Halfway to the Moon

Clinging to Sunrise

Hey guys! Author here (name's Rebekah, btw). I just wanted to let you know that this chapter is going to be extra long! I usually split the chapters for Wattpad because I was told people on here generally prefer shorter chapters, but I just couldn't find a satisfying way to split this one.

Anyway, I hope you guys can all find some time to read and I hope you enjoy it! Let me know, I love to hear from all of you! And thank you for the kudos, it's truly appreciated!! 💛

Enjoy!
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  "Oi, Auntie, can I spend the night here?"
 
 The entire room had gone completely silent, everyone just staring at the blonde in shock. Auntie was the first to breach the quiet, her face breaking out into an expression of pure elation. She was beaming so wide it looked like it hurt.
 
 "Yes! Of course you can stay the night, Katsuki! Oh, this is so exciting, you haven't stayed over since you were both tiny!" Auntie continued to babble on about how wonderful it all was, clapping excitedly every once in a while, while everyone else stood there gaping at Katsuki like fish out of water. The Old Hag was the next one to speak up, clearing her throat and blinking rapidly as if to disperse the surprise and confusion.
 
 "Yeah, I guess that's fine, if it's alright with Izuku." She said, directing her gaze toward the green haired boy who'd been absently staring at Katsuki in bewilderment since the words left the blonde's mouth. The Old Hag's voice finally seemed to snap him out of it at least somewhat, though, making Deku tear his eyes away from Katsuki and focus on her instead.
 
 It took a moment longer for Deku to process what she'd said, and when he did, he simply nodded, slow and mechanic. Katsuki felt his eyebrow twitch- what the fuck was wrong with the damn nerd? He was acting like he'd just been told he just died or some shit.
 
 The blonde supposed it didn't really matter, though, because the nerd had said yes anyway.
 
 He'd be staying the night.

-

  "Oh, god…" Izuku groaned, face buried in his palms, "Kacchan is staying the night."
 
 Izuku was in the bathroom, leaning on the counter with his head in his hands. He'd retreated to its safety the second he'd gotten his bearings, needing some time to process whatever the hell just happened.
 
 "Why…?" He mumbled softly to himself, pushing up from the counter and bracing himself against the wall instead. "Why would Kacchan ask to spend the night? It doesn't make sense! He hates me! Maybe so he could spend time with Mom? No, that doesn't make sense… Kacchan doesn't like spending that much time around anyone , even people he likes. Maybe… he's doing this to spite me somehow? He could be trying to make me uncomfortable, perhaps collect blackmail… no, he wouldn't go that far…" Izuku rambled on, murmuring to himself all the possibilities. He probably sounded crazy to anyone that walked by, but he was too stuck in his head to care.
 
 Eventually, Izuku sagged against the wall, his brain having run out of steam from all the scenarios he thought up. No matter what he came up with, he just couldn't find an answer that was satisfying. He briefly thought that maybe he was growing on Kacchan, and that was why he'd wanted to stay, but he discarded that idea right away, throwing it in the metaphorical trash and burning it to a crisp with a metaphorical flame thrower. Even if it wasn't as far-fetched of an idea as it was, Izuku wouldn't have been able to make himself believe it- not with his father's words on loop, ringing in his head like a constant reminder that he was still a freak of nature.
 
 He tried not to let words like that affect him, tried to keep his head up high and lock the thoughts of self-hatred away as best as he could. He bottled everything up, thinking that maybe if he ignored it all it would eventually just go away. But it didn't. Instead, it just built up, putting the bottle under more and more pressure until eventually it started to crack and tear. It was only a matter of time before it exploded completely, but Izuku still couldn't bring himself to acknowledge it.
 
 Admitting that he wasn't okay felt like he was failing himself, somehow. It felt as though he was admitting defeat, allowing life to yank him down. He knew it was irrational, but in his head, he wasn't drowning until he said he was.
 
 Izuku looked up at his reflection and was startled to see the beginnings of tears in his eyes, making his emerald irises shine. He wiped them away quickly, only to notice his hands had started shaking. His heart beat like a sledgehammer in his chest and his breath shuttered and stalled.
 
 The panic hadn't engulfed him yet, he could think clearly and his lungs continued to pull oxygen in diligently, but he could feel it lurking around the corner, ready to pounce on him any second. When he got like this, usually only one thing helped.
 
 Izuku opened the cabinet doors below the sink and peered inside, eyes searching for the familiar black box that should be behind the main pipe.
 
 Then, Izuku's heart rate skyrocketed, a brief memory flashing behind his eyes.
 
  Once his arms were cleaned and bandaged, he'd slid the kit under his bed and tucked the razor back into its box. He then sat the razor on his bedside table, too tired to put it back in its place in the bathroom.
 
  I'll just put it back in the morning , he'd told himself.
 
 Oh god. He'd never put it back.
 
 A different kind of panic overtook Izuku as he sprung to his feet and ran out of the bathroom. He had to put that box up before somebody found it- before Kacchan found it. The blonde had no sense of privacy when it came to Izuku. He'd look at whatever he found interesting whether the greenette wanted him to or not.
 
 Izuku reached his room only to find the door had already been opened and his heart stopped. He neared the open entrance and pushed it open further, a lump in his throat.
 
 There, sitting on the carpeted floor of Izuku's room, with a black box crumpled in his hand and an array of shiny metal razor blades laid out before him, was one red eyed, volatile blonde.
 
 Abruptly, all of the fear, shame, and sadness drained out of him, leaving the green haired boy pale and frozen as his mind tried to catch up with the situation. Izuku gulped.
 
 What happened now?