Our Time (BILLIE EILISH)

- O n e h u n d r e d & t h i r t y o n e -

The Next Day: August 18th at 10:34AM

Billie's POV:

Maddie and I have been awake for awhile, I have to leave at one if I wanna make it to the interview on time. But I need to talk to her. But I don't know how to talk to her, that sounds crazy. But I'm about to go for it.

Billie: "Okay, we gotta talk shorty."

Maddie: "I agree."

She's going to want to talk about tour, I wanna talk about her mental health.

Billie: "Okay, yesterday, when you said that you felt stuck in your career, I ate myself alive for it, even though it's not my fault. I didn't understand why you felt like this until Finneas talked to me about it, he said that you're only seventeen and already at the top of the world, that's why you feel stuck but, there's so many things that you can do to be bigger and I have an idea on how to make you see that. I'll give it to you in a couple days."

Maddie: "I know that's there's bigger things I can do, but I just feel like there's nothing I can do to come down from the high that I have, like I thought about it last night, I shouldn't have felt the way that I did, because that wasn't a normal launch party. It was for Calvin Klein."

Billie: "I'm so glad you see that now, because I talked to Dani, Kenzie and the twins. They all told me relatively the same things. Like I don't want you quit working the second that you can afford to cover your life, I want you keep going so you have an amazing story for our kids."

I said that on purpose this time to see Maddie's reaction. All she could do was smile.

Maddie: "I could retire now, if I wanted to."

Billie: "You're not going to retire until you can't keep going anymore."

Maddie: "Like fifty."

Billie: "Sure, as long as it's not any time soon."

Maddie: "Okay, tour."

Billie: "I hate all the press before tour, and I hate leaving the people that I spend almost everyday with, because I won't see you until late September, early October. How the hell am I going to go from talking to you everyday, to barely speaking to you at all?"

Maddie: "Woah what? You're not going to talk to me anymore?"

Billie: "I don't want to do that, but tour is so busy and I never have a time to sit down and talk to the people I want to. Every time I have a chance I'll try to call you, but you're busy too. Like no matter what happens I'll still think of you, and I'll still love you, but we're not going to be able to talk like we do now."

I could tell Maddie hasn't thought of any of this, this is the main reason I hate tour. Because there's no guarantee that I'm going to be able to talk to her everyday.

Billie: "We'll figure it out."

Maddie: "Yeah."

Billie: "I have to head out, I have a full day of press."

Maddie: "Five more minutes."

Billie: "Anything for you shorty."

I got back into the bed and she wrapped her arms around me, the more time I spend with her, the more often I count down the days until I leave because I have to tell myself that oh I have this amount of days that I can enjoy this until I have to leave her for four months.

What am I going to do about her? Like I don't want her to be constricted while I'm away, but I don't want her to move on, because I still wanna be with her and I still love her. But what if she finds someone else while I'm away from her?