𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙂𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙂𝙞𝙧𝙡 𝙏𝙪𝙧𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝘽𝙖𝙙

Chapter 24: Betrayal

♦ ♢ ♦ Xavier ♦ ♢ ♦

I couldn't sleep at night due to my paranoia. Same goes for Sunday. But Sofia didn't try anything. She merely stared at me through out the days, as if silently asking me to make my decision.

But there is nothing to decide.

That bitch needs to go the fuck away.

But not only was I thinking of Sofia, I was thinking of Kaitlyn. And what Dexter was telling her. How she'd allowed him to cup her cheeks, when it should be my hands on her skin. Me with her.

Will she get persuaded by Terrence? After all this charade, will she go running back to him, if he apologizes?

This gives me panic. I don't...

I don't want to lose her...

I know, it's fucking pathetic, but after all these years I finally get to be close to her again. And losing her will feel final, this time. I always knew Terrence wasn't for her. But she chose him. Not me. She walked away from me when I needed her the most. And that's something I can never forgive her for. It was always her choice. Always. And I waited for so damn long for her to make the right one, but apparently, I wasn't the knight she wanted.

I'm the scarred, the broken boy. The one who doesn't allow himself to get attached to anything, after getting everything he cared about ripped away from him.

But I want someone too... Someone to hold me at night, and protect me from my demons.

If mom was here, all of this never would have happened, I can't help but think. No Sofia, no dad spiraling, no Zara breaking apart, no fallout with Kaitlyn, no therapy for months for me.

I try to look back, and all I see is a haze. When mom died...

My breath hitches as memories of blood and tears and glassy eyes flash in my mind.

No.

I can't do it.

I still can't do it. I've worked so hard to bury all of that.

I can't.

I can't.

I can't.

♦ ♢ ♦ Kaitlyn ♦ ♢ ♦

Monday. Fuck. I'm dreading this week.

Because it will lead up to Saturday, a day before my 18th birthday, the 1st of December.

They couldn't have chosen a worse time. But mom really doesn't care anymore, does she? It's a tough pill to swallow, but I can't stop her from chasing her dreams. Or her dream man.

I try to focus on the day, but Xavier is distracted again. I'm concerned for him, like... really. I have no idea what's eating at him, but it's something. He can't hide it from me.

"Xavier," I ask as I sit beside him in Chemistry.

He looks at me, his grey eyes more guarded than they've been in a long time. "Sup."

I frown. "What's wrong?" He shakes his head again, making me sigh. "Have you eaten well these days?" I ask.

He blinks at me. "I..."

The answer is no. Every time he's upset, his appetite goes away.

I swallow hard. "Are you upset over something?" I dare ask.