Where We Go | Book Three

48. I Didn't Say Anything

The weather had brightened the next morning, and everyone seemed in better spirits because of it. On the horizon, the sun's rays reflected off the waves, sending a shimmer across the ocean. For a moment, I could forget about the dark lingering reality of it all and just exist. If that moment would've been the rest of my life, it would've been bliss. Pure bliss.

At lunch, Ben took my hand and led me towards the firepit where the others were sitting. Tom shuffled up on the log to make space for the two of us.

Donut was already midway through telling a story when we sat down. "I've got Pilot on the radio shouting at me like 'what the fuck are you doing?' and I'm trying to tell him to calm down," he laughed.

"I had no idea what was going on at this point," Pilot rolled his eyes.

"And you were by yourself?" Tom asked with a grin.

Donut nodded, swallowing a mouthful of food. "Completely alone."

Ben leant forward. "Is this while you were at EDIN?"

"Just after I got there," he replied. "Pilot thought I'd get myself killed in the first two weeks."

"And you nearly did," Pilot jumped in.

All of us burst out laughing at Donut's dumbfounded expression but it was short-lived when we saw Lucy approaching the fire pit, heading straight for us. It was her demeanour that scared me the most. The way she kept glancing over her shoulder with each step and she pulled her cardigan tighter around her body. Her face was pale and her eyes sunken. And, in a few words, the brightness of the previous moments came crashing down.

"You're not going to like what I'm about to say," Lucy began.

"That's always a good start to a conversation," Tom rolled his eyes.

"We need you guys to leave Land's End for a little while."

"What?" Ben said first, followed by the same reaction by everyone else.

She wrapped her arms tighter around herself. "We heard on the radio that GUN found Simon's body in the forest and they're coming back here today."

If I had blinked, I would've missed the fleeting glance that Ben shot Donut.

"Why do they care about finding a body?" Chris asked. "Don't they find enough of those anyway?"

Lucy sighed, narrowing her eyes. "If it was anyone else, they probably wouldn't have paid any attention but seeing as Simon was the one who told them about someone being cured... Understandably, they're a little suspicious."

"Isn't us disappearing going to look even more suspicious?" Tom pressed.

She raised her brows. "Would you rather stay here and get caught and killed?"

Tom pursed his lips. "Good point. Where are we going?"

"There's a train station about a 20-minute drive from here. You should go there and wait till someone comes and gets you."

We scrambled. Trays were dropped to the floor, and we took off towards the car park. Curious glances shot in our direction as all of us half walked, half ran across the field. There was no being discreet anymore, not since the gathering at the firepit. Everything that involved me was something Land's End wanted to know about.

"There's one thing I still don't get," Chris said as he began to load weapons into the truck.

"What's that?" Pilot asked.

"How Simon even found out about Em," he continued. "There's no way he figured it out on his own."

I shrugged, picking up another bag from the ground. "Maybe the guy had good intuition."

"Simon? Good intuition?" Tom laughed. "Those two don't go together in the same sentence. That guy barely knew his knife from his foot."

"Did you speak to him much?" I asked.

Tom shrugged. "Occasionally," he replied. "He asked a bit about our group and where we came from."

"What's that?" Ben asked, stepping around to our side of the truck.

"I was asking Tom if he spoke to Simon much," I replied, catching him up.

"And?"

Tom scoffed. "He was pretty curious about our group but I didn't say anything."

"You're sure?" Ben scowled.

The breeze began to pick up and the air grew colder. The remaining bags and weapons on the floor didn't seem to be getting moved as everyone remained still, including me.

"Of course I'm sure," Tom defended himself. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Ben nodded slowly and the atmosphere changed. "Because now that I think about it, you're the only one who ever spoke to Simon and the only person who would've known about Em."

"Fuck off," Tom rolled his eyes and turned away to the bags on the floor.

Ben stepped forward and grabbed his shoulder. "Hey. I'm not finished."

"Back off," Tom stood up, brushing him off. "Drop it."

"Guys, stop," I said, stepping between them. "This is ridiculous."

"Listen to her, Ben," Tom warned.

"What did you say to Simon?" Ben pushed again.

"Fuck all," Tom replied, stepping around me. "I never even stepped foot in that fucking church until the day I found him with Em."

"Stop this!" I said again. "It could've been anyone."

"You think I'd do that to someone I care about?" Tom's voice lowered and he took a step back, scowling. "Do you really think so little of your friends?"

The calmer tone caught Ben off guard. "I- I didn't mean it like that," he stuttered.

"Maybe," Tom replied. "But you still said it." He shook his head, his chest still heaving with deep breaths. "You always do this... You say you trust people and then accuse them of shit. Nobody here is against you. Nobody is going behind your back."

"Ben," Sophia said quietly, tugging on his jacket. None of us had noticed the small girl appear between us all, and there was no telling how long she'd been standing there. "I'm sorry," she said.

Ben turned abruptly, his wild eyes softening as they landed on the girl.

"What?"

"I'm sorry," she whispered again.

"Soph," I said, taking a step towards her and crouching down. "What are you sorry for?"

"It was me," she said, lowering her head. "I'm sorry."

Ben seemed to calm down, squatting down beside her. He placed a hand against her back and met her eyes.

"What are you talking about, Soph?"

"The man. He said if I told him he could take me to mummy."

"You spoke to Simon about Em?"

"I'm sorry," she began to cry, leaning into his shoulder. "I didn't mean to."

Ben's eyes met mine and then they met Tom's. There was a knowing look between us. One where we knew Sophia's childlike instinct was not to blame.

"It's alright Soph," Ben said, holding her tightly. "It's not your fault... Do you remember what you told him?"

Sophia rubbed at her eyes, wiping at the tears that wouldn't stop. "I said she had secret medicine and fake eyes."

"Well," Tom sighed. "I told you he wasn't as smart as he made you think he was."

Ben dropped his grip on Sophia and got to his feet. Looking to the ground, he squeezed his eyes shut. "I owe you a very big apology, man," he said, holding out his hand.

Tom exhaled. "Apology accepted..." he said, accepting the handshake. They pulled each other in for a hug, giving a pat on the back. "I think we all need to calm down a bit."

"What the fuck are you guys still doing here?" Lucy yelled from the radio at Pilot's hip. "If you don't go now, you'll all be dead! Take the exit at the East gate."

"I think that's our cue," I said, pointing at the radio.