The whims of her bewildered heart.

Chapter four

Aisha's p.o.v

I groaned in my phone as I turned in bed while talking to ilham who was gushing about her future husband.

"I want holidays to end already!" I exclaimed breaking ilham from her talk.

"It just started" ilham stated.

"I know but it's so boring! Three freaking days! Oh no wait Four freaking days I did nothing but Netflix pray eat repeat! When summer ends I'm gonna be looking like a potato!" I complained.

"A cute potato then you would be" replied Ilham.

"And I'm I suppose to blush at that?" I asked dryly.

"If you were into girls and complements like that melt you then yes" she retorted.

"Well in that case even if I was I wouldn't be into you and your cheesy complements" I replied.

"Well sweetie complements are meant to be cheesy" she said.

"Well with that cheese of yours I rather you make pizza out of it" I said and she laughed.

"Anyways why I called you was..." but before she could continue I cut her off

"You called me to gush about this fiancé of yours that I already wish to strangle to death because of you" I said and we faked a gasp.

"You wish to make this sister a widow even before she's a wife?" She asked dramatically.

"Oh honey I would never do that to you!" I shrieked.

"Ugh enough of this nonsense. My parents are hosting a dinner on Saturday as a pre wedding dash" she said and I groaned.

"Does that mean..." I stop and ilham continues it for me.

"A party. yes sweetie yes" she replied.

"Ugh" I groaned and buried my face in the pillow. Don't get me wrong as a girl I like dressing up but not attending parties. I had no clue but I always found it uncomfortable to attend a part that wasn't hosted by my family and then came the desi aunties who would set you up with guys.

"So imad is going to be there ehh?" I teased and she replied with a 'hmm'

"Are you coming to the masjid?" She asked me.

" I was thinking of coming. What better work do I have" I replied.

"Alright then I'll meet you at the masjid In Shaa Allah. Assalamu Alaikum" ilham greeted. I replied to her and then hung up.

Sighing I stare at the ceiling playing with my hair. Funny how life is, almost all your life your parents bring you up and fulfill your needs even before you knew you needed them and then suddenly comes a guy and he becomes everything to her, her light, her darkness and her muse. The parents are still there but not all heart. I wondered how can a woman go like that leaving the ones who gave birth to her and brought her up, fed her, clothe her and then a guy comes and sweeps off her feet and all that matters is him. This made me wonder what I would do if I found my love before it deepened I shook the thought out of my head and left to get dressed.

I dressed into a beige abaya paired it with a black coat and a black hijab. I applied my moisturizer and lip balm. I carried my shoes in one hand and my bag in the other as I left to mums room to inform her I'm leaving.

"Mum I'm going to the masjid" I called out as I entered. Mum was reciting, she looked up from her book and nodded.

"Be careful. Fee Aman-illah" she replied.

I sat on the living room and put on my shoes, took one look of myself in the mirror and then left to the masjid.

"Assalamu Alaikum" ilham exclaimed and pulled me into a bone crushing hug.

"Walaikum Salam warahmathullahi wabarakathuhu" I replied laughing.

We walked into the masjid together and sat for the lecture that was happening. To say the lecture was amazing would be understating for it was more than that. The topic was about the love of allah. And it was honestly completely utterly beautiful. The imaam spoke about the loss of a loved one and coping up with that with the love of allah. And so on I honestly wished it won't end for the words the he uttered calmed my heart and increased my love for my god.

"It was beautiful" I stated as I put on my shoes.

"Indeed it was" ilham agreed. "An imaan booster for sure"

"That's once reason I like coming to lectures like this. The act as our Imam booster and boosts it up. Just as how a phone could be charged these Islamic talks charge my Iman" I said linking my arms with her.

"True. He couldn't have worded what he worded in any another way than this. So simple but yet so beautiful" she sighed and I nodded.

"I really loved the part he addressed the widows" I mumbled and ilham nodded in agreement.

Dear brothers and sisters who are widowed listen,

I know, I know it's hard. It's like living your self lifeless. Everything reminds you of them. And it hurts and I know. The pain that a widow feels is a pain like no other. You giver yourself for your spouse. Your heart, your soul is all in their hands. And when I say this I mean very metaphorically in terms of your love for them for of course indeed our heart and soul is in the hands of allah. You love them with all your heart for the sake of him and give your best to them. Your duty towards them you accomplish and treat them better than how you treat yourself. Spouses are a part of you that was returned and I know how it hurts when a puzzle has been fixed but the main part is snatched again. But my dear brothers and sisters be patient. Ask allah to unite your souls in Jannah the eternal home. Make dua for them and busy yourself in the work of allah and he will mend your heart and keep you strong until you meet the again. Patience my dear sisters and brothers for indeed with patience is s beautiful outcome.

Those were the words he uttered and it made a impact on my heart. It was true. Indeed with patience is a beautiful outcome.

Walking with ilham with my arms linked we both were in our train of thought at that moment. I took the opportunity to ask Allah; 'oh Allah make me among those who are patience.' And may allah make you among them too! Ameen.