Where We Go | Book Three

5. Previous Mistakes

They were there again. I was there again.

That crowd of chattering teeth. The echo of bones splitting. Those sounds of death filled the forest like a roar in my ears that wouldn't cease. The woodland had yet again been tainted with blood-stained bark and savaged limbs, but there wouldn't be much left of the carcasses by the time we were done with them. This hunt wasn't to Infect. It was to feed. My body knelt with the others, leaning over the kill. This one hadn't been my slaughter, but I'd brought down enough of them in the same way. My hands dug into their already-torn stomach and pulled out whatever organ my fingers wrapped around. The first time, I'd tried to look at their face to see if I knew who I was ripping apart. I hadn't done it since. I'd decided ignorance was the better choice. Behind me, they took down another. I was halfway through pressing the bloodied flesh between my lips when their scream shook the forest.

*

The rusty brakes screeched as the truck pulled to a stop. My eyes flung open and I swung a clammy hand to my forehead. The pressure building there was like water trying to fit through a narrow gap. The nightmares never felt real once I awoke. They felt as if I'd lived them in another lifetime. But they were mine... and those people had been real.

Resting my neck against the seat, I looked out the window, where we'd stopped in front of an abandoned office building. Trailing leaves and vines decorated its crumbling exterior which was once a pale white. I blinked hard, trying to push away the exhaustion that still clung to my body and eyes.

"Where are we?" Chris lifted his head and narrowed his eyes at the tinted windows. "We made it already?" A fresh patch of dribble stuck to his chin which he quickly swiped away when he noticed Pilot stifling a smile.

"No," Ben said, quick to shoot down the idea that the journey might be over. The dated and derelict building reminded me of one of my university halls. I only ever had one lecture in it but, somehow, its features stuck with me. The content of the lecture, less so.

"We're just pulling over for supplies," Ben replied, careful not to get anyone's hopes up.

"Some food too, I hope," Chris added. "I'm starving."

"You hungry, Soph?" Julia asked the girl who rubbed at her eyes with the back of her hands.

She nodded, still sleepy. Her coat was bundled up to her neck and we'd found her a woolly hat that was far too big for her head, but at least she was warm.

As we began to get out of the car, Ben spoke up. "Maybe you guys should stay here?"

I turned, looking at him over the bonnet. My brows pressed together. "Why would we do that?"

He fumbled, looking at Julia and then Chris. "It might not be safe in there..."

"It's not safe anywhere," I said. "I'm sure we'll be fine."

"But-"

"We'll be fine," I repeated. "Soph, why don't you go with Ben? Chris, you can find somewhere for Julia to sit and Pilot and I will check for supplies."

Chris hesitated before nodding. "Uh, sure."

Ben grabbed my arm as everyone else turned to the building. "Em, you should still be resting. Julia said to be careful."

"I don't need to rest," I said. "We just need to find supplies and then we can focus on finding Carnelian."

He took a step closer, releasing the touch on my arm. "I know what this is..." he spoke softly.

My brows furrowed. "What?"

"You're trying to prove it's all okay... You're trying to pretend that what happened to you earlier didn't happen. But we all saw it. I saw it." His eyes wandered my face, searching for something that wasn't there. Something he'd never find. "I think you should take it easy. Let the rest of us handle this."