Knowing.

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                             Kate's pov:

Knowing where you stand in life is impossible. Knowing where you stand with someone like Rome is even more.

He was like that one blanket in the winter that was too warm to be in, but without it we'd be too cool.

I needed to talk to somebody to clear my head, stressing isn't my cup of tea.

I'd called jade and asked her to come over.

We comfortably sat in my room after Dante finally agreed to leave her alone.

We sat on my bed, the duvet covering our lap and a bed table that had more snacks than we could possibly finish in a day.

"You know what Dante does right?" I asked her skeptically.

"Yeah, he's in the mafia and works under Rome." she said munching on chips.

I started explaining her the entire situation with my father and Rome and what happened the last time.

She nodded her head, looking really invested, it was almost comical.

"I don't understand what to do, I know we're going to get married but I do not plan on remaining married Jade. I- I wasn't raised between caring and gentle men. I was a neglected scapegoat.

When other children my age would play with dolls I would be taught how to be a dutiful wife. I've resented this since as long as I remember. Lord knows I've never wanted this from my heart.

I know people dream about it, and Rome must've too. He must've dreamt about creating a home and still plans on it, but I'm not capable of doing so.

I can't- If I do, I'd betray myself, the promises I did to myself. I know this isn't his fault and honestly I don't hate him for it too but I can never see him as anything more than a duty. I know I'm a terrible person but I also know that is a natural reaction, I- I just don't know what to do."I finished, my voice wavering a little. I pursed my lips and looked down at my lap.

"You're not a terrible person Katie," Jade replied, pulling my chin up, "And yes you're correct that was a natural reaction, so why hate yourself for it? And can you just tell all of this to him and maybe find another bride for him?"

"That's the thing man, If I do that and free both of us of this torment, then my father David Russo would remain the consigliere. And I know for a fact he won't let Rome be the Don peacefully and eat his empire up.

And I don't want that to happen, there's nobody better than Rome to be the Don. I'm not even sure how is he holding everything together and without thousands of attacks and rebellions from the local gangs right now since the former Don is dead and he isn't coronated yet. He's just one of a kind, his brain, power, influence, authority is literally what is holding everything together right now in cosa Nostra."

Jade hummed, we sat there for a moment both thinking, "But you know that he won't hate you for that right?" jade said, her eyes convincing.

"For what exactly."

"For this, for wanting time or freedom whatever it maybe at the end. I'm sure he had understand because he really likes you."

My movements halted, and I stared at her like she just said whales have two dicks.

"Hey don't stare at me like I'm some madman!" but I continued to do just that because she possibly wasn't serious.

"Bruh, why would he keep you in the house and let you, people you like, in just like that? As long as I've known Dante I've known Rome Moretti is one not to fuck with. And when I tell you he's a literal changed man now.

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