Always Worth the Risk || Levi x Reader

Chapter 32

Y/N's Pov

I feel like I should be more panicked, more scared. I feel like I should be crying and screaming and begging. But instead, I just feel calm, if not a bit sad. Not sad that I'm dying necessarily, just sad because I'll miss him.

I watch from afar as Erwin goes and explains his plans to Levi. I turn away as his face starts to fall, tears prick my eyes. Fuck, I'm really going to miss him, I wish I wasn't leaving him like this. We were supposed to have more time together.

I slip inside one of the abandoned houses and lean against the crumbling wall. A table is overturned at the centre, and broken bits of plates and glass littered the ground. A family used to live here; I wonder where they are now.

I've heard that when people are in situations like this, sometimes, they feel a sense of clarity, reach a point of acceptance. I think that's what's happening right now. I know I'm going to die and I've accepted it.

I'm a little surprised that I only have two regrets, I thought that I would have way more. Maybe if this was happening a year ago I would. My only regrets now are that I won't get to say goodbye to my friends, wherever they are on the other side of the wall.

A sharp pain stabs into my heart as I think of them. Jean, Mikasa, Armin, Eren, Sasha, Connie... My squad, my friends, my family. I'll never see them again; I wish I could say goodbye. I hope they'll be ok.

My second regret is that I'll be leaving Levi behind. After all we've been through, I thought that we would have more time together, but I guess that I was wrong. Still, I'm grateful for what we did share. I never thought that I would end up loving him so much, I just want him to happy.

If he's ok, I'm ok.

Levi's Pov

"No."

My ears hollow out and the world dims around me. I suddenly feel like I can't breathe. An immense pain consumes me, and I don't know what to do. Erwin is sitting in front of me. He's just explained his plan.

Y/N is going to die.

"No."

No. I can't lose her. Not yet. Not ever. I need her. I look around. I can't see her, where did she go? I need to find her right now. I need to take her away, hide her somewhere safe. There's no way I'm letting her go through with this.

If Erwin wants to die let him, but there's no way he's taking the woman I love away from me.

"Levi..." Erwin starts.

"No," I say for the third time. "No." I grab him and slam him against the wall. Erwin winces but doesn't say anything. "You're a self bastard. I can't let you do this. I won't let you do this."

"There's no other way," he says, much too calmly. "We both have to die for this to work."

I drop him and he stumbles slightly. "No. Without you the Survey Corp is finished anyway, even if this does work. And I can't take the Beast Titan down without Y/N. You've seen how strong she is."

"You're strong enough to take him down without her," Erwin says. "You know you are; you're just looking for an excuse to keep her alive."

"Obviously I'm looking for a reason to keep her alive," I snap. My heart hurts so much. I don't what to do. "I can't..." I hang my head. "I can't lose her, you can't take her away from me," I whisper.

She's the one who brought me back from the darkest place after my squad died. She accepted me even when she saw all my flaws, learned about my past. She loved me when I thought no one else would. I didn't think it was possible for someone like her to exist, and yet here she is.