Darling Ellie

Chapter 32

Elaine

I shot forward in bed screaming. I had lost track how many times in a row the night terrors ripped through my sub-conscious, forcing me into a strange, trapped state.

The only thing which would pull me from the place in between my dreams and reality was Pan, he held me close and stroked my hair. Calming me, grounding me. I didn't even need to hear his voice to know it was him. Tears streamed down my face as he held me, my arms limp at my sides.

Piece by piece the room came back to me. I was in Pan's bed, not the cave. I was dressed and warm, not cold, and exposed. I was with Peter, not with Daniel. That was the hardest part. Convincing myself that Daniel was far away, locked up. Pan was here, not him. Some days I struggled with that more than I could bear.

"Just try to sleep, the sun won't rise for hours." Pan whispered, his voice husky.

He guided my body down gently, pulling the covers back up. I turned over and closed my eyes only to have a jagged image of Daniel flash behind my closed eyelids.

Smiling, his knuckles bloody. I gasped my eyes flying open.

"All I see is him...I can't escape him...he...he." Pan held me again, pulling back the blankets between us.

"Come close to me, face my chest." He said softly.

I hesitantly closed the gap between us, my head laying on the edge of my pillow. He pulled me closer, I tucked my arms against his chest and laid my head in the crook of his shoulder. He pulled the covers around us and whispered once more before I fell asleep.

"I'll protect you from the dark."

###

My eyes fluttered open softly, sunlight seeped through the gap under Pan's bathroom door. I moved causing Pan to stir. Half asleep he moved his hand to cup my face gently leaning in close. I panicked and pushed him away. His green eyes flew open in confusion. I still had my hand braced firmly against his chest, my eyes filled with fear.

"I'm sorry, I-I don't know what happened. I don't know why I did that." He spluttered.

I recoiled my hand.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to...I j-just...but all I see i-is...all I see," I took a deep and shuddering breath, "I want to make you happy, but I all I see is him. Every time. I see him in my dreams, I see him in the dark. I see him in your face."

A tear fell gently down my cheek. I hadn't seen Pan's grin, a hint of mischief or even happiness on his face since everything happened. This morning was no different. He wiped the water from my face with his thumb.

"Your happiness is all that matters, not my selfish..." He trailed off.

"I should have been more careful. Where do you want breakfast today?" He asked, quickly changing the subject.

I sighed, "The hall."

Pan stood frozen for a moment. I hadn't gotten dressed since he saved me, let alone left the cabin. I didn't know if it had been days of weeks or months. And until now I didn't care.

"I'll be alright." I threw the covers back and left Pan's room, his eyes following me out.

I tried not to let my legs shake, I tried to tense my muscles and stand straight. Feats that were so easy before. That I had never thought twice about. Opening the door, I stepped into my room for the first time in days. I pulled the grey sweater I was wearing over my head, discarding it on the floor, followed by the fluffy black pants I had on.

Riffling through my wardrobe I found clothes which hadn't been there before. New from Pan. I pulled on a pair of skin-tight shorts followed by a pair of plain black pants, a long sleeve grey top and a dark green knit sweater. I looked at the mirror only for a moment before quickly shutting the wardrobe door.