Flicker | ✔️

Chapter 63: Gigi

I take my shower after I get home and wear clothes for school. Life doesn't stop and although Maya is in the hospitable, her eyes still yet to open, my life continues on; or at least that's what I'd like to hope. The truth is, it doesn't. Maya was the reason for my newfound happiness. All of it, just to be wiped out again. I need her and I'd like to think that she needs me  too, but now I'm apart from her, it's like she simply ceased to exist.

It's like she's already dead.

I put my bag on and get out to sit in the car seat beside my mom, desperately trying to push away the gnawing in stomach which sickens me at the memory of Maya's crash. I still can't believe it happened. I stay silent beside my mom and so does she, which is unlike her bubbly self. Instead, her eyes stay focused on the road skimming between the different cars ahead of us.

"How are you coping honey?" She finally asks as traffic graces our hurried souls.

For a moment I stay silent.

"What do you mean?" I reply, unsure of what she defines as coping. "Am I alive and breathing? Yes. Does it hurt inside? Yes. Can I stop thinking about Maya? No. So, am I coping?"

She turns to look at me, her eyes finally resting on mine, her brown eyes a similar shade to Maya's but not quite, not exactly. But almost.

"Honey, if you ever need support or a big long hug, you know I'm always there for you. Of course you can visit Maya as much as you like and apparently the doctors say she will wake up. It's just a matter of when."

"But how long or short that period is is what matters. What if she wakes up when I'm 20 and my life is already elsewhere, away from her. I want her now. I don't want her to wake up feeling lost. I don't want her to forget me either."

"Honey she won't. You're far too important to her for her to forget you."

"I doubt that." I say looking out the window remembering her feelings for Cale.

Cale. That annoying fuck. He deserves to go die in a hole. He took her away from me and then broke her heart when mine was so easily available to her and that was the cause of her accident. Whether he feels guilty or not isn't my problem. But I do hate him. Cale. Every time I heard her utter his name made me cringe internally and I had to fight back the urge strongly. I still remember how she blushed when I asked her about the kiss. I could only feel my heart drop as it wasn't a face meant for me, with feelings directed towards me. No. It was a face she made as she thought of him.

I feel my heart sink even more as I picture everything in my mind. Everything that led up to that awful accident. Cale making out with Daisy is still imprinted freshly in my mind.

It was gross. Gross to look at and a gross thing to do to Maya. He fucking had the luxury to make out with Maya and then went for that tramp? I would've traded places with him at any given moment but Maya wasn't enough for him? Maya is everything to me. She may very well be my world.

Still thinking of the blood oozing out of her head as I held a seemingly lifeless Maya made me shiver.

My mom stops the car and through all my reverie I realize we've come to a stop.

"Try to have a good day at school, honey." She tells me kindly, an encouraging smile on her face.

"Thanks mom." I reply with a grateful smile in response.

She kisses my cheek and head out to a world without Maya. A world I hate and despise because of my many experiences. A world I wished I never had to live in. But I do. Maya is gone and now no one is here to protect like that day. No. I'm all alone in this.

I head to my locker, keeping my face brave as students turn to look at the girl in a coma's bestfriend. Bestfriend. I hate that Maya and everyone else labels me as that. Maya doesn't know and I don't blame her but part of me wonders how can she not know? There are times I try to make it obvious, but she still doesn't take the hint.

Once I asked her if she wanted to kiss for practice. Obviously it was a mere excuse but Maya kindly rejected the offer, completely unaware of my intentions.

It pissed me off.

"Hey Gigi?"

I stop in my tracks and look up.

Carter.

What does he want?

"Do you need something?" I ask him dryly.

"Just sending my condolences for Maya."

"She's not dead." I snap immediately.

"Just trying to be nice."

"Well it's hard to accept your kindness when you cheated on me because you thought I liked someone else."

"Well you do."

"Even if it were, what right do you have to cheat? Fucking break up with me first if you don't like me anymore! And for the record, I don't like anybody else."

I see Cale at the end of the hallway, his hands crossed over his chest as he looks at me. A 'I know you're lying' type of look. I want to punch him.

"Gigi, give me another chance? I swear I'll treat you better. I honestly thought you didn't like me."

I did and now, not so much.

"Gigi, please say something."

His tall figure was looming over me, his dirty blonde hair up because of the gel he uses, his green eyes light and playful and his cologne strong but pleasant as usual.

I sigh.

I did like him for the longest time before Maya, and I really did wish he could fill the void Maya has left.

But it's wrong, my conscious speaks.

But his body feels so right, the devil tempts, And you'll be able to get over Maya more easily.

"Okay. I give you another chance. But you cheat again or upset me immensely in any way and we're over. And we won't be getting back together again."