Life in Search ✔️

29 ~ Selfish

I don't know what to do.

It hasn't even been a full 24 hours since I last saw Scarlett. She tried calling me, so did Sage, I didn't answer.

They lied.

They lied straight to my face for two months. No guilt or shame, just lies. But their parents are dead.

Okay, I wouldn't have forced them to tell me, but they could've just been vague and then moved on. There was no need for in depth stories to explain where they were.

It's horrible.

Their situation is horrible.

But I love Scarlett and I left her all alone, on the one day she actually needed me. Can I really love someone I've only known two months, that's more than a little soon? Is it really love when she lied and I left?

Abuela was wrong.

Then add on the threats Stella sent my way promising she'd send me back to Atlanta in a body bag if I didn't get back to that house and apologize to Scar. Even Ella promised to never speak to me again and delete all of her pictures of me if I didn't come to my senses.

All James told me was to take a day and come back when I'm not upset. It's not how I think it is.

Well it's been a fucking day and I'm not okay. They lied to me too.

Every single one of my so-called friends lied and I can't get over that.

There's a knock on the door, "Ashton, Hun, we need to talk."

Groaning, I call for mom to come in. I'm not in the mood to hear one of her lectures of how bad Scarlett is. She sits on the edge of my bed, a knowing look in her eyes.

"How did you find out?"

I tell her about Avery and the one-sided conversation I had at Scarlett's. I even go as far as to describe the text messages Stella and Ella sent me.

"It bothers me that she lied about where they were constantly." I finish up.

"Did you ever think about how this situation is for her?" She asks.

Yes, her parents are dead.

"Ashton, who do you think takes care of them?"

I open my mouth, but stop myself, I have no idea. I've never seen anyone but her around. "Oh, no."

Please tell me what she's insinuating isn't true. Mom nods grimly, "Ashton, Scarlett's the one who takes care of her family. She handles a lot every day that no one, even you, has ever dealt with."

I'm literally the worst person I know, and that includes my father.

My mind spirals with all this new information but something catches my attention, "How do you know all this?"

She freezes, "Saffron told me the first time she spent the night."

Is she kidding me? "And you never thought to tell your son? The same son who spent all of his time with this family. The son who has been lied to for so long that you knew how this would go."

Mom winces, "Hun, it was difficult but-"

"But what, you knew and didn't tell me anything. Get out." I spit, not in the mood to see her face.

How could she be so okay about hiding information from me? That's the worst possible thing she could've ever done.

*****

I don't leave my room. I sleep. Run through my conversation with Scarlett on repeat, getting angrier with myself the more I'm reminded by how rude I sounded. Reliving that hurts but what stings is reminding myself how broken she looked.