Our Time (BILLIE EILISH)

- F i f t y t w o -

We pull up into the interview, I was nervous as hell. I'm never nervous for interviews. I'm not nervous for the interview, I'm nervous for what the hell is going to happen in the next couple days. I canceled on my girlfriend to meet with my ex girlfriend, omg why am I like this?

I was sitting on the floor ready to play with puppies and answer fans questions. I was watching the director behind the camera, he counted down on his fingers from five to one.

"Hey guys, I'm Madison Voyage. I'm going to be playing with puppies while I answer your guys questions."

I scratched behind the white dogs ear.

"How are you doing recently?"

"Recently, talking about like the last month. I've been on cloud nine, but recently talking about within the last week. I've been hurting the ones that care about the most, and I don't know why. So overall I guess I'm okay?"

"What is your favorite memory with Billie?"

I thought for a minute, trying to put my finger on one favorite moment.

"Okay there's two and I cant name a favorite memory, just because I can't put one over all the others. The first one that came to my mind, is one night she wanted to come over. I said no, because I needed to clean my apartment. I knew if she came then no work would get done, eventually she convinced me to come over and she did. I have this toy car, that you can fit in and drive it. She got in the car and drove it, then she was like hop on. I don't know how we did it, I don't know how we both fit. But I'm really glad that she came over that night because it was a really fun time. Then the other time was like a week ago, I has having a hella bad time. Then she planned this beach night, with all of our friends and I can genuinely say that that was the best night of my life."

"Are you coming back to YouTube?"

"By the time you guys see this, I'm back."

"Who was the 'B' on your nail?"

I am big caught.

"It was whoever you think it was."

"What would you be doing if weren't doing what you're doing?"

"Not a lot of people know this, but I graduated a year early and I had an opportunity to go to college to become a lawyer. But I didn't do that, because I cant see myself doing that permanently."

"Anything you would tell your younger self?"

"No, I might regret some shit now. But it all happened for a reason." 

"How to not be afraid to move on after a toxic relationship?"

"That's a good question, I have no clue. I was in a very very toxic, relationship for like nine, ten months. I didn't date anyone, seriously until like two, three weeks ago. There is this constant fear on my mind that I will get hurt again, but I know right now that the relationship that I'm in now is so so real. I don't know, you can only find out that it's toxic through time. I haven't been with this person for that long, but I'm beyond happy. So yeah, I don't know how to move on really, like the shit that happened in my pervious relationship has taken such a toll on me and I'm still very much affected by it. But how I moved on, is when we first got together. I didn't let any doubts come over me, but now I have a lot so. The answer is I don't know do what you want." I laughed.

"The final question, what is your favorite part of your career?"

"Um, I really like shooting for either like brand deals or photoshoots. I have a lot of shit coming up, so therefore I have a lot of shoots coming up and I'm pumped."