The new me.

-4-

It's been another week since I caught Kageyama cheating on me.

I've been doing... better. Not amazing. But better. I finally showered today, if that counts for anything. After the last breakdown, you guys saw I wrote a song. Which, will actually be the first song to my next album. There was no real creative process behind the lyrics, to be honest, I just vented through music. I wrote down anything and everything that came to mind. I called it:

'Training Wheels'

As you all know, I've been cheated on multiple times... So I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when it happened again. But, because of that, I have severe trust issues. So it's very difficult to let anyone in my life, especially as anything closer than friends. I promised myself I wouldn't date anyone, I was sick and tired of getting hurt and being dropped like a piece of trash. I was done with feeling worthless and having low self esteems because I never felt good enough for anyone. But then... Kageyama came along, and of course I decided to give it one more shot. And well here we are. So this first song basically puts all of those feelings into lyrics. But no sneak peeks for you, you'll have to wait until my next concert. As of right now I'm in the music room working on yet another song and- Ding~

I look over to the table on my right as my phone notifies me of a text message. Shit. From the one and only. You guessed it. Kageyama Tobio. I read his text even tho my whole being is screaming at me to ignore him. But of course I couldn't listen.

Kageyama: "Hey Hinata. I was wondering if I could come over and pick up some of my stuff today and then maybe we could talk?"

Talk about what exactly? There is nothing to talk about. You did what you did you asshole. I think. But I guess I can't say no to him coming to collect his things. It has been two weeks... Goddammit, I really didn't want to see him. I say aloud while trying to think of other options to not have to see him. But to no avail.

Me: I guess. Be here in 30. I reply dryly, not wanting to have any conversation with him if I didn't have too. 

I fix myself up a bit not to impress him at all actually, but truthfully I look a mess. I've been sitting in the music room for hours just jotting down all of my ideas on paper. I think the new album's going to be a hit, and I'm super excited for it. I'm worried because the way it's going so far I can tell that it will be a lot different from what my music usually is. I rush downstairs exactly thirsty minutes later, hearing the doorbell. My heart begins to race, my hands start to sweat, and I can barely even stand, I'm so nervous. Reluctantly, I open the door. "Hey... Uh come in." I say shakily. "Thanks." He replied walking in smiling at me once again forgetting the small step we have in the entrance and tripping on it. Some things never change. I thought to myself as I left out a small laugh. Quickly covering my mouth with my hand, hoping he didn't hear me. He looks back at me with a smile, "Can I go upstairs?" He asks in a gentle voice. I know what you're doing." Yea, no yea, go ahead," I answer awkwardly. I always loved his smile, and he knew it always made me blush. You unslick bastard.

He gets everything he needs and comes back downstairs. And here comes the nerves again. Stop being nervous and stop blushing like an idiot. Oh my god. I yell at myself internally. "Got everything" I ask. "Yea... yea, I did. Thanks for letting me stop by. I guess I'll be going now" No. I want you to stay. I want you back. I plead with him. In my mind of course I know he doesn't want me back. "Yea It's no problem you needed your stuff so... yea" He nods at my statement and turns his back to me and starts walking back to the door. As he's about to leave, he looks back at me, eyes full of sorrow and regret as he speaks. "Hinata... I- I'm really sorry-" I don't want to talk to him, so I cut him off abruptly. "It's fine. Really. Just forget about it" I pause. No, It's not fine. I want to yell at him, but I can't bring myself too. "I just hope that Yamaguchi can make you happier than I could and that you guys are both happy together," I finish as I look down, not wanting to look at him in case I start crying. Which is honesty, inevitable. "Hinata, that's just it. Yamaguchi broke up with me... It's you that I want." My eyes widen. I should be happy, but I'm... Angry with him. "That's so low it's almost pathetic." I say. He furrows his brows in confusion "What do you mean?-" I laugh at his idiocy before cutting him off "Oh come on Kageyama. Seriously? You need me to spell it out for you? You only want me back now because Yamaguchi didn't want your cheating ass," I began. "Is that really all I am to you?! I second choice? A last resort in case you didn't get what you wanted? Is that it?!" Silence. "IS IT?" More silence. I gave a low chuckle, "Your silence speaks volumes. Were done here get the hell out" I spit out. "Please, Shoyo just-" "DON'T call me that. You don't have a right too. Now get out of my house." He tried once more to reason with me, but I wasn't having it. "But-" "GO" I yell, pointing towards the door.

He picks up his things and walks out the glass door and all I see is his back turned to me.