My back rests against the cushion of the couch as I sat down. My hands rests on my thighs, and I could only look down at them, my eyes slightly wide open.
"Is she okay?" Chris asks.
"She's never smoked before." Paige tells him.
"Well, technically, she didn't smoke," Shawn says. He sits down next to me, his right arm over my shoulders. "Jasmine, are you alright?"
"You feeling okay?" Chris asks me. "You hungry?"
"I'm - I'm fine." I say, nodding. "Just...does anyone feel like time is going really slow right now?"
"Okay, she's in the first phase." Paige says.
"It's just hitting her," Shawn replies.
Chris sits next to Shawn on the couch and takes out what looks like brown paper. He sets it on his knee and grabs the same plastic bag from earlier in the kitchen.
I feel very...zoned and spaced out. Almost like I haven't slept in a while. The music that plays in the back suddenly has all these different beats that I hadn't never noticed before.
"Jasmine?" Shawn calls my name.
"Remember the last time we were here?" I ask.
"Yeah?" He replies, slightly confused as to where I'm going.
"I gave you a blow job in the bathroom," I say.
Shawn quickly slaps his hand over my mouth, nervously laughing as Chris looks at us. "That's...that's the weed talking."
I remove his hand from my mouth and lean over Shawn's lap to face Chris. I point to the weed that he was rolling with the brown paper. "Is this weed gluten free?"
Chris and I burst out laughing, but I fall into Shawn's lap, clutching at my stomach.
"Baby, come on, stop," Shawn tells me, picking me up.
"Alright, alright," I say. I lean back in the couch and place a hand on Shawn's knee. "Can you take me out?"
"What?" Shawn asks me.
"Can we go and get a burger?" I ask.
"Yeah, go get us burgers. Come on, I'll give you money." Chris tells Shawn.
"Please Shawn?" I ask.
"Fine. Fine." He sighs. "Pay up," Shawn has his hand out to Chris. Chris reaches into his pocket and hands out money.
"Wait!" Paige tells him. "Pay for me, yeah? I'll pay you back.
"Alright," he says, handing Shawn more money.
Shawn stands up, "Let's go." He helps me up and takes me by the hand, leading me to the car.
I go into the passenger seat and buckle up. To be honest, being "high" wasn't like some people imply it to be. It wasn't anything like feeling on a roller coaster, or laughing at everything, or just being incredibly paranoid. You just felt the same. But there was always that lingering feeling of something being different.
Shawn gets into the car, straps his belt on, and then drives off.
"How are you feeling?" Shawn asks me.
I shrug my shoulders. "I'm okay."
"Do you want to go home?"
"Right now?"
"Yeah."
"No. I-I want to eat my burger."
Shawn chuckles and comes to a red light. He turns to face me but I look at my legs.
"Hey," he calls me. Shawn brings a finger to my chin and turns me to look at him. He leans in and kisses me.
His lips, that I haven't had a good chance of kissing today, feel plump and warm. I kiss him back, moving my lips along with his, slowly moving my head. The kids becomes heated. So heated, in fact, that we don't notice the light change. A car beeps behind us and we pull apart. Shawn drives as I bring a finger to my tingling lips.
"How do you do that to me?" I ask Shawn, looking at him.
"Do what?" Shawn replies.
"How do you manage to kiss me with such a feeling that you leave my lips sore and tingling when you pull apart?"
He glances at me for a brief moment, lightly scoffing before looking ahead at the road. Removing one hand from the wheel, he grabs my hand and kisses it.
"Say you love me," I tell him.
"You know I do," he replies.
"Why can't I say it back?" I ask.
"I want it to be a good moment." He says.
"But I don't want the moment to be the same as yours. I want to look you in the eyes, my breath smelling like burger and ketchup on my lip and tell you that -."
"Just wait for the moment, Jasmine."
I remove my hand from his and cross my arms under my chest. "Baby," Shawn groans, "don't be like that."
"Be like what?" I ask. Shawn pulls into a random parking spot on the side of the road we were on. Cars drive past us, not one looking at us.
"Do you want to go home or not?" He asks me.
"No, not yet." I tell him.
"Fine, then when?"
"When I'm ready."
"And when will that be?"
"When I'm ready."
Shawn sighs and drives off again. We stop at a red light and he turns to me. "That's the last time you're smoking. I think your side effect is attitude."
I don't reply, only move to turn the radio up. Shawn lowers it and places a hand at the back of my neck. With his thumb, he rubs the back of my head in small circles.
"I just wanna say it back." I say.
"I know you do, baby." He replies. "But do you want it to be when you're high?"
I close my eyes and place a hand at his arm, leaning my head back. "Alright."
"Come here." He says. I look at him and slowly smile. He's smiling as he bites down on his bottom lip. I lean into him and slightly part my lips, closing down on his lips. Shawn runs his tongue along the bottom of my lip and I open my mouth wider for him to enter.
We pull apart and I bite down on my bottom lip. Shawn continues to drive, his right hand still rubbing circles at the back of my head.
"I love you," Shawn tells me.
"I hate you," I crack a smile.
"You know you love me."
"I do."
---
this was one of those filler chapters. the next chapter will be them getting ready for the wedding.
