mind, body, and soul | lee felix

three

"Fall in love with me."

I swallow, captivated by his dark eyes. There's something about him that draws me to him. I shouldn't be here; I shouldn't listen to him. But yet- isn't he offering what I want? To see Emily again?

While Felix patiently waits for my answer, I debate within myself. I can't just fall in love with someone on command. But for Emily? To see her again? To be fair, I was willing to sell my soul. He's giving me what I want. Why am I fighting this?

It doesn't seem like it would be hard to fall in love with Felix. Objectively speaking, he might be the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. His personality seems a little dark and cold, but I could get past that. I could get past anything to see Emily.

I nod once, taking a sharp breath. Felix tightens his grip on my face.

"No, love, you have to say it out loud. Agree to it. Use your words, sweetheart." My throat seems to have a lump, but I fight to get the words out.

"Okay, I'll do it. I'll fall in love with you. Just let me see Em. Please." Felix chuckles and backs up, crossing his arms again. 

"Damn. Humans really do anything for love. Even if that love is dead. Damn." he repeats, shaking his head. He sighs and reaches into his back pocket, taking out a keycard. He walks towards a door I hadn't noticed before. When he swipes the card across the lock, he looks over his shoulder.

"What are you waiting for? C'mon, seriously." Felix shakes his head when I make my way over, aggravated with my slowness. I come to stand next to him when he opens the door and leads me into a dimly lit room. Following him inside, I keep my eyes trained on the floor. I can feel my heart racing. What is he going to do? And why does he keep referring to me as a "human"? Isn't he one too?

Felix closes the door behind me and stands in front of me, his face unreadable. "You're absolutely sure?" He asks. I don't know if it's just me, but I feel like I heard a tone of concern in his voice. "You really want to do this? There's a reason it's not easy to reach the deceased. They've passed on for a reason." Okay, now there is definitely some concern. Why? What does he care? 

I straighten up and take a deep breath. "I want to do this," I tell him, making bold eye contact with Felix. His lips thin and he shrugs, stepping closer. Lifting his hands, he gently pushes my eyelids down and presses the pads of his thumbs on the thin skin.

Felix hums softly, rubbing small circles onto my closed eyes. I stand awkwardly, unsure about what to do with my hands. I sniff, then sniff again, my eyebrows furrowing. The citrus scent is progressively becoming stronger. I want to open my eyes, but Felix is keeping them closed with his gentle rubbing.

"Alright," he whispers into my ear, causing shivers to run down my spine. "I'm going to let you open your eyes. Ten minutes, sweetheart. Have fun." I know when he steps away, because the air around me gets a little cooler. His hands are removed from my face and then there's just silence. I can't even hear Felix's breath. 

I swallow and clench my fists before opening my eyes. There, standing in front of me, is Emily, a small smile on her beautiful face. I stare at her for a second before launching myself at her. I wrap my arms around my neck and let the tears fall, inhaling her familiar scent for the first time in months.

I feel her placing her hands on my waist, pulling me closer.

"Hi, my star," Emily says softly, leaning back to kiss me. "I missed you." I'm sobbing, her face going in and out of focus. She leans her forehead against mine and bits her lip, tears of her own forming her eyes.

"Hey," she whisper, making me look at her. "You'll be okay, you know that, right? You're strong. You've been doing good these past few months, I've seen you." I look at her, finding it hard to breathe.

"You were with me?" I ask. Emily closes her eyes and a tear slips out. "I'm always with you. Not even a car accident could stop me." I laugh, my tears coming faster. We hold each other for a moment, neither of us saying anything. 

Far too soon, Emily pulls away and brushes a strand of hair away from my face. Wiping a tear from my cheek, she gives me a serious look.

"I know that you missed me, but-" she looks behind her, apprehensive. Felix is there, his back to us. "In case you were wondering, he can't hear or see us right now. He gave us ten minutes. It's hard to explain, but basically he gave you his sight for this period of time." Emily sighs and tucks my hair behind my ear.

"You have to fall in love with him now, right?" I nod in response to her question. She narrows her eyes. "Okay, just promise me one thing?" I nod again, stronger. 

"Anything, Em." 

"No matter how much you love him in the future, don't let him inside." I tilt my head, my vision blurring. Maybe it's my tears or something, but she seems to be fading and she doesn't feel as real anymore. "Don't let him inside your head." As she says these words, she kisses the top of my forehead and mummers, "I love you, my star. Be happy." 

With that, she fades away completely and I'm left standing in the middle of the room. With tears still coursing down my face, I turn and look at Felix, who isn't facing me. Let him in? I don't even know what he is.