THE JOCK JUST WANTS THE NERD [2]

87

||JACKSON||

A couple of days later...

Mind preoccupied, or more likely blank with hardly any emotions while eyes stared at the array of rainbow colors reflecting on the mist from the hose.

It has been more than two days since I've heard of the results of Ethan's hospital life. A sick gnawing sensation graveled my stomach but I did my best to ignore it.

All I've been doing was distracting myself with anything I could to cope with the anxiousness. I was gazing to space and didn't even realize that I was overflowing the current specific flower with water until I heard Damian calling me out from behind, "dude, you might end up killing them instead," he placed a hand on my shoulder.

Shaking my head, I pointed the nozzle in a different direction of plants, "sorry..." I murmured.

While trying to cope, the three have been trying to cheer as well as Kyle counseling me; though I must admit, he does a very good job at it. No wonder Kyle studies psychology.

Turning back to my friend, I could tell he was fairly worried about me with his brows arched inwards. For the most part, Damian had been accompanying me the entire time because of how visibly lonely and pressed my behavior is lately. His attempts were to buy me food, invited me to a bunch of weightlifting sessions with Peter, or even just hanging out with him and Kyle or even Kenny if possible. But all I did was wallow in self-pity whilst indulging in the grace of these beautiful flowers. He stood beside me, observing as the droplets trickled on the petals and leaves, casually glancing at me from time to time, "do you love him that much?" Curiously, Damian asked.

Love is such a strong word, yet it felt so appropriate and right.

"Yeah... so deeply, this is the first time I've ever felt such a strong attraction. I've been doubting for so long, but this battle with my feelings against Ethan is something I most definitely was defeated at and embraced instead. Now, I'm just so afraid to lose him..." my fingers gripped around the rubber tube tightly as the spray narrowed and shot further upon the greenery.

"Yeah, your diary was pretty much filled with him," rubbing the back of his neck.

"I forgot about that," blinking, "though that was still an invasion of privacy," grumbling at him.

Letting out a nervous chuckle, he turns back to the scenery, "honestly, I really look up to your dedication and bravery, ya know?" Hands with palms facing upwards he stares at them, "I wish I was strong to own up to my emotions as well, yet I destroyed and pushed them away..."

Tilting my head and raised a brow, my mind wondered what he was insinuating or just rather talking about, "what do you mean?" Soon, he longingly eyes the patch of dainty roses in front of us before narrating a backstory.

...

"Well, back in TopStar high school, I liked this one girl. Erm, to be more specific, It began way back in middle school. She was so damn cute and pretty, and it was no surprise that a lot found her like that too...

She stuck with Noah, who I assume you should know, every damn time. I was so jealous, yet I couldn't even bring myself to make a move.

Fast forward to sophomore year, there was a rumor that one of the fullback football players was dating her which is a first. At the time, anger issues weren't kept at their best and I used to be very impulsive and immature. When I found out, I threatened to ruin his reputation in front of everyone and wanted them to break up so badly.

With the karma that came with it, I learned that she had moved to your school with Noah. Apparently, it was the last straw for her, and being the asshole I am didn't even take her thoughts into consideration...

I'm horrible..." Damian mutters lowly, the sound of splashing water nearly drowned out his last words. He returns back to me, dissipating his frown first before continuing, "honestly, I don't know what I'm saying either, I only wanted to get it out of my chest nor do I mean to share along gloomy atmosphere there is right now. I just mentioned because I admire your perseverance to love Ethan so much and fighting for it after all the shit you've been thrown at."

Astonished with this revelation? I am, "w-wow, thanks Damian, I don't know what to say..."

Breaking the soft growing serenity, he brushed it off as if it was kind of embarrassing to submerge for him. He suggests we get out of the greenhouse because it was starting to get humid and that he brought up that the vegetation has had its fill, otherwise they would be drowning at this point.

-

The remaining afternoon consisted of Damian asking Kyle to come with and visit Kenny's workplace. Though it may not be the best for to divert my thoughts away from Ethan, I did enjoy our dinner together. Kenny volunteered to be our waiter so he could occasionally participate in our conversations when he came over. Oddly though, Damian would slightly stiffen when Carla came by, but that's besides the point.

Tonight, I tried to let myself loose for now and just hold on to the hope that Ethan comes back.