The whims of her bewildered heart.

Chapter twenty one

"I'm fine mum please! I can't eat more than this" I whined as I saw the smelly soup in front of me.

"Ayesha, don't test me" Mum replied her voice stern and I made a face.

"Pleaseee" I made a face.

"Not until you finish this" she replied and the I drank it complaining time to time though mum payed no heed.

It has been almost a week, seven days since the incident happened. And when I woke up after almost five days i was met with a furious Amir who yelled at me.

He still hasn't spoke to me after getting the reason as to why I consumed sleeping pills.

"I couldn't sleep! I felt afraid and uneasy every night." I yelled at him as he screamed.

"So you could have informed us! Why the freaking pills?" He asked.

"Because I didn't want to be a burden! I can't. So I took the pills to make it better" I said lowly.

"Did it?" He asked his voice low.

"Yes" I replied, "but in turn I couldn't eat and I felt nauseous all the time so I consumed the burfen" I spoke.

"Thank god! Than allah! That imran was there that time or you would have been dead on the streets!" He then said and with that he left the room and shut the door with a slam.

Ever since that he comes to see me when He thinks I'm a sleep and leaves before I could 'wake up'.

Sara came with an worried Hamza who kept kissing me and asking me to feel better because he misses me.

"That's it" I breathed and the next second I turned and grabbed the closet bucket and threw up.

Mum immediately stood up and rubbed my back and the nurse rushed in.

"Are you okay?" She asked and I nodded wiping my mouth with a tissue that mum handed.

She checked my pulse and other machines and left asking me to call her if I felt any thing other than normal.

Just then ilham barged in, her eyes furious and yet worried.

"You piece of trash! Do you know how worried I was monkey!" She exclaimed and crushed me into a hug.

"I was afraid I lost you!" She breathed.

"Not gonna leave you easily" I replied kissing her cheek.

She rolled her eyes and sat on my bed holding my hands on hers. I could see the tears brimming her eyes and I groaned.

"I'm alive, stop crying" I spoke and pulled her into another hug.

"You're such a pain the neck!" She sobbed.

"If it wasn't for imran! Thank Allah"she said and I felt sparks on my body.

"I know" I whispered playing with my dress.

"Ilham, can you be here till I go home and shower?" Mum questioned and ilham agreed.

"Great! Thanks love! I'll be back in an hour" she said and kissed me on my forehead before walking out.

"Where's my phone?" I asked suddenly realizing that none of my belongings were with me.

"I think it's still with imran, he answered that night when I called" she replied.

And I remembered how he kept reciting and blowing over me as they got me into the stretcher of the hospital when he thought I was passed out but yet I could hear but not move.

My heart fluttered at the thought and ilham smiled.

"He was tensed, he came over three days back when I was here with his mum. He kept glancing towards your room" Ilham said teasingly.

"Hmm" I replied as my heart beat accelerated.

"But How did he find you?" She questioned clearly curious. "Sara told me that he had some sort of work there and he saw you but I kinda don't believe that."

"I took Hamza with me to crosstown and he came to pick him up, he offered me a ride and I rejected. So then he drove away and then after some time when i was in pain I saw him again" I said.

"He came to check on you because it's soo obvious that you cannot get a taxi there at that time" Ilham replied.

"Dum! You should have just taken his ride and got home instead of crying in the streets only to eventually get him ride you to the hospital" she then said. "Which makes me wonder? Did you like touch him or he did. I know it was a time when touching is allowed but out of curiosity" she asked cheekily and I rolled my eyes.

"He had to hold me by my shoulders to steady me and help me walk" I whispered. "But not in such a way that would have been unnecessary"

"You Like him still" Ilham said after a few minutes of silenced.

I shook my head furiously. 'You do' my mind whispered but I glared at her.

"Don't pretend I know you do" Ilham replied rolling her eyes.

"No! I don't" I exclaimed.

"Then why do your eyes shine when you speak about him? Why did you have smile when I spoke about him?" She asked with raised eyebrows.

"Because that was thoughtful!" I retorted. But she snorted.

"Seriously? Ayesha you're like an open book to me, I know it" she replied flicking her nails.

"Whatever" I responed my heart hammering in my chest.

"So tell my, if you don't like him why does your heart beat so fast that I can hear it?" She asked with a smirk.

"No you can't!" I exclaimed with my hands on my chest.

"I can!" She replied.

"It's not even beating that fast" I commented.

Ilham put her hands over my heart gasped.

"God it's beating like you ran a marathon" she grinned. "A marathon of fantasy with imran" she teased and I rolled my eyes.

Later after she had left and it was time for me to sleep my mind wandered to what we spoke and I turned in that small bed unable to sleep.

Do I?

Do I really still like him?

My thoughts wandered to how he had helped me and his presence had calmed me instantly and I forgot the pain when I saw him.

How as my hands reached his sleeved I felt relieved he was there next to me and it was no one else.

His concerned eyes flashed in my mind, how he was agitated and slamming his hands the more time it got for him to reach the hospital. Pushing the thoughts off I closed my eyes allowing sleep to consume me.