Mama Gotham

I'm So Sorry

  Alyssa didn't like admitting it, but after about a week, she didn't feel guilty for killing the man in the alley. There simply wasn't time, what with studying, detention, and doing odd jobs for Fish.  

She hadn't known the man, so there was really much to feel guilty over. But if she was honest, in the back of her head she could still see his pleading eyes everytime she saw one of the boys pull a gun on something.

Butch was helpful, he never said anything, but he'd give her sympathetic looks and even snuck her a shot of liquor to 'help calm her nerves.' It tasted gross, but to be fair, it worked.

It also helped to focus on something else, and her growing feelings for a certain poindexter were begging for her attention.

Alyssa wasn't really sure what to do. She never been good with feelings, of any kind. She preferred to just annoy who she knew wouldn't shot her. And it wasn't like she had anyone she could talk to about this – the only non-mob affiliated adult she knew was Edward's mother!

"You're scrubbin' that wood like you're trying to break it kid."

"Huh?" Alyssa looked up from the bar she was cleaning to see a man she'd never met before. "Oh, sorry. W-what can I do for you?"

The man smiled at her, an actual smile instead of the smirks that gave her the creeps, and held out his hand. "Nicholas Gordon."

"Alyssa Connors." she shook his hand.

"You looked like you have a lot on your mind."

"I was born and raised in this city. Pretty sure that screws a kid up real good."

He chuckled. "Hey now, my son was raised here too."

Alyssa's eyes went wide. "Gordon. You're Jim's dad, he was a few years ahead of me in school before he graduated."

"Did you know him?"

"Not well."

"Shame. He's in the army now actually."

*********

Alyssa had no interest in even holding a gun again, let alone shooting someone with it. But apparently, Fish had other plans.

She wanted Alyssa fully committed to the business. That meant no more school, no more pranks, no more Edward and and Oswald.

Weaknesses. She had called her friends weaknesses, and posed yet another offer; either she break her ties now, or Fish would do it for her.

Which explained why Alyssa wasn't paying much attention to her study session with Edward.

"Alyssa, you need to focus or you won't pass test."

She sighed internally. I'm so sorry Eddie...

"Listen Ed, I was thinking, its time we just faced the facts." Alyssa said, setting her textbook aside.

"What do you mean?" he frowned.

"I mean, there's no chance of me going to college. I always said you were the one to do something impressive, I'm just the wacky sidekick."

"A-Alyssa, why would you say something like that?"

"Because we're different!" she stood. "You're college, I'm townie! And it was only a matter of time before that caught up with us!"

"Well fine!" Edward exclaimed, standing as well. "Our friendship never made any sense in the first place!"

"Well better we end it now before it last any longer than it did!" Alyssa stormed out of Edward's room and into her own, slamming the door.

********

When Edward and his mother woke up the next morning, she was gone.