Haikyuu x Reader Oneshots

Iwaizumi Hajime: Not Iwa-chan

Summary: Fluffy Crack

• Being with Hajime means forming a friendship with Oikawa, but your partner soon regrets that decision.

Warnings: Post time skip spoilers.

>>>>----------------><----------------<<<<

"You traitor!"

Iwaizumi released a heavy sigh, though being adapted to the most annoying of antics courtesy of his childhood friend Oikawa - he still lacked a tolerance for it, especially considering the Japan Olympic Team were supposedly 'adults'.

"What do you mean Hinata?" The trainer deadpan questioned, folding his arms and raising a suspicious brow at the dynamic duo he'd frequently faced during his third year of High School.

Kageyama immediately held up a sheet of Olympic paperwork, aggressively pointing to the Argentina's' Volleyball Team information - more specifically to the line reciting 'Japanese Representative Health Instructor: Iwaizumi-san'.

Hajime squinted at the official parchment, a crafty smirk adorning him lips upon realising the significance of it that eluded the players.

"It's a mistake right?" Atsumu piped up, having overheard the conversation and being present for the sheer wave of confusion that had recently flooded the changing room as they prepared for their morning training session.

"No, it's perfectly accurate."

You could call him mildly sadistic for relishing in the mortified yelps of his Team whilst offering no further explanation, Oikawa would certainly vouch for that claim based on their characteristic interactions.

———
Meanwhile In Argentina...

It was late evening by the time you'd arrived at the Argentina Volleyball Team gymnasium, presuming the players would've already finished their practice for the day and you'd be introduced to them tomorrow to begin collaborating up until the Tokyo Olympics in a months time. You'd just dropped off some of your work belongings prior to leaving for your temporary accommodation until you were abruptly interrupted.

"Iwa-chan! I missed you so -"

Startled, you swished around to meet the familiar cheerful tone - this time enthused with genuine happiness before he cut himself off with an incredulous expression.

"..."

A staring contest seemed to ensue, to two of you remaining unmoving as the apparent player internally calculated his unprecedented mistake.

"...Hey... Tōru." You offered a meek wave, the whiplash of unconditional joy to sheer disappointment in his demeanour upon recognition had diminished your confidence considerably.

"You're not Iwa-chan." It was bluntly dissatisfied, the Setter eyeing you up and down with furrowed brows and a twinge of sorrow.

Ah, that's why.

"I mean... technically I am?" You awkwardly corrected, holding up your left hand as evidence - the wedding band reflecting the light as you tilted your knuckles toward him.

A wistful smile overtook you and the understanding look in your eyes emphasised the soft tone of your continuation. "I'm just not your Iwa-chan."

Oikawa relaxed the tension in his shoulders, a sympathetic smile gracing his lips as he uncrossed his arms to warmly beckon you in for a welcoming hug which you gleefully accepted.

"Heh, not my Iwa-chan but I get the privilege of seeing the one he loves most. I missed you too (Y/n)-chan, forgive my initial greeting." Was his bemused apology, still the absence of Hajime remained painful but he loved you too - he'd been the best man at your wedding when (L/n) (Y/n) became Iwaizumi (Y/n) after-all and video called the two of you more often than not. So, he concluded that one Iwaizumi was better than none.

"It's fine Tōru, but Hajime said he'd told you I was coming."

"Eh? He made it seem like he was visiting, that's why I was so excited." Each of you exchanged puzzled glances, Oikawa taking the initiative to whip out his phone and scroll to the desired text exchange to compensate for his misinterpretation.

[ Crappykawa: IWAIZUMI!! You're coming to ARGENTINA?! ]

[ Iwa-chan: It specifically says Iwaizumi is coming to assist you doesn't it? ]

[ Crappykawa: I had to make sure since someone didn't tell me! 😭 ]

[ Iwa-chan: You can see why dumbass. ]

Again, you rolled your eyes once reading the signature interactions and imagined your mischievous husband smirking to himself at playing Oikawa so effortlessly simply by telling the truth - no doubt he'd be cackling at Tōrus reaction when you update him later.
The Setter seemed to come to the same realisation, the both of you simultaneously meeting each other's darkening irises with mirroring expressions similar to that of a supervillain about to hatch a diabolical plan.

———
Back in Japan...

Iwaizumi had just finished with the Team warm ups, adamantly dodging the subtle inquiries from the players with equally ambiguous answers - they didn't need to know you were the one over in Argentina, he was too amused by their attempts to reveal that fact. Although, most were observant enough to notice you must be absent as it was evident in his behaviours that he missed your presence dearly. At least, until the vibration of his phone cut his thoughts short - a rhythm specific to that of his former Captain.

With a skeptical brow, he opened the message but rather expected one from you to detail Oikawas amusing reaction to his prolonged ploy, though what he found was the opposite.

A selfie depicted Oikawa sticking his tongue out alongside you, Tōru winking with your wedding band posed on his ring finger (even though it didn't fit properly) as you issued a middle finger and kiss to his cheek. The caption reading - 'My new favourite Iwaizumi ♥️'.

If you were both within his proximity, he'd likely display his falsified aggravation by aiming a ball at Oikawa and throwing you over his shoulder - but since you were halfway across the world, he could let his true feelings show with a soft smile of admiration gracing his lips and gentle chuckle reverberating in his chest. You'd bare witness to such intimate moments regularly, and seeing your playful nature made him miss you even more. His reply to your joint antics however, would not be so heart-warming.

———
Back in Argentina...

You both eagerly awaited his response whilst at the dinner table, Tōru opting to treat you to the best restaurant he knew as a welcome gift for your trip and only regretful neither of you could see his face in person. You'd brainstormed that he'd be irritated, maybe a tick appearing on his forehead and Tōru likely facing the brunt of his wrath but it was all light-hearted quips. It only took a few minutes, Oikawa quickly gaining your full attention so you could read his snarky response together.

[ Iwa-chan: I'm divorcing both of you. ]

A substantial pause...

[ Iwa-chan: ♥️ ]

You proudly smirked at one another, a victorious high five echoing throughout the establishment with your meals now arriving at the table.

>>>>----------------><----------------<<<<