Folie à Deux [Yandere Guardian x Abused Female Reader]

3. What's the Point?

Y/N lay stretched out on her single mattress in her small bedroom, listening to the dull sound of her mother arguing with the landlord and the soft hum of the ceiling fan. She stared up at the ceiling, trying to make out shapes in the cheap molding in the dim light. The blinds on her window were closed, keeping out the majority of the afternoon light.

She had been walled up in her room for the past couple of days, only leaving when she had to use the bathroom or get some water. She had taken time off work and called in sick for school, she didn't have the energy for it. She didn't have the energy to do anything, not even to eat. She just lay there in her dark room, wondering what the point of life was.

It didn't help that her mother neither noticed nor cared that Y/N had barely left her room in the past several days. She hadn't come to check on Y/N once, not that she was expecting her to, but it would have been nice. Y/N felt so incredibly alone. Aside from Sean, no one in the world cared about her or would even blink if she was gone, not even her own mother.

Far from it, her mother had made it a point to remind Y/N daily that she was just an accident and that if the man she had a one-night-stand with hadn't been able and gladly willing to pay child support she would have visited Planned Parenthood and never looked back.

Y/N knew that she was nothing more than a source of income for her mother, so that she didn't have to work and could still afford the apartment and her drugs, but that didn't make it hurt any less. Sometimes, especially when she was younger, Y/N would lay on her bed like she was at present and close her eyes imaging that she didn't live in that dingy apparent with a mom who was only bearable when she was high on something and that she lived in a clean house with a father who worked overseas and a mother who took care of the house and loved her.

To most, it would seem outdated or plain, but that dream was all Y/N wanted. She scoffed, she knew that it was all in her head, so what was the point. Who am I kidding, my life's always gonna suck - always has always will.

And to think that the one person who gave me some hope for a better future is dead Y/N though with a touch of bitterness. She wasn't sure how to feel. She had loved Sean, he was her best friend since middle school. He had even refused to go to the prestigious Marriot Private Academy that his dad wanted him to go to in favor of going to a dump of a public school just to stay with Y/N, so what had changed? Why did he leave her? Did he never want to be friends with her, to begin with?  I was stupid to think that anything good would stay in my life.

Maybe I should just hurry up and end it, she thought. She had thoughts like that cross her mind through the years but not ever as earnestly. No one would miss me... no one would even notice that I was gone.

No one... No one loves me... I'm all alone... Tears began to leave her eyes, rolling down the sides of her face as she stared up blankly at the ceiling fan, the yelling in the other room had stopped and the silence pressed in at her ears. The solitude was crushing her. Even when she tried being around other people, she still felt isolated, she convinced herself that none of them actually wanted to be around her.

Sean was the only one to break through her shell and connect with her. He was such a happy-go-lucky child, the exact opposite of her, he was always smiling. But he was gone. The joy he shared with her had gone with him. Why did he do it? The question played itself over and over again in Y/N's mind. Was I a burden? Why didn't he talk to me about it? Did he not trust me, even after all the things that I've shared with him?

In her numb and crushing despair, Y/N was thinking about killing herself, she couldn't think of any reasons to stay, then her mind recalled the image of Sean's father looking down at his son's grave, his face had been black but there was a crushing hollowness in his blue-graey eyes. No one else had seemed to notice it, but Y/N had.

Standing there, he looked like he was removed from the world. Looking back on it Y/N realized that he probably felt a similar kind of isolation. Sean had told her that his parents split when he was young, so that meant his dad was dealing with his grief alone.

The thought of that made Y/N's heart ache with empathy, she didn't want anyone else to feel as alone and despondent as she did. So, even though she didn't know him that well she decided that she wanted to do something to remind him that he wasn't alone in his grief. She sat up and wiped her tears away with a sniff.

She tried to think of something that she could do to show that he wasn't alone, she could offer to spend time with him, but that could be weird considering that they don't know each other. She could buy him something, but she didn't have much money, and had no idea what he would like. After much consideration, she finally decided that it would be best if she brought over a meal of some kind. Food always made her feel better at least.

Exiting her room, Y/N crept into the kitchen. She slightly relaxed when she saw her mom completely out of it on the couch, she didn't have to worry about being screamed at or worse. Opening the small fridge she sighed when she saw the merger ingredients.  She set out some ground beef, shredded cheese, and a can of beans.

Y/N wanted to give up, but she forced herself to stay committed. I could probably make a casserole with this stuff and have it turn out ok, she thought as she rolled up the sleeves of her worn-out sweater and got to work. After about fifteen minutes she was done putting the ingredients in the chipped pan, then she realized that if she wanted it to be warm she actually has to cook it at Sean's house. Bracing herself for an awkward conversation Y/N put the lid on the pan and picked it up before she walked out the door into the hall of the cheap apartment complex.

A/N

I know that this book is starting at a very low place but it has to for the subject matter. I'd like to say that it gets better, but I'd say that it just gets different over time, not better.

Regardless, you know what you signed up for, and

Until next time I'll see you on the other side

~J. C. Coltt.~