Darling Ellie

Chapter 23

Elaine

I sat next to Pan at dinner that night. We were both doing anything to win. He shot me his smirk even more than usual, he would often lean in to whisper in my ear so I could feel his breath down my neck. He would play with his hair and look at me over the edge of his goblet. As much as I hated to admit it to myself, I was finding it tough. He really dialled it up to max, but this was more than a game it was a battle.

One that I had to win. I made sure that the way I sat accentuated every curve for Pan. I would lick my lips any time I took a pause and bite my lip when I was 'thinking' about how to answer a question. Any time he whispered to me I would make sure to sigh or breathe deeply so that he could feel the movements. I wanted to kiss him right at the table by the end of the meal and I hoped he wanted me just as much as I wanted him. But I wouldn't fold, not tonight.

I went to visit Daniel after dinner,

"You're walking, that's great!" I exclaimed excitedly as I walked into the tent to see him moving slowly around the room.

"I'll be good as new in a few days, just in time for full moon I reckon."

"Full moon, what's so important about that?"

"Don't you remember, we dance round the fire under the light of the full moon. With the masks and cloaks and everything."

"Of course." I gasped.

Great, everyone went a little crazy on the night of the full moon. Last time Daniel had wanted me to stay the night in his tent. What if he asked the same this time and all I wanted to do was be with Peter?

"You okay." He asked sitting on the bed.

"What? Oh yes, I'm fine. Glad you're feeling better."

"Pan hasn't been too...awful?"

"No, I'm fine. I can deal with Pan."

"For now, just until I'm better and I can protect you. Until you move in with me."

"Daniel, I can deal with Pan whenever I need to. I can take care of myself."

"You can for now exactly, but you'll have me very soon and we can be together." I didn't agree with him.

Something about his comments made me so angry. He was trying to manage me, trying to separate me from Pan on the pretence of protecting me. When Pan says stuff like that, which he had been doing less frequently since I snapped at him about it, I sense that he's joking but Daniel seems completely serious. With Pan I don't feel like his objectifying comments are real, it's just a game we play. But Daniel's patronising comments seem all too real.

"I should go, Pan said not to take too long." I lied. Daniel walked over to me and placed his hands on my hips.

"Stay here, let him know that he doesn't control you."

"Daniel I can't you know..." I tried to think of an excuse. "You know what he would do to you."

"I don't care, show him that you choose me." Daniel lent in close to kiss me, but I looked away.

"I need more time to sort this out, to figure this out."

"Are you still...trying to decide?" Daniel asked, he sounded almost disgusted.

"This is really hard for me Daniel. You know what Pan's like, now image you're a girl who has to live under the same roof as him." I was being purposely ambiguous, almost telling him what he expected or wanted to hear.

Daniel's eyes grew dark.

"I'll bloody kill him." He said attempting to storm away.

"What, what are you talking about?" I asked gripping his arms tightly.

"He hurt you didn't he, he made you...you know...made you..."

"Daniel, I did not sleep with him!" I shouted, then hoped I hadn't drawn to much outside attention to myself.

"He hasn't gone that far, hasn't forced himself on me like that okay. Yes, he kissed me a couple times, but so have you and just like with you I liked it. I didn't say no. I just need a break from all this it's like since the moment I got to this camp all I'm seen as is a prize, who gets Ellie?" I threw my hands in the air before pinching the bridge of my nose.

"I'm going back to my room, I think we both need to cool off...I don't want to say anything I'll regret."

"I'm sorry, I didn't always see you as a prize but now..."

"Goodnight Daniel." I folded my arms across my chest trying to hold myself together somewhat.

Daniel had assumed I slept with Peter, and he made it seem like such a bad thing. I could feel tears pooling in my eyes, I broke into a sprint to the other side of the camp, barrelling through the door to Pan's cabin. I pushed it shut behind me.

"Just couldn't wait to see me could y-" Pan cut himself off. "Ellie, what's wrong?"

Putting a hand to my mouth I choked back the sobs. I ran to my room and slammed the door collapsing on the floor hardly breathing through my tears.

"Ellie!" Pan pounded on the door.

"Ellie let me in! Please Ellie open the door! Tell me what happened! Elaine talk to me!"

"Go Pan, leave me alone." I sobbed.

"Ellie please I can help you."

"I don't need your help just go!" It was as if I could feel the pain in Peter's chest as he recoiled from the door.

As if I was in his head watching the scene unfold listening to my sobs behind the closed door. I felt so dizzy as the tears continued to pour down my face. I fell asleep, back braced against the door.

###

The room was dark, the packed earth floor cold and hard beneath me. Ropes bit into my skin like snakes, rubbing my wrists raw. I felt tears on my skin...blood on my skin.

"Did you really think you would go unpunished. For what you did to me." I begged them to stop, to let me go.

But they couldn't hear me. I was knocked to the side, more blood spilling onto the ground. Screaming in pain and anguish. A hand clamped firmly around my throat. Lips pressed firmly against mine.

"You're mine. You will always be mine." I tried to speak but couldn't get enough air.

The dark figure hit me again and again, I was screaming, crying, choking. Suddenly they stopped, I heard the ripping of fabric, I felt their hands moving up my bare thighs higher and higher...