The Blade in Gravity Falls

CHAPTER 20: IN WHICH TWO RIVALS GO KNOCKING THEIR BALLS ABOUT

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AN: This chapter took a long time to get started as I didn't want to keep the same events for Golf War, but didn't see a particularly good way to weave Techno in, so this is more of an experimental chapter. We'll see how it turns out. It also took a long time to get finished, as writers block is a bit annoying.

Bonus points if you know which youtuber or youtube video the title idea came from. (I didn't have a title for most of the time I was working on this btw)

Discord: https://discord.gg/eSSP2GtYQS

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Dipper Pines sat on Stan's Slee-P-Boi, eating some cereal and reading a book Technoblade had recommended called The Art of War by Sun Tzu. His Grunkle Stan poked his head into the living room.

"Who wants Stan-cakes? They're like pancakes, but they probably have some of my hair in 'em."

"Pass." Dipper said.

"It's here!" Mabel screamed, bursting through the front door. "Oh, it's here! It's here, it's here, it's here! I've been waiting all morning and it's finally here! The Gravity Falls Gossiper accepted my article about summer fashion tips for squirrels. My picture is gonna be in the newspaper! Check it!" Mabel yelled, running into the ling room and then in circles before proudly showing the newspaper to her family.

"'Pacifica Northwest Declares V-Necks the Look of the Season'" Stan read aloud before processing what he had read. "What am I looking at here?"

"Woah, woah, WHAT?!" Mabel cried in shock, looking at the newspaper. Sure enough, Pacifica Northwest's (probably fake) blonde hair ringed face was plastered on the front page, attached to an article about V-necks.

"Looks like someone bought their way to the front page." Dipper grumbled, annoyed for his sister.

"Is it legal for a child to wear that much make-up?" Stan asked sardonically.

"Ugh, Pacifica. She always ruins everything." Mabel said, starting annoyed before getting sad as she crumpled the newspaper against her chest before dropping its mangled remains on the chair.

"Aw, cheer up Mabel! I mean, no one even reads newspapers anymore." Dipper comforted, putting his hand on her shoulder.

"Dudes!" Soos yelled, slamming through the door separating the gift shop from the living room. "V-neck season is upon us! Who wants to help me get ahead of the fashion curve? I'm taking it one step further, with a W-neck. Must... follow... newspaper..." Soos said, drawing a W into his shirt with a sharpie and then trying to cut along the dotted line with a pair of child scissors.

Mabel walked over to the table, poured herself a glass of orange juice, and downed the shot. "I need something to get my mind off this." Mabel groaned.

"Hey Mabel, listen to this." Dipper said, looking at the back of the newspaper. "'Gravity Falls Royal Discount Putt Hutt: where ye olde words like victory, honor, destiny, and mutton are alive and well. Eighteen holes of feudal fun! Bonus deal, Hobo's golf free week!' Wait, there's a disclaimer in small text at the bottom. 'Old Man Mcgucket excluded from offer, you know what you did. No mutton available at snack shop.'" Dipper read, causing Mabel to perk up. "What do you say, Mabel? We've had a stressful couple of days. How 'bout we take a break, huh?"

"Hold on, that "discount" putt hut isn't even that cheap." Stan cut in.

"There's two buy one get one free coupons for a classic 18 holes. Plus, Mabel's been amazing at mini-golf since we were young." Dipper stated, showing his grunkle a scrapbook with pictures of Mabel mini-golfing.