mind, body, and soul | lee felix

finale

Looking over the field of light pink blossoms, I sigh, letting a small wistful smile onto my face. I tilt my head upwards, letting the sunshine wash over me.

The wind blows lightly, lifting a few strands of my hair and bringing them across my face as I watch the flowers move together. Closing my eyes, I can almost feel Felix's arms wrapped around my waist, his chin in the crook of my shoulder.

"Angel," he whispers, dropping a kiss onto the side of my neck. "Isn't it beautiful?" I nod, a tear slipping down my cheek. Felix hums, bringing one of his hands up to my face and wiping it gently. 

"Don't cry, please." Felix kisses me again, not letting me turn around to face him. "It's okay. I'm happy now." Another tear falls; I'm unable to control them anymore. I start silently sobbing, shaking in his arms.

"Angel, open your eyes." Felix murmurs, reminding me of the first time we went flying together. I open them, surveying the field of buttercups. "The flowers remind me of home. They remind me of you." 

I let out a sob, letting the tears course down my cheeks, blurring my vision. Felix's grip around my waist gets weaker, and I cry out.

"Lix, please. Stay."

Felix kisses my shoulder, and I feel a tear drop onto my skin.

"You made me stay for a long time," he whispers against me. "Now let me go."

I whip around, catching a glimpse of Felix one last time. He smiles wistfully at me, lifting a hand to my cheek and wiping a tear before disappearing with the wind. 

Dropping to my knees, I bow my head and sob, crying out for Felix, for him to appear like he did before. Come back, I beg silently. Come back. Please. I won't be able to heal from this.

"I get it now!" I scream into the quiet, searching vainly for a response. "I know why you did everything; I know why you made the deal. Please, just come back. I can't come back from this. I can't just forget you." There's no answer, just like I knew there wouldn't be. Yet, some part deep inside of me couldn't give up. 

"Felix, please!" I stand, trembling as I wipe my face with one hand. "Please." With that word, I turn around slowly, looking around. When there's no answer, no one responding to me, I let one last tear slip out before wiping it away.

I turn my back on the field, placing one foot in front of the other before hesitating. Turning around, I run back to the flowers, picking the first one I see. Cupping the fragile blossom in my hands, I carefully place it in my pocket.

Surveying the scene in front of me, I knew I won't ever be able to be the same. I knew there was nothing and no one who could ever make me who I was. Felix changed me in every way, and I'm not sure I want to go back to who I was.

All I know is I loved him fully. I loved him with my mind, my body, and my soul. I gave him everything I had, and he gave me everything in return. The only thing I can do now is live my life for the two of us.