My body shakes softly, then roughly. I realize that I am not dreaming of an earthquake, but am being woken up by Paige. I open an eye and find her looking at me.
"Good," she tucks a strand of blonde hair behind her ear, "you're awake."
I close my eye and sit for a few seconds. I open my eyes and stretch. I'm still at the desk with an almost done essay question.
"How long was I out for?" I yawn and scratch my head.
Paige checks her watch on her left hand. "Hm, about two hours. You working on the essay question?"
"Yeah," I nod.
"Which school?"
"Northwestern."
"Oh, good luck."
Paige exits my room and goes into the bathroom. I hear the bath start to run and I look at where I stopped writing.
"There comes a point where we all stop and think if what we're doing is going to have a good outcome or a bad outcome. But would be ever say that no matter the outcome, we were selfish?"
"Hey, P?" I call out to her.
"Yeah?" She calls back.
"Are you going to the party tonight?"
"Getting ready for it."
I glance at the clock on my wall and see that it's only six in the evening. "Why so early?"
"Cause." She opens the bathroom door and steps out in her robe and her toothbrush in her hand. "I gotta help do a beer run. I'm the only one who can successfully flirt with the guy at the liquor store. That way, those cheap asses can sneak some bottles without having the pay."
I giggle and shake me head. I could just imagine Paige twirling her hair around her finger and batting her eye lashes at the vender while the guys sneak bottles into their pants and under their sweaters. "Good luck with that."
"Thank you! I'm definitely going to need it!" She tells me as she walks away into the bathroom again.
¥¥¥
The house phone rings and I get up from the computer and head down the stairs and into the living room to retrieve the phone from where I left it last. After checking the caller ID, I roll my eyes and answer.
"You couldn't call me on my phone? And how'd you get my house number?" I joke.
"It's Paige," she tells me.
"Who you have Shawn's phone?" I ask.
"Cause he's driving," she replies. "Anyways, get ready. We're on our way."
"Alright. How far?"
"Hang on. How far are we, Shawn?" Paige asks Shawn.
I hear his voice in the back, "About ten minutes."
"Got it. Bye," I hang up.
I look at the screen of my computer and smile to myself. After sitting at the desk all day, I had finished typing my essay. The smile slowly fades as I read the last few sentences of the essay.
"It's been said that one is selfish for not taking consideration of others feelings before doing something for themselves. We may find the people we love to be selfish, and those who love us may say the same about us. But, to whomever is actually reading this, I don't know if I love this person. All I know is I haven't said it back and I am about to move to Illinois, live with my friend, and pursue my life long dream of becoming a journalist. That's my challenge.
So, Mr or Mrs Dean of Administrations, I leave you with this final question to ask yourself: Are we selfish for pursing our dreams?"
My hand moves the mouse over the purple "submit" button. This was it. There was no turning back at this point. Nothing to lose, nothing to prove. There's a knot in my gut as something tells me not to submit it. I close my eyes and press down with the right hand index finger. I hear a little woosh-ing sound and open my eyes.
Right there on the screen was a 'Thank You for submitting your essay!'
I turn off the computer and get up from my desk and walk over to my closet, rummaging for something to wear. My outfit for the night was going to be simple: a pair of denim shorts, converse, and an olive green oversized shirt. After getting dressed, I went back to my computer and checked through my acceptance letter emails.
If I weren't accepted to Northwestern, I would have to think of a plan B and, just in case, a plan C.
My phone rings and I quickly grab it.
"Are you guys in front?" I ask.
"Yeah, come out." Shawn tells me.
I hang up and place my phone in my back pocket and grab my house keys. I quickly feed Sebastian and exit the house, locking the door behind me.
From inside Shawn's jeep, Paige jumps into the backseat just as I am opening the passenger door. I climb in, closing the door.
"Ready to party?" Paige asks me.
"Yeah, I'm ready to drag you back home when you're wasted." I reply.
Paige laughs and I turn to Shawn, leaving over and giving him a sweet kiss on the lips. He kisses back and I kiss back, having a quick little make out before I pull apart and he starts to drive.
"Oh, Shawn. Chris texted me," Paige says.
"What'd he say?" Shawn replies.
He looks so attractive in his gray shirt that manages to show off his muscles and his flannel over it. He wears a red baseball cap backwards.
"He said to make a quick stop at the mart by his house. We gotta pick up the brownie and cookie mix."
"Oh there's gonna be food?" I ask.
"Yeah," Paige giggles.
"I can't wait!"
"Try a brownie. The way Chris makes them, you'll be high up in heaven." Paige smirks at me.
