Hidden Secrets

37- Home

Sofiia was out first round, her parents asked her to go on a family vacation since we now have a month before our next tournament plus she's going to Mexico on August first so this is truly the only time she'll get with them

Although i'm happy to see her finally get to relax with her family after almost six months of barely seeing them it does also mean i'm alone in a country i'm unfamiliar with, and I know no one here.

Of course I know the other players but everyone is competition and god knows they aren't going to want to hang out with me so here I am, alone.

It's July 9th, three hours before the Final round and i'm alone.

There's no one here.

Fuck i'm in a country alone.

Did no one care to show up? I invited my parents, my brother too, what was more important than their daughters first time getting to the finals of the most prestigious tennis tournament in the world?

A yacht party. They blamed their party in Greece for their lack of attendance to their daughters most important match of her life.

They've had their minds set on exploring the world by yacht for years, ever since I was a kid, they perfectly planned this dream of theirs to coincide with any big event in my life. My brother has managed to get their full attention, their lives revolve around his schedule, they've only been to three of my matches in my pro career, the first one was because they happened to be in the country and physically couldn't say no, the other two were because my brother wanted to go.

Lucas is injured and dropped out of the tournament.

Estella is working on a movie in La.

Alesia is at a golf tournament.

Sofiia is on vacation.

Charles won't talk to me.

How can someone with the 'perfect' life be so far from that very thing? If i'm living the dream how can I be so painfully alone? If i'm only here because my parents give me money, where are they now?

I try my best to not get in my own head but it's so difficult when there's so much to say, so much to go over and he's not here to save me from myself.

The one person that has the capability in stopping myself from becoming my own worst enemy is god knows where, he could be 9,000 km away and I wouldn't know, I can't bring myself to look up where the next race is, or when, to look at his instagram for a new post or update, I can't do it because i'm afraid.

What if there's a girl in his post? What if he's still with Carly? What if he blocked me? Any possible scenario has ran through my head multiple times and each one terrifies me, i'm terrified of the power he has over me, the capability to ruin my day with a singular picture, being able to say one sentence and crush my heart, his strength over me is traitorous and I refuse to accept it, if I accept it, how long would it take for him to realize it?

I texted him back once my plane landed telling him I had to go to London and I got no response. The small indicator under my text alerting me that he saw it, that he deliberately didn't respond.

I suppose that was enough of a tell tail for me, he regrets confiding in me, no doubt annoyed with himself, maybe he doesn't even remember, maybe he was to drunk to have memory of his gentle kisses, his arms protectively placed around my waist, if drunk words are sober thoughts, why does he do everything in his power to push me away?

friends

That's why.

We're friends, innocence, a platonic relationship, perhaps he would've stayed until I had woken up if we were something more, he would've told Pierre off for his rude description of me, he would've kissed me as we were falling asleep purely to express emotion and not to distract him from his cheating girlfriend, perhaps he'd be here, when the rest of the world is falling apart around me, shattering all hope or strength within me, he'd run to me.

-

Breathe.

Fuck.

Helena relax.

My hand is shaking.

My elbow is numb from pain.

I need to win.

I can't think straight.

My chest is rising and falling rapidly, my eyes flickering through the stands, they're all staring at me in anticipation, awaiting my serve

what if I mess this up?

I look up at the sky, the outdoor arena allowing me to find the star i'd talked about with him, pushing the pit in my stomach away I take a deep breath, walking to the baseline.

You don't need anyone.

You're fine.

I toss the ball, net.

What if i'm not good enough?

Second serve.

I can't think straight.

Fucking hell.

My arm hurts excruciatingly bad.

I'm on the verge of a panic attack although I don't show it, my eyes scan the crowd once more and my heart stops.

Suddenly i'm calm, relaxed knowing that he's here.

No one else matters in the entirety of the world, he's here.

Even if i'm hallucinating, the idea of his being here is enough the calm me.

I'm loosing 2-5 in the third set, the game score is 15-40, all she needs is one point and she's won Wimbledon and yet i'm no longer scared. My arms no longer shaking, my breathing is no longer uneven and quick, my boys presence is no longer just the star in the sky but his eyes on mine, a small smile across his face, dimples id be lying if I claimed I wasn't fond of.

"Match, Petrovic" The second the line judges voice echoes through the stadium people erupts in cheers, getting to their feet despite the normal proper demeanor throughout the duration of the tournament.

I stand in shock, not fully understanding what just happened, the only thing I know is I need him

The second family is allowed on the court for pictures and celebrations I tell a security guard to show him where to go, disappearing out of the stands before returning in my view only this time on the grass I just won on

I run up to him, throwing myself into his arms, tears in my eyes out of happiness, butterflies in my stomach, his scent invading my nose, his warmth doing a great deal of comfort, he feels like home and I'm to ecstatic to scold myself for it

If i'm only here because my parents give me money, where are they? No where, because I'm here solely because I worked for it, and if my own family can't admit that fact, I don't care, my childhood was spent in a house with them, stressed over my future but only now can I say I am who I dreamed to be, and I'm spending that realization not in a house with my family but with the feeling of finally finding my way home.

Words: 1203

DOUBLE UPDATE UR WELCOME <3

Lowkey filler chapter but hope you enjoyed :)

what do we think about him showing up? Ik a lot of you guessed it already from my tiktok abt it but still