy. And then it got worse by senior year. And now it's kinda chilled out," I explained more in depth.
"I thought you were older when it started," He mumbled, making me shake my head in response.

"No. It's kinda weird. It started as just being really picky cause I didn't like most foods. Then my momma stopped getting groceries, and her eating habits got worse. So it kinda ended up rubbing off on me, just a little bit. Like, just enough to start the idea. And then that one friend really, like, encouraged it. So it actually developed as something serious," I tried to clarify.
"Okay," He said, taking a moment to check his phone, "We need to get going. It's almost 11, and we have a lot to look at," So I stood up and pulled my tennis shoes on since it was getting warmer outside.

The store was pretty busy considering it was a holiday. So I really clung onto Jacob's hand. We were in there for a while. We were taking close to 7 minutes per aisle, which adds up when there's 20 aisles. I was socially exhausted by the time we got to frozen things.
"Do you wanna get ice cream or popsicles?" Jacob asked, making me think for a second. Now that he mentioned it, I was suddenly really craving those red white and blue popsicles. I got them when I went to my aunts house cause her kids loved them, and holy shit, they sounded so good.
"Do they have the red and white and blue popsicles?" I asked, starting to bite my fingers.
"Is that what you want?" Jacob asked, turning down the section with all the frozen stuff. I nodded a little, following him aimlessly. He stopped, so I did, too, and watched him grab the box.
"Thank you," I quietly said, making him smile as he set them down on top of the rest of our groceries.

"You need new socks while we're here. And new boxers," He said, partially to himself, before leading me to the men's clothes. You'd think that since his legs were longer than mine, he'd walk way ahead of me. But, I guess I just walk fast cause I can keep pace with him.
"What color do you want?" Jacob asked, scanning over the shelf.
"Blue or black," I answered, looking around and letting him pick what he thought I should get.
"It's a baby!" I suddenly told Jacob, seeing a toddler start wobbly running down our aisle, closely followed by who I assumed to be his dad. They had super similar faces, and the kid was giggling while running away. So I assumed the kid thought it was a game. The kid ran over and gripped my pants leg, making me smile and wave at him.

"Sorry! I swear, some kids need to be put on a leash. Cause all this one does is run," He apologized, making Jacob laugh a little.
"No, it's completely okay. I get what you mean," Jacob said as the guy pulled the kid away from my leg.
"Yall have a good day," the dad sighed as he carried his kid out of the aisle and into the main walkway.
"Jakey, I want a baby," I whined, suddenly reminded of how cute little kids are.
"We don't need a baby. You're close enough," He answered, setting a pack of boxers in the cart before I gently shoved him.
"'M not a baby," I reminded him. He gave me a look of skepticism before telling me I was.
"Nooo," I argued, making him say yes at me in the exact same tone. I didn't know what else to say, so I rawred at him. Quiet enough that nobody else heard it, but loud enough that he definitely did.
"I guess you're right. You're not a baby. You're a dinosaur," He admitted, grabbing my hand and starting to take me to find socks.

We didn't spend much longer in the store. And the whole car ride home, I made noises at Jacob. He didn't care. When we got home, he had me help bring groceries in.
"Dadyyyy," I whined as he started putting them away.
"What?" He asked, sitting down on the floor in front of the fridge and putting refrigerated things away. He already put up the frozen stuff.
"Hold you?" I asked, sitting down next to him.
"Bug, your sister's coming over. I don't think you wanna be little for that," He suggested, but I really just wanted to hold him and have it be quiet for a little bit. I also took his suggestion as rejection, so I laid my head on his shoulder and sniffled, rubbing my eyes so my tears would go away.

I heard Dady sigh before pausing for a second.
"Well then, come here," He mumbled, pulling me into his lap.
"Jus want quiet," I whispered, covering my ears. Jacob's good at being quiet with me as long as he has nothing big that he wants to say. So, for 10 minutes, he silently put up groceries. And for the other 40, he stayed quiet and moved with me to the couch where he played with my hair.