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Chapter 51: Maya

I feel my heart ram against my rib cage as Harvey drives me to school. I don't even care that the radio noisily talking about things in way which is meant to be humorous but is simply awfully sad. I don't care that today is cloudy and it might rain, and I especially don't care for  whatever Harvey is talking about because all I can think about is Cale. I have to be better. I can't bore him, I can't simply let him stay in that state he was yesterday. I'll cheer him up! As I always do! I'll make him smile! Possibly laugh!

Oh god, I really thought I would never turn out to be a girl who falls so deeply for someone that they are afraid they may never get back out, but I am. I used to think the only future for me was my business and frankly, that's the only future I needed. A family seemed useless to me since, in my own experience, they don't last unless they are that rare gem such as Gigi's family. I never even believed in love and I'm still unsure of its existence. But what I do know is this feeling of panic and excitement rising in me is certainly not friendship.

I want this traffic to go away so I can finally see Cale and have him explain to me what yesterday was about but part of me also wants this traffic to last forever so I'll never have to see him again and find out why. Everything is so conflicting and nothing makes sense and everything I want to do keeps on getting changed by another idea because the next one seems better, more suitable for the situation which I am completely unaccustomed to and this is foreign land for me and new territories and

I NEED TO STOP!

The words ring in my head and I take a deep breath before looking out at the scenery before me.

Oh. It's raining.

Finally Harvey drops me off and I find myself being even more jittery than I was barely a few seconds ago and I immediately search the halls for Gigi. I need support and love and nobody does that better than Gigi.

When I finally do see her she walks towards me, a grim look on her face. She grabs hold of my hand and drags me to another part of the school and I am left utterly confused.

"Hey! Gigi! Stop! What's going on? Where are we going?"

"We're leaving." She replies void of any amusement which scares me more than just a little.

"What do you mean? Why?" I demand as she continues to drag me forwards.

She doesn't answer and I find myself getting angrier before I stop completely, unable her from dragging me further.

"Gigi answer me! Why should we leave? I'm not moving until you tell me!"

She looks away, a look I can't quite pinpoint on her face; sadness, anger, regret? Thoughts race through my mind as I picture all the worst case scenarios. I mean, I've never even seen Gigi this way, it must have been really bad. Part of me simply wants to follow her away so we can talk about it and alleviate the stress weighing on her shoulders. Then I hear Cale's voice sound in the corridor and I feel my lips immediately turning to become a giddy grin as I remember all the things I promised myself I would do and Gigi's eyes widen in a pure state of panic.

"Maya don't-" she warns as a horrified yelp.

I turn to look towards him before my eyes stop dead.

Silence.

For about half a second I think I was dead.

Everything around me seems to fade to a monotone gray. Life itself seems to stop as my eyes are fixed in simple yet devastating shock as I see her arms laced in his as she smiles happily like a young puppy.

Cale's eyes meet mine and his smile completely falters as our eyes are locked in a gaze that doesn't seem to end. All sorts of emotions seem to dance in his eyes but the most protruding being regret. Regret? What does he regret? Regret kissing me? Regret leading me on to simply toss me away? Or simply regretting hurting my feelings?

I am in a trance. I'm dreaming. Nothing is real. Then it hits me. The cold hard truth. He's with Daisy. He chose her over me. I didn't even know he was conflicted. Of course he chose her over me. It makes sense. He used to love her. His one and only ex. The girl he kissed in the corridor that day. The girl with the blonde hair, big boobs and big ass and an adorable laugh. The girl that sends all the signs, that lets you touch her in places I would deem indecent, that makes her only crave her more as the relationship advances. The girl who steals your man. The girl who cheats at life and will cheat on you.

For a moment I feel sorry for him, I feel that it's his loss, but that thought immediately fades as I see her tug a little more at his arm as she sees me.

Immediately tears start to well up in my eyes as I turn quickly to simply run into the pouring rain.

Nothing matters.

It doesn't matter that the rain is soaking me up, or that my shirt is white. The only thing I can focus on is the terrible pain that I feel everywhere. My gut feels like it was turned upside down, my heart feels like someone pierced it more than a thousand times and my head... it hurts simply by picturing them together, looking as if they never had a care in the world while I was here, my tears drowning me in my own misery.

I was here.

Alone.

Once again.

Forever.

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Hey guys! This chapter honestly was painful to write...

Don't be too mad at me? 😣🙏🏽

Song: Dahlia Sleeps - Breathe