World's Apart

The Long Night

The days rolled into weeks which eventually rolled into months. Time, the enigmatic mystery that it was, had eluded her for long enough and eventually September was here. The days grew short and the long nights held strong like an unshakeable army. 

These days Ali found herself leaving the warmth and safety of their London home less and less. Much to her annoyance James had pleaded with her to leave work and rest during the few final weeks of her pregnancy. After much coercion and convincing on James' part, Ali reluctantly agreed and now her short dark days were consumed by her wandering mind.

She knew she ought to be finalising the last few things for the baby. James had bought so much for the little one, no expense had been spared. The nursery was now complete. A dark and elegant mahogany crib held the centre position in the room, resting against the chimney breast. In the alcoves either side, a matching set of dark wood drawers and a wardrobe which was full of small and beautiful clothes. The tall walls were painted white and contrasted against the dark wooden furniture. A large heavy rug was laid across the floor adding warmth to the room. Pictures of Teddy bears, rocking horses and other children's toys adorned the walls in brightly coloured frames. The nursery also contained a beautiful rocking chair with a cushion and beside it was a small book case stacked with children's books and wonderful illustrations. Whenever she went upstairs Ali often found herself wandering about the room. So much love had gone into this room, James had decorated it all himself.

Guilt clenched at Ali' chest whenever she thought about the baby and about James. She knew they should be her main focus right now, after all the baby would be here in a handful of short weeks. Ali did think of them, she loved James and she longed to meet the baby, what would they look like? What would they name the child? So many questions... But mostly she thought about him.

Jack was never far from her mind. Before, he would come and go in her thoughts like a passing train. Sometimes the train would whiz by the station but other times, it lingered and waited. These days the train never seemed to leave the station and Ali found herself in a permanent state of longing.

It'd been three months. Three long months since he'd gone. Three long months since she'd visited Uxbridge. Three long months since Erica had confessed everything to her. That day replayed over and over again in her mind. It left her with so many questions, so many 'what ifs' or 'could be's'.

She had analysed her questions and feelings over the last few months and eventually she had boiled everything down into three simple facts.
1. Jack didn't sleep with Erica
2. Ali's baby was Jacks
3. Ali was irrationally and unapologetically in love with Jack.

When she considered it like this, things didn't seem so complicated at all, but reality was never simple and each fact had a perfectly valid counter argument conjured up simultaneously.
1. He didn't sleep with her but, Jack kissed Erica and quite possibly started to love her
2. He doesn't know the baby is his and probably never will
3. She loved James also. At first she thought her love was just martial duty and her gratitude towards him. But as time has passed, her love for James grew true and deep. He was kind and loving, he was good to all and more importantly he was her husband.

For weeks now these 'simple facts' had been running circles in her mind... Round and round and round they go, with no signs of stopping. It was dizzying and tiring but after everything there was one fact that surpassed all others, one fact that mattered most.

Jack was gone.

"My love, come away from the window," his sweet voice snapped her out of her trance. Her fixed gaze tore away from the black night that lay before her and she turned towards James sitting on the brown leather Chesterfield sofa. The warm glow from the fire caressed his face making him look even more beautiful.