Here We Go

23: Whoops

Wade's POV

When I opened my eyes, I was struck with an all-too familiar sight that I did not want to see at that particular moment. I was in my living room.

Apparently, Deadpool wasn't kidding when he said I could accidentally teleport home. Because guess what? THAT"S WHAT HAPPENED!!!!

I wasn't lying. I told you.

This is dissapointing.

Why?

You're kidding, right? I was in the middle of enjoying a very nice kiss with the guy I've liked since the seventh grade, and I teleported away from him out of nervousness. How would I be able to enjoy that scenario?

I don't know. Maybe you're insane. Wait, we are insane.

Not that insane though. Would it be too awkward to just teleport back? Probably. I can't do that! Plus, I still owe Jackson that hot chocolate and pretzel. I should probably do that before he gets sad and cold.

Yeah, good idea. Ditch the guy you like for a homeless man. That makes sense.

Hey! Don't be a dick! Jackson is a great guy, okay? He's nice and I enjoy helping him out, and it wasn't my fault that I accidentally teleported away.

Fine. We still owe Jack that hot chocolate. Let's get going before he gets sad.

Finally, you have a good idea.

I guess I should just drive. The repeatedly teleporting is getting pretty tiring. I walked to the counter and grabbed my car keys and checked my phone for any messages from Peter or anybody else. Nothing.

Hurry up, Jack'll get upset.

I know. I left the apartment and was about to get into my car, then decided just to teleport to save time. I was getting tired and felt like some sleep would be really great right about now.  Then I remembered this really good organic bread place with awesome hot chocolate and thought about being outside of it. I opened my eyes and was suddenly standing in front of the café. I grinned and walked inside, walking up to the counter.

"Hello," I greeted the girl at the counter. She smiled at me.

"Hi. What can I get for you today?"

"I'll take Belgian hot chocolate to go, please." She nodded and typed something into the computer-device-thing.

"Eight dollars please." I handed her a ten dollar bill and she gave me two ones in return. I retreated to the wall to wait all while conveniently staying out of the way. A few minutes later the hot chocolate was done so I went up and got it, thanked the girl, and left. I rounded the corner into the alleyway and teleported to my favorite street corner; the one outside Macy's.

I walked down the sidewalk to the first food cart I saw and ordered; "One pretzel please." I pulled my wallet out of my back pocket.

"Five dollars," the man said, and handed my my pretzel. I gave him a five and walked for a minute, finding a secluded place to teleport to Jackson. I found one finally and disappeared. I walked down Jackson's alley and grinned, sitting down on the pavement and tapping his shoulder.

"Phil!" he said happily. I nodded and handed him the hot chocolate first.

"That's right. Careful, it's a little hot. I got it from that fancy organic bread place." Jackson grinned and held it with both hands, obviously enjoying the warmth. He sipped it and then set it on  the ground. I handed him the pretzel and sat with him while he ate.

"Phil, you are the literal best," he commented, sipping the hot drink once again. I smiled.

"Thanks Jack. It's no problem, really." Oh shit! I didn't get him a cheesecake! ugh. "Jay, I totally forgot to grab you a cheesecake."

"It's fine, Phil."

"Sorry. I just got a little caught up..." I awkwardly scratched the back of my neck.

"That's fine. Thank you for the drink and the pretzel though. They were very good," he said, shaking my hand. I nodded and patted him on the shoulder.

"Thanks. I'll see you around, yeah?" He nodded.

"Yeah."

"Okay. Got to go, see you soon."

"You too," he called as I started off again. I decided to walk home because, as I already told you, the teleporting was getting tiring. I went past Central Park and turned down the street, passing Trump place. Then I passed Trump Place, Trump Place, Trump Place, and Trump Place. I don't know why that guy has so many buildings. At least he didn't win that election back in 2016. I remember that...

My dad, Logan, is Canadian and he moved to the U.S. for work. (I still have no idea what he does.) He adopted me when I was five, in the beginning of 2016, and whenever we turned the tv on, there was some presidential candidate ad playing. Whenever when we would turn on the news, there was usually something about Trump at debates, saying something stupid and

Anyways, it was 2016. One of the Republican Candidates was Donald Trump, who everyone hated. Luckily, he did not will the presidential election. At the time, all of the candidates were hated and so Mitt Romney ended up running again, at the near end of the term. He won, and not Trump, because everyone hated all the other Republicans so they voted for Romney. Good for that, too, because if he won, dad told me we would move to Canada.

I was brought out of my thoughts by my ringing phone.

"Oh shit," I muttered to myself. It's Peter. Do I answer it?

Don't be a dick. Answer it.

"Hello?" I said, holding the phone to my ear.

"What did you do to him?" That sounds like Tony... Why is Tony calling me from Peter's phone?

"Excuse me?"

"What did you do to Peter? He came home and he was super happy and weird. Did you drug him? I swear, Wade Wilson-"

I cut him off. "I didn't do anything! I swear!"

"Then why is my son listening to the Phantom of the Opera and cleaning his room?" Oh shit, I must have made him super happy. Peter only listens to Phantom when he's super happy. And he only cleans shit when he's in a really good mood. Did I really have that big of an effect on him?

"Uh, I may have kissed him," I said quietly. Tony went silent. "Look, Mr. Stark, if you're mad, I totally get it. I'll leave Peter alone if you want, please don't kill me." He laughed.

"Kill you? Why would I kill you? You can see Peter as much as you want. I'm not going to stop letting my son talk to some guy who seems to make him really happy. I'm not a dick, Wade." Well... "If you hurt him, however..." He didn't even need to finish. I gulped. If I hurt him, I'll have the Avengers and more on my ass. No thank you.

"I understand, sir. Thank you so much."

"Good. Now, get your ass over here. He won't talk to anyone and you started this. Now fix it." The called ended and I put my phone in my pocket. So, I'm allowed to see Peter?

Are you deaf? Yes. Now let's go see him and kiss him again.

Well, I can't argue with that. I went to the curb and hailed a cab. "Avengers Tower, please."

"You got it, kid." The cab started down the street.