♡love story♡

[Chapter 1] Chanie's Room

Looking back, I must have fallen for him, the day we first met but it wasn't until a few weeks ago when I had finally come to terms with my feelings. I really hoped it would go away after some time, but over 4 years later and things have only gotten worse. He is sweet and kind, charming and energetic, talented, and full of surprises. It's hard to resist him, but even harder to admit that. I should be grateful for the friendship we have right now. I can't risk losing him. And I can't endanger the group. I have to make rational decisions and I can't let selfish thoughts distract me from what's really important.
...
Although we're already so close.
'Friends' ... 'Lovers' ... would it even make a difference?

»Stop staring at me!« Felix laughed.
He had been calmly talking to the camera for the past few minutes but his sudden exclamation woke Chan from his daydreams. He didn't even have time to sort his thoughts before the younger boy lightly slapped his arm. Chan managed to smile along, before he lost himself in Felix's giggles.

It was a Sunday evening and Felix was thrilled to join another episode of 'Chan's Room'. The live stream had been going on for half an hour now but Chan wasn't able to focus as much as he would've liked to.
So far, most of the live had consisted of Felix playfully interacting with the fans and Chan quietly observing him while being lost in his thoughts.

»I wasn't staring at you... I was just thinking«
»Hmmm really? About what??«
Of course, there was no way Chan could have told the truth right now. He was way too embarrassed of how he had been letting his mind drift away.
»I have been thinking about... what we should have for dinner«
»Ohhh «
»Is there anything you want?«
»How about chicken!«
»Really? Should we grill Bbokari today?^^«
»Naurrr TT«

Luckily, Felix didn't question it anymore. He really seemed clueless about everything.
Chan managed to pull himself together for another hour and tried his best to entertain the fans.

☆☆☆

»You were totally absent earlier, hyung«
Felix and Chan were preparing dinner together after the live had ended.
»Is there anything on your mind?
... or anyone?^^«
»Come on Felix, you know how I am. Staying up all night and being tired all day. I guess I was just dozing off to sleep already«
»Are you sure?«
»You're letting the chicken burn«
»I'm not!!«
Felix rushed to the stove and swung his fork aggressively as if the fast movement would improve his cooking skills.
Naww he's so cute TT
Of course, Chan was more focused on the adorable boy than on the burning chicken. It was little moments like this that made his heart melt.

Felix always stays positive in every situation and lightens the mood without even realizing it. He's straightforward and speaks what's on his mind, but there's only room for kind thoughts in his head. It sometimes even feels like there's not even a single thought behind those eyes. And I kind of wish I could relate to that. I tend to overthink on every second of my life; past, future, and present. And right now my biggest concern is standing right in front of me, joking and laughing while preparing some damn chicken.
And I can't help but swoon over this little idiot. Just watching him fills my heart with joy. It took me way too long to realize what I felt there was way more than friendship or even bromance.

Of course, there is no way I could tell him. I mean it would be horrible if he knew. We couldn't spend time like this together anymore. What would he think of me if he knew? What would everyone else think??
»Aah-«
»Felix! Are you okay??«

The short yell was enough to bring Chan back into reality.
»I just burned my finger. But I'm fine«
»Hold it under cold water, I'll get some ice!«
Chan had always taken care of Felix. He did that with all the members of course. He was the oldest and the leader after all, so Felix never questioned his over-protectiveness.
»It's still red, did it hurt a lot?«
»Yes... but it's okay now«
»Are you sure?«
»Yes hyungie, let's finally eat now«