Finding My Lost Self [to be edited]

Chapter 28 - He was an onion.

Chap. 28

 

I took another sip of my coffee as I stared at the text that was in front of me. After I had called Jason and spent about ten minutes convincing him that I didn't want to flirt with Luke through his phone number -which I had found quite disgusting, by the way- I managed to convince slash blackmail him into texting me Luke's phone number.


And here I was, staring at the text like someone who had just gotten a text from a zombie that hadn't had a bath in about two centuries.


I took a deep breath as the internal battle that was going on in my mind. Do I call him? Do I text him? Did I even have to do anything at all? What if I just decided to do that project on my own?


Or maybe I could just not do it at all... You know, teachers always say that 'most of our grades would be given for those projects. But the truth is that projects are only like 30% of the overall of the marks.


Yeah, exams were more important. What if I just threw away 30% of my grades away in my senior year?


Yeah, nothing would happen. You would just fail and no college would accept you, honey! My subconscious snapped at me. I groaned inwardly.


I didn't want to fail. That was it. I didn't even want to get a B in this. Science was my favorite subject. I wouldn't just throw away 30% of my grades in Biology. And my stupid inner nerd knows it.


And no, I was not a nerd. That would be awkward considering how I denied I was one on the first day of school when Jason wanted me to be his nerd or whatever he did to those poor guys. But no. I wasn't a nerd.


I just had an inner nerd. I mean, there's this small part of you that's so scared of losing any grades or failing. This is the inner nerds. We're all nerds at heart, aren't we? Like who the hell would like to fail their senior year?!


Yeah, I thought so, too.


Cursing th fact that I had to do this, and that Luke had to be my partner, I picked up my phone hesitantly. I looked at the phone for a few seconds before I pressed on the number.


I stared at my phone as the dialing appeared. When I heard a couple of rings, I pressed the phone to my ear. I was so nervous.


What would he say about me randomly calling him to talk about school work? People like those hated school work... Right? Would he tell me to eat a potato and just sod off? Would he tell me that I would just have to do all the project on my own?


To be honest, when you think about it a little bit, I didn't care. I would punch him if he was ever too rude to me. I used to beat them all up in middle school, after all?


Calm down, Sam. What did we say about being a girl? What about all the shit you went through? What about the make over Elena and you did?


I could hear my subconscious trying to reason with me. But at the moment, it only made me angrier. It brought out all the worst things I've ever done in my life. I regretted doing all these. I was still being judged. And my life is even more miserable now.


And Elena, Elena and her stupid make over. I regretted everything about it. I'm glad that the hair cut I got that day had gone away. And I was glad when I threw away all the heels and the weird stuff she got me to wear.


Although I kept a lot of these clothes, I had thrown away all the ones that made me feel uncomfortable. As good as any one would think they looked, I wasn't ready to throw away my comfort for some clothes.


I ran a hand through my tangled hair as I waited for him to answer. four rings later, he picked up.


"Um, hello?" I said nervously. I could feel my hands sweating. This was the first time I've ever called someone who was practically a stranger.


"Who's that?" A male's voice drawled. I assumed that it was Luke.


"Hey... Um, I am Samantha. Samantha Walter; We're partners for some Biology project," I said uneasily. How awkward was that? Telling someone you're their partner for a project as if they did not already know.


Way to go, Sam. You were as smooth as sand paper back there.


I sighed in frustration. I was about to just hang up then run for the rest of my life when I heard him replying.


"Oh, bet girl!! How are you doing?" He said.


It felt a bit weird. He was talking to me almost as if we were friends. And what did he just call me? Bet girl? Did that even make sense?


I assumed that he was just high or drunk or something. No sane person would do such no sense when they're in their right mind.


"Uh, I guess I'll just hang up now..." I trailed off but he stopped me.


"No, no. What did you want?" He asked. I could tell he was curious.


"I wanted to talk about the project," I stated simply.


"Oh," He just said. I heard a few banging noises in the background then a loud scream of "Ow!!"


"Uh..." I trailed off to see if he was still there.


"Huh, sorry I tripped," He said.


"So, you want to meet somewhere or what?" I asked nervously.


"Can you come over? I'm kind of busy right now and I can't go out," he said then I hear a few more noises. As if he was struggling with something.


"But-" I started but he cut me off immediately.


"Okay, great, then I'll be waiting! you know the address, right? Don't forget to bring pencils or whatever people use for projects, bye." He said quickly then hung up in my face. It was as if a train had been chasing him to hang up on me.


I stood there completely dumbfounded. I looked down at the phone in my hand then stared back into thin air.


What the fucking fuck?


Who did this guy think he was, seriously? My best friend? I couldn't just "come over" as if it was the most normal thing ever!!


But nooo... He had to just act as if he was expecting me, now.


I groaned when I saw that no more Oreo's were left. I had eaten them all before the call. Awesome. Now I had to buy some on my way home and just-


What? No. When the heck did I even say I was going to just 'buy some on my way home'? Really? I wasn't even going to go out for that matter!!


Or was I....


Alright, alright. I had to go. If I didn't need to fail, I had to go and sort out this project shit.


Damn you, inner nerd.


And damn whoever said that we're all nerds at heart. 'Cause that's freaking true.


I walked upstairs into my room to get changed as I mumbled random stuff about how stupid I must be for making this decision.