Crooked

not the teenage dream

I head was pressed against the door, as I cried to myself. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't be. I shouldn't be.

So many thoughts raced my mind, my mother was right about me. I was a whore, for letting something like this happen to me.

I let someone touch my body, someone I didn't even know take my first time. All because I was upset, angry. All because I wanted to make him feel the way he made me feel.

I was wrong about Sean. He was never the reason why our relationship was hard, it was me. Everything was my fault. It had nothing to do with Jenna.

I opened my palm looking at the pregnancy test results again. It was true. I was pregnant.

And it was his. I felt disgusted. I wanted to die. I needed to die.

I couldn't live like this, with a person who can be so hot then cold. I didn't want a baby. I had plans. I wanted to live a regular life.

I hate him. I hate him so much. he knew exactly what he was doing. This ends. It's either me or him. I hid the pregnancy test, back in its same spot.

I crept myself downstairs, he'd been making us lunch. He started making more food for me after that day Dosse had been here.

"Chicken paninis and potatoes wedges." anthony say flipping over the grilled sandwhich.

I glanced over at the table seeing the big knife that took place on it. He turned around watching me as I sat down. I stared at the knife intently, so many thoughts raced my mind. So many.

Anthony plopped the food in front of me, it smelled nice. It didn't make my stomach churn which was a good thing.

"I want mayo and pickles on mine." I blurted.

Anthony eyes darted over to me, then a smirk followed with them. He placed his food in front of his chair.

"It should be fine the way it is."

I rolled my eyes at him, removing myself to chair to the fridge. I frowned as I saw there weren't any pickles in there.

A muffled laughter erupted from behind me. I slammed the fridge sitting myself back down. I took a bit into the panini, almost smiling at how good it tasted.

It really wanted pickles on it, so that may have been the only sad part. I sighed as I placed the sandwhich on the plate again.

"Damn it, would you stop complaining about the fucking pickles!" he snarled.

My eyes watered as I picked it up and began to eat it again. He was so mean. This was the father of my child. This, was the father of my unborn baby. The man sitting in front of me criticizing me for just wanting pickles on my sandwhich.

I ate my food trying not to cry in front of him. His eyes burned through me.

"I know you're not ab-"

"Can you just please be nice!" I screamed slamming my hand onto the table.

He raised an eyebrow at my outburst. Then that mocking smile crept up on his face again.

"I- why do I even try to care." I got myself up bring my plate of food with me.

"Over pickles?" he chuckled.

I turned back throwing the plate at him, I don't know what came over me. I was just so angry.

"I hate you! I really do! You don't care, you don't care!" I cried, watching as he just glared at me as if I was the problem.

"What is wrong with you today?" he said getting out of his chair to pick up the broken pieces.

"You're horrible! And you make me feel horrible for just being with you! Why!" I choked up on my words, falling down onto my knees.

"Valerie you can't be serious." he joked.

"I hate you! I don't wanna have a baby! I don't wanna be a mom. I'm not ready. I'm not r-"

"Pregnant?" he kneeled down in front of me, cupping my face in his cold hands.

My eyes watered more, he knew now. He knew, I hated how he engulfed me in his arms. I didn't want him to be gentle with me. I didn't want this because I knew it wasn't gonna last. It'll never lasts.

"A kid, huh?" he said wrapping me up tightly.

"I'm not keeping it." I muttered over and over again.

He gripped my face wiping at my tears, "Come on, don't ruin this." he looked at my lips trying to plant a kiss on my lips.

I shifted my head away from him, his hands arose up from my hips. "Come on, just one kiss. You don't love me anymore?"

"I never did-"

"Really?"

I got myself up, looking at him in disgust. He ran his hand up my thigh. I jerked his hand away leaving a satisfied grin on his face.

"Why are you li-"

"You want me to beg?"

I scoffed at him walking away, he followed me of course, demanding to see the test. Some kind of proof, I hesitated.

"Come on, show it to me." he says with a slight raise in his tone.

He gripped onto my arm, squeezing at it. "Take your hands off of me first." Anthony let up his hands raising them up to his defense.

"Fine you win."

I snatched the pregnancy test from under the bed, slamming it into his hand. He looked down at it running his finger along the side of it.

"Yeah you're definitely pregnant, and it's definitely mines." he says wrapping his arms around me kissing the sweet spot on my neck.

"Stop it." I muttered.

He oddly listened to my request, I didn't like how he was acting about this. Maybe this baby can keep me safe, but I didn't trust it. Nor did I want to have it.

"I might as well remake your food for you, I don't want my kid to starve." he says running his hand down to my flat stomach.

He gave me a kiss on the forehead, heading downstairs. I have to get rid of this baby. There is no way I am keeping it. Not when it's going to have a monster for a father.

Not on my watch.