DESTINED, jasper hale [book 01] ✓

vii. why was it me?

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𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐃

❀ 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯: 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘪𝘵 𝘮𝘦?

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𝐤𝐚𝐲𝐚 𝐬𝐚𝐥𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐞

     ALL KAYA CAN THINK about is the pain in Jasper's eyes, and it makes her sick just knowing that he has no choice but to feel the pain and suffering of each and every individual that dies around him. Kaya cannot imagine what it must be like to be him, and she wishes that she could — just for a while — be in his shoes and save him from the pain around him. Forcing herself to not look at the body, Kaya pulls Jasper into a hug and holds his almost limp body tightly. Slowly, his arms lift up to wrap themselves around her middle, holding her against him.

     "I wish you didn't have to feel everything — even if it's just for a day," she murmurs. "I wish I could take it away from you so you could live without feeling everything — even if it's just for a day."

     Jasper sighs, tightening his hold on her. "Even if you had the ability to take mine away, I would not want you to. I fear that it would destroy you, darlin'."

     "I wouldn't mind."

     "Kaya..."

     At the sound of her name leaving his lips, Kaya forces herself out of his arms and stands, staring down into his ruby red eyes. Giving him a small smile, she brushes his honey blond hair from where it has moved onto his face, and a tingling sensation sparks along her arm. Freezing as Jasper's eyes widen, her arm falls limp by her side and her head begins to feel light. Closing her eyes, Kaya steps away from Jasper and the dead boy as a wave of concern and fright washes over her.

     Opening her eyes and meeting Jasper's, a smile gracing her lips once again as she feels confusion batter against her being — Jasper's confusion. It takes him a moment, but when he figures it out, he climbs to his feet and looks at her with awe, as well as her feeling his disbelief and wonder washing over her. His red eyes search her face and a hesitant smile grows on his face, not sure whether Kaya's ability is a blessing or a curse.

     "I can't feel your emotions," Jasper muses, brushing his fingers against her hand. "It feels strange. Can you feel mine?"

     Closing her eyes, Kaya focuses on separating her own emotions from Jasper's. "Yes. I can feel everything you feel, and it's beautiful."

     "What do you feel?"

     "Confusion. Awe. Infatuation. Disbelief. Wonder. Adoration. Love." A frown makes its way onto her face at the sudden shift in his emotions. "Guilt. Betrayal. Hatred. Disgust. Fear. Insanity. Hunger. Envy. Hurt. Regret. Distrust. Thirst. Pain. Strife. Death."

     Kaya's eyes fly open and she sucks in a sharp breath that she doesn't need, falling back onto the log she was previously sitting on. Jasper's eyes widen and his worry stings like ice water as he sits down beside her, his hand holding hers tightly. Even though she has no need to breathe, Kaya starts to do so raggedly; uneven and sharp. His emotions are overwhelming, and she can feel everything he's felt past and present. Right now, his guilt is surfacing at allowing himself to be so blind as to not have realised that Kaya also has an ability.

     Her body begins to shake, fear taking precedence over every other emotion within her — Jasper's included, but his fear could be mingling with Kaya's and creating a dangerous beast unable to be tamed. Squeezing her eyes shut, Kaya bends over and raises her hands to hold her head, wordless pleas leaving her lips in sharp breaths. Jasper's hands cover hers and the sensation from before sparks in her arms, body freezing for a second before she seemingly becomes boneless and collapses into Jasper's arms.

     Jasper sucks in a sharp breath and his arms land on Kaya's back, holding her trembling body against his marble torso. "You alright, darlin'?"

     Kaya shakily nods head. "Yes. I am fine. I just wasn't expecting it to be that...overwhelming, is all."

     "You should not have done that."

     "I didn't mean to. I didn't even know I could do that. I just felt the urge to...do something."

     "Well, considering that we now know what you can do, we have to see if there's anything else you can do with it."

     Kaya pulls away from him and give him a disbelieving look. "I can take another vampire's powers. Is that not enough?"

     Jasper smiles lightly. "When I found out what I could do, I could only feel people's emotions, but I discovered that I can also influence emotions as well."

     "What are you saying, Jasper?"

     "I am saying that you may be able to take more than just their powers, or you may even be able to merely share their powers instead of fully taking them."

     Shaking my head, Kaya stands and walks away from Jasper, much to his obvious distress. The cool air of the night makes her shiver lightly, but it's a better alternative than facing the hopeful eyes of Jasper. There's nothing she can do in a war-torn country like this, and there's nothing she can do to stop this inevitable cycle of death and rebirth. Vampire armies are continuous, and there is no escaping the bloodshed in this world.

     In this world of pain, there's no escaping the loss of someone you love — or even feeling the satisfaction, yet regret, of someone you despise. The feeling of losing someone is devastation, a word that is commonly associated with the destruction left in the wake of a disaster. Whilst that may be correct, physical devastation is not the same animal as emotional or psychological devastation. That kind of devastation will leave scars on the soul and on the heart, and it will tear even the most tight-knit people apart under the most dire and extreme of circumstances.

     In this world where there are many people to choose from, Kaya was the one who ended up in that alley all those years ago; Kaya was the one that Jasper and Maria ended up saving; Kaya was forced to leave her daughter behind in order to protect her. Why was it her? Was she chosen for this? This being she has become has twisted Kaya's morals and made her begin to see the world under a different lens — a lens where destruction and murder is the way of life.

     Then again, it may be a good thing. Kaya is a vampire, and murder is a part of her life whether she likes it or not. She may as well just accept it and live her life — well, her un-life — as best she can without mortal limitations. This ability she has may just allow her to do that, and whatever remaining time she has left on this earth can be spent enjoying what she is rather than wallowing in a time gone by that she can no longer return to.