Clouding My Judgement

33

"Okay since you fell asleep before we finished twenty one questions, can I ask you one more?" He questioned

Naomi nodded her head, she didn't know why he wanted to start that game again but what was the harm in it.

"Why do you not wear your natural hair that often, in all the time I've known you I've seen you natural three times I think." He asked

Naomi glanced at the boy across the room. She wasn't expecting that. That question out of anything he could ask her.

Naomi opened her mouth to speak but quickly closed it. She was trying to find the right words to say. She hadn't been asked this question before. She didn't expect it from him. She knew the real reason why she never really wore it natural but she didn't tell anyone. That was her own battle to fight.

She twirled her curl which was infront of her face. Her hair was natural today. She had it in a high slicked bun, with two curly pieces coming out at the front as her signature fringe.

"I-I... no one's ever asked me that before" She stuttered out

"Well I did say I wanted two questions after you got to ask my personal question, I just needed some time to think for the last one" He said

Naomi remembered how he had told her about his sister. She knew she had to tell him the truth. She couldn't lie to him, not after how he had trusted her with the reason why he didn't attend uni straight away.

"I guess I don't wear it natural often because for many reasons-" she started, as she played with her fingers

"-yes my hair may be long now but it wasn't always. Everyone always takes the piss out of black girls and how their hair isn't long when they're younger."

"I guess that's where my insecurities started. Primary school where people would bully me for my cane-rows and my 'messy' hair, as it wasn't bone straight and I couldn't wear it 'down' like all the other girls" She sniffled

"But I grew to like it as I got older. And then he happened. The boy who broke me in every shape and form. He hated my natural hair. He would always make comments about it. I'm not going to repeat what he said cause I refuse to allow anyone to have that ability to tare me down again." She revealed

"It kinda stuck with me. Even after he left. Even after I ended things, I still remember what he said" she smiled, hoping to mask how hurt she truly was. Hoping to make the boy not feel bad for triggering an insecurity of hers.

"Naomi, I didn't know" he started

He walked towards the girl across the room and stood infront of her. "Well I think it looks good natural, I prefer it" he commented.

He stood in between her legs, as she sat on one of the empty machines. He wiped away a tear which fell down her cheek. He felt bad. He knew a black girl's hair was a interesting topic but he didn't know it would be that triggering for her. He wanted nothing more than to punch whoever made her think like that. He liked her hair as it was, it was nice.

As Naomi finally looked up at the boy in front of her she saw the hurt in his eyes. She knew he felt bad for asking her. She wanted to tell him she was okay but she couldn't find the right words to convince him. She wanted nothing more than to kiss him to show what she couldn't say. She slowly lent forward. She was going for it. She was actually going to do it.

Suddenly the laundry room door swung open. Naomi turned her head to the side, as if she wasn't going to kiss him. Theo stepped away from her. He wasn't sure what had just happened but he was annoyed at whoever interrupted them. He turned around to see who had walked in.

It was Seb. Seb looked up at the two figures in the room and smiled. He realised it was Naomi and Theo. He walked over to Naomi and stepped into her legs.

"Hey" he said, pulling her chin to look at her.

Naomi's heart was pounding. She had almost kissed Theo and now Seb had just walked in. The two boys who were causing the most trouble in her head. She looked into his eyes and she felt bad. She felt guilty.

Seb took no time in connecting their lips as he had missed her. Naomi melted into the kiss. Her mind was conflicted. She had wanted to kiss Theo, but when Seb kissed her she forgot all about Theo. She pushed the thought of Theo away and blamed it on her simply being horny. There was no way she liked Theo.

Her body only wanted him cause he said the right thing in the moment. She truly wanted Seb. Right?