Kryptonite ;One Direction;

Chapter Thirty-Seven: My Reasons

Harry's Point Of View

“Get in,” I barked at the boys as we finally got to my car. Niall looked over at me, his face full of confusion. “I just want to go home.” I sighed, knowing I shouldn’t yell at them. Ever since I pinned Chris against the lockers, I regretted my actions. I can’t get her out of my head. It’s like everything reminds me of her. Blonde hair especially- and there were way too many blondes in this fucking school. Every corner I turned, I’d think of her and miss her. Never in my life would I think I could actually miss Chrissy. I used to think of her as jut someone I could be best friends with but everything has obviously changed.

The car ride was silent, almost too silent. I’m sure anger was rolling off of me in major waves. We finally got the hotel in record time, parking in the same spot we always did and sneaking through the back. No one spoke until we got in the elevator, a place I was never fond of. I still can’t believe I kissed her that night. Why did I though? I keep telling myself it was because the paparazzi was watching us and we needed to prove that we were a solid couple. How come I felt so many sparks? Kissing her was way different than when I kissed Elizabeth. Elizabeth's lips, from what I remember, where just... there. Chris's lips where alive and energized, eager to meet mine. 

“Harry,” Zayn finally said as I glanced up from my phone. I had it out only to seem like I was busy. My plan had failed, trying to stay focused on something from their questioning expressions. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I huffed and looked at the elevator floors we were climbing. We finally reached our floor and I nearly bolted out of the lift. I was in our room in a second, grabbing Louis off the couch by his collar and dragging him to my room.

“Ow-Ow-Ow!” Louis repeated until I finally closed the door and shoved him away. “What the fuck, Haz?”

“She fucking likes me, boo-bear,” I said frustrated. “What the fuck am I supposed to do?” 

“Who, Chris?” Louis said as he finally took a seat on the bed. But not just any side, her side. I didn’t dare touch that side if I couldn’t help it. Sometimes when I woke up in the middle of the night, I’d find my arm reaching out for her but she wasn’t ever there. My heart longed for her again. I wanted to hold her and hear her soft snore, which always brought a smile to my tired face.

“Who else do you think I’m talking about?” I finally snapped. “Louis, I can’t get her out of my head. Being around her is such a fucking pain because she’s mad about me kissing her but earlier today she was telling you that she likes me. I hate doing this to her, man. And it’s only going to get worse because Elizabeth is coming down next week. Louis, what do I do? I can’t break up with Elizabeth. I love her so much.” My hands wiped my eyes, which now had tears springing to them. I can’t do this. I’m tired of having my feelings torn between the two. I regret ever doing anything with Chris. She doesn’t deserve any of this. “I’m such an asshole to Chris and I don’t know why. I don’t know how to fix it Louis, I just don’t know-” As my voice cracked, Louis got up from the bed and pulled me into a hug. I just started to cry harder a I squeezed my eyes shut, the tears pouring down regardless of how hard I fought to keep them from falling..

Who would have ever thought Harry Styles would be crying over Christina Green? From the start, I told myself not to get attached. I didn’t mean for it to happen but it did. It just did. Louis patted my back as he tried to quiet me down.

“Shh, Harry, it’s okay.” Louis cooed softly. "You’ll figure it out, I promise. Just calm down and apologize to Chris. She may not be your actual girlfriend but she does have feelings too. You can’t just play with her like a toy then toss her aside until you’re bored again. She is a girl, despite how much of a boy she can be. I can tell that you're having a problem between seperating your feelings with Chris and Elizabeth. As much as I want you with one more so than the other, I think you should think about it before making a decision. And if you do happen to choose Chrissy before it's time for Elizabeth to come into town, I'd let her down easy. But don't let her come all the way out here only to get her heart broken in two.” Louis gave me a squeeze before pulling away so he could see my tear stricken face. “Chrissy on the hand is a different story... If you choose Elizabeth, you better not be an asshole to Chris. You can still be friends afterwards... Infact... She’s on her way now.”

“When?” My eyes widened, just a few more tears slipping out. Shit, shit, shit. I look like such a pansy right now. I only ever cried in front of Louis. I mean, I hardly ever cried but when I did it was always with Louis. 

“She might be here already. Just go freshen up, okay? And remember, you don't have to make your decision right away.” Louis patted my cheek before pulling me in for one last hug. “Oh, and mate?”

“Yea?”

“Thanks for telling me about the kiss.” He let out a laugh as he pulled away. “How was it?”

“It was...” Incredible, spectacular, out of this world. I never wanted it to end. I would’ve been happy just laying in bed and kissing her, not even going farther then that. “Alright, I guess.” Louis shot me a look that told me he didn’t believe me. I tried to hide my smile as I walked to my bathroom. I closed the door and ran cold water on my face. I shook my hair out and fixed it as I looked at my reflection. My eyes were slightly red. Huffing, I walked back out. I planned on changing into sweats but froze when I saw her on my bed. Louis really did work fast. I swallowed as she looked over. “H-Hi,” I breathed out. What was wrong with me? One second I was pissed at her and ignoring her, and the next I wanted nothing more then to grab her and pin her down on the bed. The desire to kiss her had grown since earlier when I pinned her to the lockers. 

“Hey,” she said quietly. It had to take all my will power to not get lost in those beautiful blue eyes. I took a step closer, wanting to go sit next to her, but stopped. 

“So...”

“So? Louis said you wanted to talk.” I just nodded, trying to figure out how to string words together. “Well?” Her voice wasn’t harsh, just quiet and hesitant. I frowned and looked up at her before taking another small step. I stopped myself and shoved my hands in my pockets, not trusting myself enough to sit too close.

“I...” My chest raised and fell a couple of times before I finally spoke again. “I’m sorry. For everything.” 

“It’s fine,” she looked away from me and down at her hands. I sighed quietly before sitting next to her, keeping my hands to myself. 

“No it’s not. I know that you...” Like me because I really like you back but you don't know that and I have no idea how to get you to understand it without me full out saying it. If I full out say it, I'm afraid you'll change your mind jut like everyone ele. “It’s not fair of me to do this to you and I apologize for my actions. I’m sorry for being so confusing this past week for kissing you and then flipping out on you. I just. I can’t choose, okay? Not right now.”

“I understand.” 

“Penny for your thoughts?” I looked over and couldn’t stop myself from taking my hand out of my pocket, reaching up and brushing a fly away hair from her beautiful face.

“Why are you acting so weird?”

“Because I feel so terrible for doing this to you. I know I’ve been a little hot and cold, but I promise from here on out, it’ll get better.” I looked over at her, letting a smile appear on my lips. God, I could just lean over and kiss her. She was so close, it sucked how I couldn’t reach over and...

“Apology accepted,” Chrissy said after a moment. I couldn’t stop myself from getting up and hip thrusting. Chrissy’s laugh filled my ears as a smile popped onto my lips. I turned around and grabbed her hand, pulling her up and close. “What do you think you’re doing, freak?” Her white teeth twinkled at me, laughing more.

“Dancing with you.” Spinning her before pulling her close again, letting my forehead rest on hers, bending slightly so I could see into those beautiful eyes. She said nothing but smiled and closed her eyes, her hands coming up and resting on my chest. I was tempted to lean in and give her a soft peck- just one wouldn’t hurt, right?

“Going out to dinner! Come on!” Louis stormed in before realizing our position. “I thought you two would be at each other’s throats... Come on, lovebirds,” Louis smiled at Chris, before winking at me. 

I mouthed ‘thank you’, to him as he left he room. I pulled away from Chris, grabbing her warm hand. I didn't interlock out fingers, just gave her a tiny squeeze. Baby steps, Harry. Baby steps. “Shall we?”

“We shall.”

We. I like the sound of her and I.