𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙂𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙂𝙞𝙧𝙡 𝙏𝙪𝙧𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝘽𝙖𝙙

Chapter 35: First time

♦ ♢ ♦ Kaitlyn ♦ ♢ ♦

Xavier bursts into the room, tears leaking from his eyes as he breathes heavily. God, what happened down there? I throw my phone away, and run to him as he drops to his knees in the middle of the room, over his rug.

I come knee to knee with him, reaching out but he's already pulling me into a breathtaking hug. And then he breaks apart. "Fuck," he cries into my shoulder, and my own tears spring up as I hear his heavy, broken breaths.

How long has he waited to do this? To cry and let his emotions out?

My heart hurts for him.

"I wanted to hate him, Kaitlyn," he sobs, and my tears flow as I feel the pain he's feeling. "I wanted to hate him so much. But I can't."

"It's okay," I caress his hair, "Let it out."

"He should have never given a fuck about me. It would have been easier that way," his voice is gravel. "But he's... he's... looked over me and the things he said...I- I get him."

Fuck.

"I want to hate him," he whispers.

But he can't. Xavier is not like that. He might seem stone cold, but he's got the softest heart. The purest love. And he used to give it to all of us close to him freely, before everything was ripped away from him.

I won't lie, knowing that I am a big part of his misery is a pain I can't erase. But I can promise him my future. Promise him my love, and care. My heart.

"Xavier," I whisper, wanting him to feel better more than anything. "I love you," I tell him. His heart beats faster against my chest, and he pulls back to look at me with wide, frantic eyes. I know those words have a big effect on him. He's longed for them for so long, and now, I'll shower him with them.

His eyes fill up with desperate need, like he thinks I'm going away somewhere, and he kisses me just as desperately. I moan, unable to stop myself and kiss him back. "I need you," he whispers.

I can tell he needs physical reassurance. That I'm his. That I'm right here with him.

"Take me, Xavier," I offer myself to him again. And this time, I don't think he will refuse.

"Do you want this?" He breathes, his lips swollen from our kiss. His grey eyes smoky but clear. His nose slightly red.

"More than anything," I tell him. "Make me yours."

He sucks in a breath, look at me with a searching gaze as he removes his shirt. Then helps me with mine, then my bra is coming off and I'm helping him with his pants and he removes my panties before we're both naked on the rug on his floor.

He puts a gentle hand on my back, and guides me to lay down. He takes a pillow and lifts my hips up, putting the pillow beneath my hips. He's breathing hard, and he's hard as he rubs himself over me, making me gasp. "You're so ready for me," he exhales.

"I am," I sob with need. "I need you," I say, unable to think straight.

"Fuck," he get up and quickly gets a condom, ripping it open and putting it on himself before he's on his knees again, between my legs. "Can we skip foreplay? I'm dying for you."

I nod, heat flaring and brewing inside of my stomach. I bite my lip as he aligns himself with me. "Tell me if it's too much, okay?" He rasps before starting to push in.

I gasp, feeling stretched impossibly, and he's just entered me. He cages my head with his forearms, looking at me with so much love, my heart beats even faster.